Fine, you know, same as always…there’s just one thing, I can’t get that jolly vibrator to work!
What? Your vibrator?
Yes. You know, that thing. That vibrates. I plugged it in, so it’s not a battery problem or anything..It heats up, so that’s not the problem. It just doesn’t vibrate like it’s supposed to.
Oh. (puzzles) Ohhhhh. That thing, Your VIBRATOR. Er, mum, I think you mean your vibrating back pillow. You do know what a vibrator is, don’t you?
Cup of tea? No…what do you mean?
A vibrator is, um, one of those things that you buy that you hold up against your, you know, and it gives you orgasms. You buy them in sex shops.
You hold it up against your..but why would you want to do that?
Well, suppose you didn’t have a man around, and you felt like sex, well there’s this little machine in your bedside drawer and you have that instead. Or, some people have it even when there IS a man around.
Oh. (pause) Well I’ve never heard of THAT. And frankly I don’t see the point. How strange. Now about that vibrator..
Darling mum, wherever you are in the ether (or not), have a big virtual hug!
—————————————
Rose, that’s a cute story, but Rose’s mum was far more liberal and progressive than mine. My mum still hasn’t told me sex, and I think she would collapsed from shock if I discussed vibrators, CS
I went out tonight and gave the old Internet Dating wheel a spin, it was actually a pleasant night a lovely lady. Nothing romantic happening, just a nice pleasant evening, a good dinner followed by a really great musical romp through outback Australia and then Vietnam. The film is set in the 1960’s and early 1970’s, and tells the tale of a family of Aboriginal singers who form a group and get to tour South Vietnam to entertain the troops.
I really enjoyed this film, not because it had a deep and meaningful plot, or that it was clever or original, but because it was honest, old-fashioned enjoyment. There was a little bit of moralising about the treatment of blacks in Australia, as there should be, I don’t agree with painting over our history, good or bad. There were also some reminders about the events in Vietnam, and racial discrimination, but it was not the main focus of the film, which was definitely the music.
Here are some samples of the music from the film, and the soulful voice of Jessica Mauboy.
What A Man – Jessica Mauboy
Who’s Loving You? – Jessica Mauboy
I Can’t Help Myself – Jessica Mauboy
And the best part… let’s hear it for the Real Sapphires
“The Sapphires feature film is inspired by a true story about four extraordinary Aboriginal women, sisters Laurel Robinson, Lois Peeler and their cousins Beverley Briggs and Naomi Mayers. Yorta Yorta women born along the Murray River, they were part of an extended family of brothers and sisters who regularly sang together during the 1960’s and 70’s. Sisters Laurel and Lois toured Vietnam in the late 1960’s singing to the American troops - an extraordinary achievement for two young Aboriginal women, considering that Aboriginal people had just received the right to vote.
All four women still live in Australia. Naomi Mayers has been the Chief Executive Officer of the Aboriginal Medical Service for 30 years. Beverly and Laurel have tirelessly worked by her side striving to improve the health of the Aboriginal community. Naomi received an Order of Australia Medal in 1984. Lois Peeler became Australia’s first Aboriginal model and is now the Executive Director of Worawa Aboriginal College, a secondary education facility for young Aboriginal Women, founded by one of her seven sisters the late Hyllus Maris. Lois is also the former head of Aboriginal Tourism Australia.”
Yes she seemed to, but it’s hard to tell when you are laughing at it as hard as she was. She even got emotional a couple of times during the few tear jerker moments that this genre of film is really good at, not me of course, I’m a man… I think we both enjoyed the movie, no strike that, I know I did anyway.
Will there be another date Capt?
I don’t know, maybe, it’s nice to go out with someone without there being any pressure or expectations of anything happening apart from enjoying yourself.
Now here is a man crying… And is it just me, or does Robin Williams have REALLY hairy arms? And Yes Rose, I know that you REALLY love that… (hairiness) 🙂
Capt. Savage
(Totally enjoyed watching the Sapphires, a real feel good romp)
John Lennon with Instant Karma, and given how long Rose and my Karmic Challenge is taking, I’m starting to wish for a can of the instant stuff… And what the hell was Yoko thinking of in this video?
THE CHALLENGE. A man (Captain Savage). A woman (Rose). A quest. To earn enough karmic points by Christmas to be reincarnated as Something Nice. Maybe a big fat lazy lizard lounging on a sunny rock? (adapted stolen from Rose’s blog)
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
I did make a trip to see my mum, and got to talk over some things. Plus found some old photos which I still need to get the full story from mum about. But I gather that mum used to enjoy chasing the boys (a bit), and she was not a bad photographic subject…
Mum on holidays, I’m guessing she’s on a beach…
Mum fishing, look at the size of the fish…
Here is mum with one of her many boyfriends (pre-dad) and her sister-in-law with her dashing brother (the RAAF pilot). You might notice the nose on mum, I may have inherited that…
So how many points do I get for driving my new car (got another mention in) to visit my mum Rose?
