Karmic Hairiness here I come…

THE CHALLENGE. A man (Captain Savage – a man who is about to become less hairy). A woman (the beautiful Rose). A quest. To earn enough karmic points by Christmas to be reincarnated as Something Nice. Ok I think I’m back on track, maybe this week I could be a lemur, they seem to have so much fun…

Those tails are just so cute, and those orange eyes…

Well what has happened during Week 30?

This week has been a week of Savage achievement, well not for this particular Savage, but for the lovely and engaging little Miss J…  as her dad, I am just so proud…

My daughter has always been the apple of my eye, and I’m enormously proud of her, as I’m sure all fathers are, in a most one-eyed fashion. But this week is rather special for me in relation to Miss J. Every time I spend time with her I encourage her reading, I even bought her a Kindle and loaded it up with nearly 100 classic books (from the dead writers society, you know the free ones), plus also a lot of kids type books too.

Miss J took to reading like a duck to water and at first I read to her, then we read together, with me putting on silly character voices, now Miss J reads to me, and does a really good job of it too. And at 8 years of age she is reading books I didn’t read until I was much older. She is currently reading Moby Dick, and not the comic book version either.

No, this isn’t Miss J, but you get the idea…

Not only is she good at reading, she writes pretty well as well, much better than I do, at least so she tells me whenever she get the chance. She has already been a contributor to this blog, refer… The Crazy Dream, which was her first contribution.

Then there is her sometimes infuriating habit of being quicker than my calculator at working out mathematics… Nobody likes a smarty-pants Miss J…

This would be her if she had half a chance, up showing off…

So why are you so proud of Miss J this week?

Well this week my ex-wife received my daughter’s NAPLAN report from her school… And she (Miss J) did really good… Better than even I, as her ever proud daddy, could have hoped…

Say What Capt., Her what? report?

Her NAPLAN report, ok, well it’s The National Assessment Program – Literacy and Numeracy (NAPLAN) and is an annual assessment for students in Years 3, 5, 7 and 9. It is an everyday part of the school calendar and has been since 2008. NAPLAN tests the sorts of skills that are essential for every child to progress through school and life, such as reading, writing, spelling and numeracy.

Little Miss J has been assessed as being in the top 1% of kids of her age for reading, creative writing and mathematical ability, I was totally blown away…

And I am so proud of you Miss J

So now Miss J is being given opportunities for special tutoring and extra classes, and I know where she gets it from… Well I’ll keep telling myself that regardless Rose…

So I must be doing something right?

But there is one little white cloud on the sunny horizon for little Miss J, she is cursed like me with the same issues that I suffered from at school, and which made me sometimes be, to quote fake Roman, Mr Sporticus Clumsicus.

My parents often wondered how the hell I lived through my childhood sometimes. But I’m kind of hopeful that little Miss J can, just like I eventually did, learn to make the most of her limited sporting capacity. Yes I eventually made the school athletics and cross-country teams (I think they were desperate actually). I would also have made the curly-headed, shortsighted, nerd team too, but they didn’t want to own up to having that team at my school.

So what about Karma for this week Capt?

Well, obviously this week I want to be reincarnated as Miss J, and hopefully live a highly successful life as a child prodigy/genius…

But actually I think I have earned a few Karmic Coins from the fountain.

Here we go, a few coins in a very famous fountain…

I have added to my collection of Karmic Karma raising activities by once again becoming a MoBro…

A Mo-What Capt?

Well every year for the last 9 years I have been shaving my face clean on the 1st of November and then growing a variety of hairy caterpillars on my upper lip, yep, growing Moustaches for Movember.

Here are a couple of lovely examples of Movember Moustaches

And what is Movember about?

During November each year, Movember is responsible for the sprouting of moustaches on thousands of men’s faces in Australia and around the world. The aim of which is to raise vital funds and awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer and male mental health.

Registering at www.movember.com, guys then start Movember 1st with a clean-shaven face and then for the rest of the month, these selfless and generous men known as Mo Bros, groom, trim and wax their way into the annals of fine moustachery. Supported by the women in their lives, Mo Sistas, Movember Mo Bros raise funds by seeking out sponsorship for their Mo growing efforts.

Mo Bros effectively become walking, talking billboards for the 30 days of November and through their actions and words raise awareness by prompting private and public conversation around the often ignored issue of men’s health.

At the end of the month, Mo Bros and their female supporters (known as Mo Sistas) celebrate their gallantry and valor by either throwing their own Movember party or attending one of the infamous Gala Partés held around the world by Movember, for Movember.

Want to help me to raise money for Movember?

Well you can, I have just set up my fundraising page, still got to finish putting up info and arrange my own Movember events, but you are welcome to chip in and support men’s health. My Movember site is at http://mobro.co/TheSavageMO, check it out!!!

