The Capt. Hits the Karmic Accelerator… Week 29 on Steriods… And no concerns about anti-doping tests

THE CHALLENGE. A man (Captain Savage – a man with a Pink heart). A woman (Rose). A quest. To earn enough karmic points by Christmas to be reincarnated as Something Nice. Ok so maybe I’ve been a bit slack, but now I’m seeing Pink…

Ah Rose, you are such an inspiration to me…

Let me count the ways…

Well there is Mr. L, who you visit and who is now enjoying see you much more since the weather is allowing you to wear clothing that reveals more of Rosy-ness, see Week 27 – Wear a Low Cut Dress for Jesus!, for more sordid details. And I know what a trial Mr. L can be for you, just cast your mind back to… The Karmic Challenge – Week 19′s Bloodthirsty Pensioner Strikes Again!! .

Then there are the many causes you support such as the two kids you sponsor, see kounting-the-karma for details. Let’s also not forget the lovely old lady you visited prior to Mr. L.

Then of course there are your many animal causes, such as your recent ‘Anti Live Sheep Exports’ activities.

Rose joined the throng (mostly women I noticed), protesting violently (in the rain)

Also, there is the food you generously gave to the Cat Lady (the women who refused to part with one of her pussies to me), see Karmic Challenge – the Second Week! With lots and lots of pussy tails (and the rest of the cats as well).

Too be honest there are just too many Karmic efforts Rose for me to count them all, last but not least is your preservation and support of glue factory candidates, i.e. your own lovely little Clipsie, who you bought for your daughter to ride from someone who forgot to tell you she was blind. Many other people would have done otherwise, but you kept her, and are still making sure she is looked after.

Here is Clipsie with the divine Miss M and one of her friends

SO Rose, where will all this Karma take you? What reincarnation awaits you?

———————————————-

Well Capt, How about your Karmic struggle this week?

The other day I started to think about how fortunate I am to be alive, I know that sounds a bit morbid, but quite a few friends, relatives of friends, and members of my family, have been taken by the big “C” (Cancer).

SO this week I decided to burn rubber on my side of the Karmic Challenge…

So when someone suggested the idea of running a Pink Ribbon Breakfast, I leapt at the idea, well not the Breakfast bit, I like getting into work after breakfast, not for breakfast. So I decided that a morning tea would be better, so at the moment I am madly running around my workplace arranging a venue and people to make things for the morning tea.

Maybe this is something people will be munching at my Pink Ribbon Morning Tea…

Ok, so what is Pink Ribbon Day all about?

National Pink Ribbon Day is the major fund-raising activity of the National Breast Cancer Foundation in Australia. People can buy pins, badges, wristbands or just donate money to support cancer research.

Who does the money go to?

To the National Breast Cancer Foundation (NBCF) who are the leading community-funded organisation in Australia raising money for research into the prevention and cure of breast cancer. The NBCF works with the public and other sponsors to raise funds and to support cancer research.

Since the NBCF was established in 1994, $81 million has been awarded to fund over 300 Australian-based research projects across every state and territory to improve the health and wellbeing of those affected by breast cancer.

Their goal is to achieve zero death from breast cancer by 2030. With 38 Australians diagnosed each day and eight losing their battle, there is still much to do.

(Note it’s a Morning Tea not a Breakfast)

My Aim is?

To raise $1,000 for the National Breast Cancer Foundation (at a minimum). You can support my Morning Tea by making donations at… Support Capt. Savage’s Pink Ribbon Day Morning Tea

Yep, there will be plenty of clinking of cups and saucers at my Pink Ribbon Day Morning Tea…

What other Karmic Efforts have you made this week Capt?

Well, almost inspired by Rose, I’ve decided to do my best to support a horse event, well actually more accurately I’ve volunteered to help run a Melbourne Cup luncheon.

OK, so what is the Melbourne Cup?

The Melbourne cup is the horse race that practically stops a nation (Australia if you hadn’t guessed). You can get more details at this Melbourne Cup link.

Here are a couple of likely candidates riding in the Melbourne Cup last year…

I’m not sure that Rose will actually approve of this little effort, as it’s probably more about exploitation of horses than supporting them, but you never know, maybe she’ll join me at the luncheon on the day? Chicken and Champagne anyone?

So Rose, why don’t we make the target 750 points by Christmas, are you game enough?