Maybe 10 points for seeing mum and 10 points for making her lunch? = 20 points
But it was nice to see her and it always brings a smile to her face… And I just have to ring her up when I get home so she knows I got home ok (makes me feel like kid again).
Then there were my continued efforts to become a part-time foster carer. I have completed all of my paperwork, sent it dutifully to the foster care coordinator, and I am now waiting to see if there extensive search discovers that I am actually an axe maniac… (or is that frustrated sex maniac?).
I think that I will be pretty safe, I am a dutiful part-time dad, an accountant, a public servant, over 50, and with a beard that makes me look like Santa… How could they say no to me?
She used her secret Karma gathering trick (one of her cute pets). Sneaky way to gather points and according to El Gaupo she should get a few points, see below
I bet you pick up a few points for bringing Gooch.
You should talk to the staff of the hostel to get their ok for bringing Gooch, especially after he brought so much joy to them.
It would be terrible for you to bring the dog then have an overzealous staffer throw you out.
Play fair Rose, using Gucci as a Karma Magnet… It’s cheating I say…
So OK Rose, how about 5 points for you and 10 points for Gucci? = 15 Points
I really can’t afford to give you too many points, it’s still months out from Christmas and at the rate you have collected (or I have stupidly allocated) points, you’ll be reborn as a rich lotto winner cougar lady soon…
And Ta-Da, the Week 21 Tally, feedback Rose?
Rose
The Capt.
Week No.
Week Ending
Rose’s Weekly Tally
Rose’s Running Total
Capt’s Weekly Tally
Capt’s Running Total
10
30/05/2012
5
151
15
90
11
6/06/2012
10
161
10
100
12
13/06/2012
0
161
10
110
13
20/06/2012
20
181
20
130
14
27/06/2012
25
206
25
155
15
4/07/2012
200
406
50
205
16
11/07/2012
10
416
15
220
17
18/07/2012
10
426
20
240
18
25/07/2012
5
431
25
265
19
1/08/2012
5
436
20
285
20
8/08/2012
10
446
25
310
21
15/08/2012
15
461
30
340
Capt. Savage
(Final judge of Karmic excellence, get that Rose, FINAL, no arguments please, and I know that’s going to come back and bite me isn’t it)
Ok I have the new car, but it is SO complicated that I haven’t time to blog, I am too busy reading the manual.
But the car came with an automatic parking feature called ‘Park Assist’, it just blows my mind, see the video it is scary stuff. I took Rose and Mr F to look at heaters this afternoon, and I gave them a demo too, pretty hair raising parallel parking a car with no hands… But what the heck it works… This car has soooo many gadgets it will take me a year to figure them out.
These Germans, how can people so clever think Lederhosen look good?
Here is my car, soon to be traded, we had some good times, we had some bad times, but through it all you have always been… A Gas Guzzling heap of JUNK…
Ode to My Old Tin Can Ford
The Ford is my auto; I shall not walk.
It maketh me to lie down beneath it.
It leaveth me stranded in deep waters.
It irritates my soul.
It leadeth me in the path of ridicule for its namesake.
Yea, though I drive through the valleys, I am towed up the hills.
I fear all evil for my sparkplug corrodeth.
My rods and my bolts discomfort me.
It prepareth a puncture in the presence of trouble.
It annointeth my hands with grease.
My radiator boileth over.
Surely curses and punctures shall follow me all the days of my life;
And I shall plead before the Ford in vain forever.
However my Ford is now destined for someone else, and best of luck to them. May they discover the pleasures of visiting the gas station far too often, of rubber door seals that were always falling off, of a build quality only an Australian could be proud of, but it was a great car for the family. So many memories as this was the last car I bought before my wife and I split up, in fact I took delivery of it only 3 months before we did. The kids actually rarely saw the two of us in the car together and it was the last thing that my ex-wife returned to me (it was too expensive).
My New car awaits me at the dealer, I’m picking it up tomorrow, as does the pleasures of diesel economy, of lots and lots of gadgets, bring it on, and I hope it inspires me in ways that my Ford never did.
Capt. Savage
(Leaving his former US love, i.e. his Ford SUV, for his new European model, from Germany)
Stephen R. Covey died the other day (16 July 2012). He was best known for his top-selling book ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People’ which sold well over 15 million copies worldwide.
Now I don’t agree with everything that Stephen Covey espoused, especially the idea that all you have to do is make the right choices, and that your future is in your own hands. But who can argue with his main messages which were built around fairness, integrity, service to others and human dignity.