How has the Beautiful Rose gone, well in a Karmic Sense? (She’s been gone in a few other senses for a while now…)

Well Rose has been fully occupied with lots and lots of things, all which are earning her mountains of Karma. She has taken her son, the incredibly debonair and intelligent (intimidatingly) Mr F, on an expedition to the beautiful Blue Mountains (where else would someone as beautiful as Rose go?).

The Three Sisters in the Blue Mountains

Rose has been doing wonderful things with the gorgeous and delightfully cheeky (shows no respect for us adults at all) Miss M.

She has also been doing heaps and heaps for her family…

As well as cleaning her house and getting it all fixed up too…

Let’s just admit it, Rose has been a very busy little vegemite!!!

See a Happy Little Vegemite, even has Rosy cheeks Rose…

So Week 30, what’s the score?

Well I’ll leave that up to the delicious Rose, what do you reckon I should put in for our scores?

Week No. Week Ending Rose’s Weekly Tally Rose’s Running Total Capt’s Weekly Tally Capt’s Running Total
15

4/07/2012

200

406

50

205

16

11/07/2012

10

416

15

220

17

18/07/2012

10

426

20

240

18

25/07/2012

5

431

25

265

19

1/08/2012

5

436

20

285

20

8/08/2012

10

446

25

310

21

15/08/2012

15

461

30

340

22

22/08/2012

1

462

15

355

23

29/08/2012

1

463

15

370

24

5/09/2012

1

464

15

385

25

12/09/2012

1

465

15

400

26

19/09/2012

1

466

15

415

27

26/09/2012

1

467

15

430

28

3/10/2012

1

468

15

445

29

10/10/2012

1

469

5

450

30

17/10/2012

?

#VALUE!

?

#VALUE!

Come on Rose, what’s the score?

Capt. Savage

Soon to be hairy lipped (Moustached)

Help me pick my Movember style below…




Come on Girls… Bring it on…

She knows how to make the first move.

Ok Girls, Why don’t YOU make the FIRST move for a change?

Ok, I’m a guy (hard to believe I know Rose), but I’m here to tell you that it’s a real shot in the arm, when a woman shows blatant signs of interest in me. It’s kind of like finding a brand-new bicycle under the tree on Christmas morning. I may have wanted it so bad, but dared not say anything, especially since I’m middle-aged, and still living in my mom’s basement (well maybe not really, but you get the idea), and with no friends other than a couple of acquaintances from dating sites (failed dates). That bike under the tree was like a seductress. It was painted red, had lots of gears and expensive bits, it reeked of maleness (well maybe the lycra clad type).

Here is my cycling god, Fabian Cancellara, stubble, gritty, looks just like me…

I was exhilarated the first time I took her out on the town. I rode her proudly getting envious looks from all the other blokes. Did I care that I did nothing to get this new ride? Did I get all upset and tell the person who let me have the bike and throw my leg over it that I was too proud to accept it? Not a chance…

My idea of a sexy girl on a bike

And the point to this story?

There is an assumption that people who put out too easily, especially women on the first date, won’t be appreciated or respected (and may they are sluts).

However, is really a valid basis to form rules for sexual attraction? According to recent statistics (on a blog I found somewhere), six per cent of women approach men lustily for sex on the first or second date. Of this six per cent, over 60 per cent are successful. In other words, over half of those cute guys actually say yes (and loved it).

Okay, now let’s look at this from a different perspective.

A typical woman, who takes on the role as a ‘lady in waiting,’ has only a 33 per cent chance of getting into the pants of a guy. Incidentally, the guy, may or may not be all that cute. Statistics show that for every guy who asks a woman out, only one-third will even be of moderate interest to her. In other words, he may not be a wealthy, a gallant knight in a shiny Porsche, but he will at least have a dull, rusty, two-wheel scooter with a backseat (or in my case a new VW), and enough money for a dinner and a movie.

SO my thoughts girls, why not make the first move, especially when there is someone, in particular, you would like to get in bed with. The catch is, you can’t appear desperate.

Here’s what I think you should do…

Just ask hit on the guy if you fancy him, I personally am sick and tired of almost always having to be the initiator. If you are attracted to someone, why not just come on to them? If they are a bit shy or reluctant (like me), they may actually like it… And if it doesn’t work out, maybe that’s a good thing, then you know where you stand without doing the dating game and living in hope.

And why go cold after the first date or so? Why is it always me who has to push? I know that women of my generation seem to feel it’s the guys role, but it’s the 21st Century, GET OVER IT!!! Some of us blokes are shy, are scared of making the move, are worried about rejection, and would really appreciate that special person (potentially) hitting on us.