Well I haven’t compared notes with Rose, but given our collective scores I think we need to bump the target. Because surely Rose you are already inline to be reincarnated as the woman who won the lottery, or married Bill Gates (but a hairier, more muscular, less nerdy version, but still EXTREMELY rich). I can picture you now, living out your days on your idyllic country retreat, surrounded by cuddly animals, and lots and lots of grandkids… (this concept probably would scare the pants off Miss M I think).

So What is the Karmic Tally for this week?

Week No. Week Ending Rose’s Weekly Tally Rose’s Running Total Capt’s Weekly Tally Capt’s Running Total
15 4/07/2012 200 406 50 205
16 11/07/2012 10 416 15 220
17 18/07/2012 10 426 20 240
18 25/07/2012 5 431 25 265
19 1/08/2012 5 436 20 285
20 8/08/2012 10 446 25 310
21 15/08/2012 15 461 30 340
22 22/08/2012 1 462 15 355
23 29/08/2012 1 463 15 370
24 5/09/2012 1 464 15 385
25 12/09/2012 1 465 15 400
26 19/09/2012 1 466 15 415
27 26/09/2012 1 467 15 430
28 3/10/2012 1 468 15 445
29 10/10/2012  ?? Rose  ?? Capt.

Capt. Savage

(Don’t forget, donations to Capt. Savage’s Pink Breakfast are more than welcome at Capt. Savage’s Pink Ribbon Morning Tea)

Week 21 – Karma gathering has never been so hard…

THE CHALLENGE. A man (Captain Savage). A woman (Rose). A quest. To earn enough karmic points by Christmas to be reincarnated as Something Nice. Maybe a 3 toed sloth, they have a pretty lazy life? (adapted stolen from Rose’s blog)

“Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.”
Dalai Lama XIV

 

The Dalai Lama, what a cheeky chap…

The Captain’s Karma

So what did I get up to this week worthy of perhaps raising myself to a slightly higher reincarnation?

My life this week has revolved around my work, slavishly droning away preparing briefing papers for two meetings. It drove me nuts mostly, and I’m sure I drove the staff working with me nuts too. I was once again being whipped unmercifully by my devil like boss, Mr S …


Here I am, on the galley, slaving away… Oops, maybe this is my fantasy galley… Sorry…

This week I did do some good deeds, just a few squeezed in amongst the grunting and cursing (mostly when I’m at work btw).

I managed to make coffee for several of my staff, or pay for coffees, or some combination of that. I was also very nice to every woman that I could be, getting in practice for dating; just have to catch a slower moving target… Most women run far too fast.


If only I could make a coffee heart + smiley…

Maybe 2.5 points per cuppa = 10 points?

Plus, true knight and shining armour style, I loaned my almost unused vacuum cleaner to a desperate friend (and she appreciated it). Now what she was going to do with it I hope involved just floors and domestics… I’ve heard rumours however about backyard liposuction…

And I kid you not friends…

“Suck-It-Yourself

Liposuction at home

by Eve Rings Published November 8, 1999 in Crave

It would cost me about $2,500 to get the fat sucked out of my ass. It would cost me about $250 to get a Fantom Cyclone XT vacuum with HEPA filter and a free T-shirt. The Fantom Cyclone weighs 25 pounds. I think my ass weighs 25 pounds. It would take about 25 days (almost 4 weeks) for me to heal from ass surgery. If I ordered my vacuum today, it would take me about 5-10 days to receive it by standard shipping. Not only is the Fantom Cyclone XT a great way to do your home liposuction, but it utilizes a certified HEPA filter on the exhaust to trap minute particles such as pollen, mold, fungus, yeast cells, plant spores and many other household allergens.

So what more could you want, after a hard session of liposuction, you can use the Cyclone’s upholstery/pet hair tool to clean up the lounge room, and as an added bonus it comes with an environmentally friendly clear collection bin which you can wash in your dishwasher…”

I found this article on the Internet… It must be true… And the Fantom Cyclone, well I want one now…

So, dear friend, if I find one scrape of fat in my vacuum cleaner, I’ll know what you’ve been up to…


Here is my vacuum cleaner, or one very much like it, pre-liposuction…

So maybe I get some points for dropping off the vacuum? For whatever purpose it’s intended use is = 10 points


And just maybe, just maybe, I went out to the movies straight from work, and didn’t get home to feed dear little Miss T, my pussy. Now she may just have been a little upset with me, see https://captsavage.wordpress.com/2012/08/21/tale-of-my-naughty-pussy/ and just maybe I deserved it for not feeding her on time…

SO what do you think Miss Tabitha = Minus 5 points?