One thing that I do agree with is his proposition that all of us as we grow from childhood to adolescence to being adults, move from dependence to independence and then finally to interdependence.
When we are born we are totally dependent on our parents, our carers and our families. As we grow we become more and more independent, more self-reliant, more proactive and less reactive to our environment. We start to plan things, to achieve things, and this leads to a level of independence. According to Covey as we strive for independence we achieve our own private victories.
The more challenging concept is that of interdependence. That is where we start to become part of the community, make a contribution to others, look to work together to achieve rather than just striving to achieve our own goals. As we become interdependent Covey suggested that we should first seek to understand, and then seek to be understood. Further he believed that the best solutions come from joint ideas and involve striving for all involved to winners, rather than just ourselves being the winners. He described this as our public victories.
I’ve read a few of Covey’s books and found that there was quite a bit that was of use to me, and maybe a bit of who I am now is thanks to Stephen R. Covey. My very best wishes to his family and thanks to Stephen for sharing his principles and ideas with us all.
The world will end in three days,
The moving van will be pulled up,
The walk-in closet will empty,
I’ll sit with my gold wedding cup.
The kids have all moved to the city,
The laughs and the heartaches are gone,
The space, just a void there between us,
No more of the sweet touch at dawn.
The world will end in three days,
She has a new place of her own,
I’ll drink cyanide with my nightcap,
And be gone, before dawn, all alone.
But regardless it made me think about my own separation and divorce, although in my case I left rather than she left. But in reality the marriage and relationship had been broken for some time and it was just that I acted first before she did.
So TrailerTrash, a very moving poem, and it made me think of this very haunting song by Chris Isaak’s “Blue Spanish Sky”, which contains some really nice lyrics reflective of your own thoughts. In my case what I miss most is my children and the comfort of having a family.
The moment I finally walked out was in a way a release from sadness, as for so many months before I left I had been unhappy and feeling so alone. It was made more difficult because I felt I had to keep up the performance, i.e. appear to be the happy family man, when in fact my heart was broken. The confused look on my kid’s faces when I left said it all to me.
Great post TrailerTrash, thanks for sharing.
CS
(BTW I am now learning how to play this song on my guitar, and I know my daughter will HATE it when I play it to her in September, but who cares, I love it)
Thanks for the nomination and as I said on your blog congratulations on your receiving this award. I will respond shortly when I have more time, but I’m worried that my barrel of truths is getting to my 7 deadly sins level… So careful thought is needed before responding.
Capt. Savage
(Finger on the trigger guard waiting for the target)
Thank you Mel at i am not she for wanting to know more about me!
Truth be told, Mel knows stuff about me that will remain only between the two of us.I trust Mel. That is not an easy feat for me and speaks volumes about who Mel is as a person. I am grateful for her friendship and our long and disjointed path. Mel, thank you for sharing so much of your heart in your blog. Thank you for reaching out to those with eating disorders. Thank you for being a beacon of What Can Be when it is easier Not To.
You are a Ray of Sunshine with little teeny Devily Horns. You know that is a good thing…
I loved your responses my Friend and look forward to learning more about my most mysterious Bloggsters!
Mel, I hope you’ll forgive me for essentially using your…
The 7 x 7 Award – with thanks and a bit of inspiration from Mel at IamNotShe
Mel from IamNotShe has nominated me for the 7 x 7 Blogger Award.
I am really glad that Mel enjoys my thoughts and tidbits, because I get a lot from her strength. If you have a look at her blog you will see that she’s struggled with her own issues and yet her blog is filled with poetry and inspiration. I can relate to her struggle with eating disorders as I lived with someone who suffered from bulimia. My girlfriend at the time and I tried really hard to make her see that her behavior wasn’t normal, at least from our perspective, to her it was her normality. But she had to realise it for herself, and eventually with the help of her boyfriend (now husband) she finally saw the light and got some help.
Plus she could be a bit naughty I think, at least that’s what comes out between the lines in some of her comments. And anyone who appreciates Rose’s running commentary of the world, see ButImBeautiful, must be slightly warped… But in a good way J
Now this award requires me to;
1) Reveal seven things about myself that you don’t already know;
2) Compile 7 of my favorite (poems/links) from my blog;
3) Bestow this award upon 7 other bloggers.
So firstly, 7 things about me that you probably don’t know…
I went to a private school as a teenager which was also an agricultural college. Capt. Savage knows how to milk a cow, shovel shit (pardon me), class and handle wool (very Aussie), put sheep through a sheep dip (dose them for parasites) and other even less desirable things. I even spent a week with a team of shearers on a farm out past the black stump (past a little place called West Wyalong). Where the shearers had a great time taking the piss out of this kid from the big smoke (how my little country town home was the big smoke I don’t know).