Why not take on the ‘male’ role guys, equal pay, equal work I say…


Why not make that first move on the shy guy?

I reckon asking a guy on a date would be easy if you give him (or me) the idea (or pretending it was his idea), and then letting him follow through with it. For instance:

You: “I’m thinking about going watching that a DVD at my place this weekend.”

Me: “That sounds great.”

You: “Why don’t you come over, it’s one of those Jason Bourne movies and I love action films, don’t you too?”

Him: “Sure, I’ll come around eight.”

Then all you have to do is take the initiative, make sure that one thing leads to another and, BINGO, next thing I’m making you toast and coffee the next morning…

Come on girls; why not use your weapons… You might be surprised… It’s far easier for you to hook us than us to hook you…

So Girls, am I barking up the wrong tree?

Or are you be willing be the one to make the first move?

Capt. Savage

(Sick and tired of having to be the fox, I’d love to be hunted just once in a while)

Teenage Depression and Signs of Teenage Depression

Reblogged from Teenage Depression and Signs of Teenage Depression.

What is Depression in Teenagers?

Have you ever experienced teenage depression? Do you know the signs of teenage depression?

Almost without exception, teenagers go through periods of being moody and antisocial. You may think that life sucks.

Is Your Teenage Life an Exception?

I was not an exception. I was sometimes really stupid. Sometimes up and sometimes down. No, it was not a teen depression, it was an ordinary teenage life. I loved my parents but sometimes I hated them. Sometimes I felt that nobody could understand me. Sometimes I was alone. Sometimes I thought that life sucks. Sometimes I was convinced that nobody could understand me.

Signs of teenage depression

Teenage Depression

Frankly to say, it is very difficult to spot the difference between what is normal teen mood and what is teenage depression. The most recent statistics show that about 20 percent of teens (every fifth) will experience teen depression and about 5 percent of teenagers are suffering from major depression.

In addition, a considerable percent of you have a false belief about having depression. See some examples among the teenage posts.

How can we describe a Teenager of healthy Psyche?

  • Having ideals, paragons who are worth to follow
  • Having plans to change the world
  • Having dreams about the future
  • Being in love
  • Having problem with the parents
  • Having problem with authorities
  • Being interested in music and dance
  • Open-minded
  • having a lot of conversations about the great questions
  • Wishing to know everything
  • Feeling that life is a challenge
  • Being sometimes up and sometimes down
  • Take the Mental Health Test to see your mental wellbeing

“The human soul has still greater need of the ideal than of the real. It is by the real that we exist; it is by the ideal that we live.” – Victor Hugo

Why are you reblogging this Capt? 

A concerned parent, we’ve all been there…

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine. She is really concerned about her daughter who is having some trouble at school. I think she (her daughter) is a lovely girl, intelligent, witty, beautiful (just like her mum). What this friend said to me made me reflect on my own teenage years, made me think about what it’s like to be a teenager, and I came across this blog which I thought had lots of very useful advice.

The main thing that I began to realise from my little bit of research (and common sense) is that there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ or ‘model’ teenager. We unfortunately have a tendency to stereotype, to pigeonhole, to classify, often based on incorrect information from well-meaning (but unqualified or biased individuals). This free advice is typically from school counsellors or chaplains (with little or no formal training in mental health related issues), from relatives, friends, and worst of all frustrated ex-husbands or former or current boyfriends.

Do I think my friend’s daughter has a problem?

Well maybe, but it’s not life threatening, it’s growing up, its dealing with life’s challenges, it can be hard, but I think the trouble with what my friend is being told is (mostly by staff at her school and do-gooder’s with their own problems), just as Victor Hugo said “The human soul has still greater need of the ideal than of the real. It is by the real that we exist; it is by the ideal that we live.”

I think all too often we strive for the ideal, but we forget about what is real, we forget that we are all human, we expect conformity when in reality its our lack of conformity that makes as individuals, makes us special, makes us who we are.

So my advice to my friend?

I think she should stick with it, persist and continue to give support, give hugs, and recognise (as she does) that her daughter is going through a challenging phase (I won’t say just, that would be patronising).  From what I can see she may be just a bit more mentally mature than her peers, perhaps not interested in what they are interested in, and that this may come from my friend, because she treats her daughter as she is, a brilliant little rough cut diamond just waiting to be polished.

Capt. Savage

A roughcut diamond just waiting to be cut and polished

Platonic – by Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I knew it the first of the summer,
I knew it the same at the end,
That you and your love were plighted,
But couldn’t you be my friend?
Couldn’t we sit in the twilight,
Couldn’t we walk on the shore
With only a pleasant friendship
To bind us, and nothing more?