Rose’s Tally…

So this is Rose’s own summary of her efforts:

“what have I thrown out into my ocean this week? Pretty much nothing – I’m struggling just to stay afloat. Unless you count taking my treasured eldest sister to Birthday Breakfast on Sunday – CAN we count that, Ms A? Please?”


A Birthday Breakfast, perhaps it didn’t look like this?

But I think you Miss Rose are being a bit hard on yourself, your heart has and is always in the right place, even if your mind isn’t always… Yep your heart is that pumpy thing in your chest… And this week you have been a little bit distracted, see Rose’s post… http://butimbeautiful.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/the-karmic-challenge-week-21-does-the-universe-care-if-you-pick-your-nose/ and you’ll see what I mean…

So how about… = 5 points?

You don’t really need many anyway; you are so close to being reincarnated as perhaps a sleepy Wombat… Almost nirvana!!!


A Very sleepy Wombat…

Ta Da… and Week 22’s points tally is…

   

Rose

The Capt.

Week No. Week Ending Rose’s Weekly Tally Rose’s Running Total Capt’s Weekly Tally Capt’s Running Total
15

4/07/2012

200

406

50

205

16

11/07/2012

10

416

15

220

17

18/07/2012

10

426

20

240

18

25/07/2012

5

431

25

265

19

1/08/2012

5

436

20

285

20

8/08/2012

10

446

25

310

21

15/08/2012

15

461

30

340

22

22/08/2012

5

466

15

355

Capt. Savage

(Soon to be reincarnated as a small furry gerbil, so cute)


I’d be such a cute Gerbil…

Tale of my Naughty Pussy

20120821-231343.jpg

Tale of a naughty Pussy

So off to the movies did one Capt go
He was running quite late and couldn’t go slow
But this meant he didn’t go home first
Which on reflection was one of his worst
Ideas that he’d thought of in ages you see
You never should leave your pussy alone to just be!
For cats without food are nothing but trouble
They are like a good stew left alone to bubble
Cause you know just as soon as you sit and get comfy
That’s when that damn stew overflows over all and sundry
Now Tabitha expects her dinner quite promptly
As soon as I walk in or else she gets quite grumpy
So by the time I got home it was closer to ten
Dear little miss Tabitha had had quite enough by then
All of this waiting for dinner you see
Had made her quite angry and was looking for me
So she ripped up some paperwork
She tossed things of the shelf on the floor
She raced round crazily
Soon as I walked in the door
She scratched at my legs
She jumped all around
She bit and chewed at back of my lounge
Then she ran in the laundry and jumped up and down
She didn’t quiet down till she had food in her bowl
And once again I knew that from her view that was my role
I may be her owner, her carer, her mate
But really my role is to fill up her plate

Capt. Savage
(Food supplier and litter tray cleaner)

T.S. Eliot Strikes Again… Macavity: The Mystery Cat

A Young clone of my cat Tabitha…

Insert Tabitha for Macavity, and Eliot could have been describing my mysterious disappearing cat, Tabitha. But on the weekend it was definitely describing the nocturnal messes that my mum’s cat ‘Oscar’ is currently creating… Mum keeps offering Oscar to me, but I have enough trouble with Tabitha…

Macavity: The Mystery Cat

By T.S. Elliott

Macavity’s a Mystery Cat: he’s called the Hidden Paw—

For he’s the master criminal who can defy the Law.

He’s the bafflement of Scotland Yard, the Flying Squad’s despair:

For when they reach the scene of crime—Macavity’s not there!

Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,

He’s broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity.

His powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,

And when you reach the scene of crime—Macavity’s not there!

You may seek him in the basement, you may look up in the air—

But I tell you once and once again, Macavity’s not there!

Macavity’s a ginger cat, he’s very tall and thin;

You would know him if you saw him, for his eyes are sunken in.

His brow is deeply lined with thought, his head is highly domed;

His coat is dusty from neglect, his whiskers are uncombed.

He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a snake;

And when you think he’s half asleep, he’s always wide awake.

Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,

For he’s a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.

You may meet him in a by-street, you may see him in the square—

But when a crime’s discovered, then Macavity’s not there!

He’s outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)

And his footprints are not found in any file of Scotland Yard’s

And when the larder’s looted, or the jewel-case is rifled,

Or when the milk is missing, or another Peke’s been stifled,

Or the greenhouse glass is broken, and the trellis past repair

Ay, there’s the wonder of the thing! Macavity’s not there!