(Picture of a shearing shed just like where I worked as a young bloke)
On the same stream of rural type stuff, I actually have won prizes at the local Agricultural Show from my spinning and weaving of wool when I was a young bloke, plus I used to be a bit of a dag as well… But that is another story which involved much Bundaberg Rum and utes doing circle work. Don’t every let me tell you that I don’t understand bushies (Australian Bushman)… Cause that’s a load of bulldust!!!
(this could have been me, but luckily I grew up…)
My father was at one time a Bondi Beach lifesaver… Which was where he picked up my mother who used to go there cruising for blokes just after WWII, well not the beach itself but dance clubs around there. My dad was a bit of a dancer (and he thought a bit of a ladies man) and well one type of dancing lead to another and next thing you know they were married. But my dad came back from the war with issues with his equipment, and was told he could never have kids… But some years later along came my elder brother (the apparently miracle baby) and then 6 years after that came little old me…
(Note Rose, not a chest hair between them)
I really have the lousiest memory on the planet, and need a diary just to survive each day. Now that I am without a watch, I am lucky I am not at work because I would be feeling very lost. But I suppose almost every electronic device we have now has a time function, so I don’t have to look very far to find the time.
As with quite a few of my country boy mates, I never actually learnt to swim, and have had to teach myself as an adult. I try to hide it from people (not very well I’m afraid). I even went down the coast with a friend and she suggested we go body surfing… I just couldn’t bring myself to mention that I actually can’t swim more than 25 metres and that this idea was scaring the crap out of me… But in I went, she tried to encourage me to, but in the end I think she gave up on me… I’ll never be a surf life saver like my dad… But I am still trying and have enrolled in swimming classes. My aim is to get my first level life savers certificate, mainly because my kids love water and I feel bad for not being able to indulge them past the shallow end…
(Maybe I’m wise to avoid the surf…)
I used to be a breakfast DJ on the local FM station in my hometown. That was until I had a particularly heavy night and may have been unavoidably detained away from my duties, i.e. changing the records (yep it was that long ago) and the station transmitted almost 10 minutes of dead time (no music). The station manager was not amused…
(Now imagine red/blonde hair, and maybe slightly less eyebrows, and this could’ve been me)
And last but not least… I love cooking and actually went to a cooking school in Thailand (Northern food at Chiang Mai), but I also used to manage a pizza hut for over 4 years (if you can call that food) and after that I had a café/delicatessen/general store as well. I can make a mean coffee, love making my own pasta and have a pasta maker to boot, but my favorite food is northern Thai and Vietnamese food. I’m also a closet vegetarian, as in I have lived with several vegos and married one as well.
(The fresh food markets are Chiang Mai, the smell nearly knocked me over)
Ok, my seven all-time favorites from my own blog (or in my case blogs)…
Well I only started on this blogging trail in January of this year thanks to the inspiration and encouragement of my best friend Rose from ButImBeautiful. You should have a look at her blog(s), yep she has two that I know of, but probably more… who knows!!! Just be prepared because Rose is Rose, she says it like she sees it, especially on her second blog Romancing with Rose, although the title could be a little more revealing I think about the contents… But it’s all true blue Rose…
Lastly, these blogs are all worth the visit, some and have in some cases been personal inspirations to me… I’ve put in 10 instead of 7 as there are three which I just have to mention, but they don’t have to feel obliged to accept the award, because their cupboards are already probably overflowing…
Obviously I have to renominate the nominator – I Am Not She (I know you just gave me this award, but I don’t care, here it is right back at you)
Has branched out into recipes recently, but a lovely person – A Bump to the Head
Just how I want to grow old, slightly twisted with a bit of lemon on the side – How the Cookie Crumbles
The imagination of this person, travel guides to the weird and transgender advice from an Aunty – Ginger Fight Back
I’ve written a poem about this particular blogger… She’s a hoot, she’s my friend, and she’s always hitting to left field – ButImBeautiful (And yes I think you already have this award)
The view from the lobby in some hotel somewhere – The Hook (and I’m sure you don’t need an award, but suck it up mate, here it is anyway)
You know it’s a pleasure me getting awards, and totally unnecessary to boot!!! As I am really enjoying being able to put my thoughts, as they are, and only too grateful that some people out their enjoy reading them occasionally. I would actually be happy if only I read them as the main thing for me is just to get things out of my head sometimes.
Plus tonight all the kids are soundly asleep (I can hear them snoring) so I’ve had time to put up a more fulsome award response, and I will be contacting the nominated bloggers shortly to let them know how much I appreciate their efforts as well.
Capt. Savage
(My moral compass has been too close to a magnet I think)
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