And when the Foreign Office find a Treaty’s gone astray,

Or the Admiralty lose some plans and drawings by the way,

There may be a scrap of paper in the hall or on the stair—

But it’s useless to investigate—Macavity’s not there!

And when the loss has been disclosed, the Secret Service say:

It must have been Macavity!’—but he’s a mile away.

You’ll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking of his thumb;

Or engaged in doing complicated long division sums.

Macavity, Macavity, there’s no one like Macavity,

There never was a Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.

He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare:

At whatever time the deed took place—MACAVITY WASN’T THERE !

And they say that all the Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known

(I might mention Mungojerrie, I might mention Griddlebone)

Are nothing more than agents for the Cat who all the time

Just controls their operations: the Napoleon of Crime!

And where are all these cat poems coming from Capt?

Well from a treasured book from my childhood that mum still has at home, and I happened to have a little read of it on the weekend when I called in to my mum’s. You might remember I re-blogged another of his classics a while ago, see https://captsavage.wordpress.com/2012/03/24/skimbleshanks-the-railway-cat-with-thanks-to-t-s-eliot/

Capt. Savage

(Becoming rather attached to his mischievous cat)

Cat Kisses – A Tale of Tabitha’s Tongue


This is the Kitten that’s being doing the Kissen, Tabitha, she of the very rough tongue…

Sandpaper kisses
On a cheek or a chin –
That is the way
for a day to begin!

Sandpaper kisses
A cuddle and a purr.
I have an alarm clock
That’s covered in fur!

Author Unknown

Capt. Savage

(I now know my place in the world, it’s to feed Tabitha and clean her litter tray)


kArMiC ChAlLeNgE wEeK 18, and now for something completely different!!!

If only I could do or arrange something as good as this…

But this week as has been dominated by myself, re-prioritisation, decisions, changes, mostly all to do with me. So how the heck does this help with my Karma quest?

Well it is kind of like a new beginning, a metaphorical wiping of the slate clean. And this journey has only just begun, and yes I know you shouldn’t start a sentence with And!!! But my days of drone like conformity are coming to an end. Gone is my tie (except when I really really have to), gone are commitments entered into because I thought they would make someone else happy. Not that this means that Capt. Savage has turned into a self-centred misogynist, egotist, elitist, narcissist (only when I’m looking in a mirror), pragmatist (ok this one is partly me), separatist, or even leftist lunatic (well maybe just a little bit), but I have decided that I am going to be less of a PleaseSomeoneElseTist.

And Yes, sometimes I was a shameless apologist…

NO MORE… I want to break free!!!

Maybe I’ll do it without cross-dressing, just maybe…

So now that my journey of change has begun, my hope is that wherever I end up at least one person will be happy, yep it’ll be me, and maybe my new pussycat.

Now what does the Dalai Lama have to say about gaining Karma? And I am fair dinkum Rose (excuse my Aussie), I am going to try to fit a fair few of these in from now on.

Instructions for Life by the Dalai Lama

  1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
  2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
  3. Follow the three R’s:
    – Respect for self,
    – Respect for others and
    – Responsibility for all your actions.
  4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
  5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
  6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
  7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
  8. Spend some time alone every day.
  9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
  10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
  11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and
    think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
  12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
  13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
  14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
  15. Be gentle with the earth.
  16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
  17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
  18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
  19. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
  20. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

Ask The Dalai Lama a Question

So Week 18 in Karma

Well the only good deed I really did for anyone else was rescuing my new pussycat ‘Tabitha’ from the RSPCA animal adoption centre. That included a very generous donation, joining the RSPCA, and a heap of accessories for Tabitha.

Girl on the right was the lovely person who sealed the deal between me and Tabitha

So according to Rose I deserve some points, maybe 5, because in Karmic terms this has been a pretty mediocre one. But I think for rescuing Tabitha, maybe this is fairer. Plus I made you and Miss M a lovely soup…

25 points, sound fair enough?

Over to you Rose, how did you do?

Capt. Savage

(Makes a mean vegetable soup, even if it’s straight from my mum’s cooking on a budget cookbook)

The pleasures of a Pussy (Cat)

What is more relaxing
Than sitting home alone?
Sitting on my sofa
With a cat to warm my bones!!!
This wonderful addition
To my quiet little place
Well she’s playful as a kitten
But when her purr begins to race
Its something between a buzz-saw
And a very loud V8
But I love my new-found fur-ball
Even though I’ve just found out
That I really do not own her
No, not the slightest bit
For she only uses me for food
And to tickle her while she sits

CS

20120723-213229.jpg