There was not a word of folly
Spoken between us two,
Though we lingered oft in the garden
Till the roses were wet with dew.
We touched on a thousand subjects—
The moon and the worlds above,—
And our talk was tinctured with science,
And everything else, save love.

A wholly Platonic friendship
You said I had proven to you
Could bind a man and a woman
The whole long season through,
With never a thought of flirting,
Though both were in their youth
What would you have said, my lady,
If you had known the truth!

What would you have done, I wonder,
Had I gone on my knees to you
And told you my passionate story,
There in the dusk and the dew?
My burning, burdensome story,
Hidden and hushed so long—
My story of hopeless loving—
Say, would you have thought it wrong?

But I fought with my heart and conquered,
I hid my wound from sight;
You were going away in the morning,
And I said a calm good-night.
But now when I sit in the twilight,
Or when I walk by the sea
That friendship, quite Platonic,
Comes surging over me.

And a passionate longing fills me
For the roses, the dusk, the dew;
For the beautiful summer vanished,
For the moonlight walks—and you.

CS

Empty Nest

Reblogged from Trailertrashdeluxe’s Blog:


A haunting song by Chris Isaak‘s, Blue Spanish Skys…

Empty Nest

Posted on July 6, 2012


The world will end in three days
,
The moving van will be pulled up,
The walk-in closet will empty,
I’ll sit with my gold wedding cup.

The kids have all moved to the city,
The laughs and the heartaches are gone,
The space, just a void there between us,
No more of the sweet touch at dawn.

The world will end in three days,
She has a new place of her own,
I’ll drink cyanide with my nightcap,
And be gone, before dawn, all alone.

Now I know this post is probably fiction, done in response to a challenge at http://www.trifectawritingchallenge.com/2012/07/trifextra-week-twenty-three.html 

But regardless it made me think about my own separation and divorce, although in my case I left rather than she left. But in reality the marriage and relationship had been broken for some time and it was just that I acted first before she did.

So TrailerTrash, a very moving poem, and it made me think of this very haunting song by Chris Isaak’s “Blue Spanish Sky”, which contains some really nice lyrics reflective of your own thoughts. In my case what I miss most is my children and the comfort of having a family.

The moment I finally walked out was in a way a release from sadness, as for so many months before I left I had been unhappy and feeling so alone. It was made more difficult because I felt I had to keep up the performance, i.e. appear to be the happy family man, when in fact my heart was broken. The confused look on my kid’s faces when I left said it all to me.

Great post TrailerTrash, thanks for sharing.

CS
(BTW I am now learning how to play this song on my guitar, and I know my daughter will HATE it when I play it to her in September, but who cares, I love it)

I don’t know why I didn’t come…

I’ve been lolling around my unit this morning, doing some washing and listening to music, when the random selection on my computer threw up this number. It got me thinking about a few things, as did a recent blog from my dear friend Rose. Her mother has just passed, and whilst it’s sad, it made me realise that, just as she wrote, how wonderful it is to look back and celebrate the lives of those we love, see http://butimbeautiful.wordpress.com/2012/07/06/farewell-to-the-loveliest-of-mothers/

All too often I think we dwell on the bad things, the things that irritate us, and forget to celebrate and enjoy the good bits while our loved ones are still with us. It’s so easy to bitch about things and point out someone’s faults. For some reason it is often so much harder to reach out to someone and tell them how much you care about them, how much they mean to you.

But for those close to us, such as our families and dear friends, there should be no reservation, no fear.

Rose’s mum was a beautiful, caring and kind person, just as my mum is and always will be to me.

Bravo Rose for celebrating your mum’s life and her impact on you and your family, and sharing it with us.

And why did you choose this particular song Capt? Well It says something about what I should have done last Friday, flowers are no substitute for being there, and I am sorry I missed the chance to say goodbye to someone really special, and being there for a very dear friend…

Capt. Savage

Karma and a week lost in a very wet paradise

What Noosa Main Beach is supposed to look like…

In search of Karma on the Sunshine Coast with my kids and the master Karma Collector Rose

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”
Dalai Lama XIV

I have just come back from a very wet week at what normally is a beach paradise, namely the Sunshine Coast of Queensland. Every 3 months I make a pilgrimage up to visit my kids who now live in Queensland with my ex-wife. Generally it’s a pleasant trip, with warm or hot days, lots of time spent at the beach, it’s quite simply a week usually spent in paradise.

So you get used to believing the advertising campaigns, where Queensland is described as ‘beautiful one day and perfect the next’, I went through this in my last post ‘good weather for ducks‘, so I won’t go back over old ground. But my last post was on the Tuesday of last week. Well it didn’t really stop raining until I pack everything up and drove my kids back to their mother’s place on Friday.

However regardless of the weather my kids had heaps of fun, as did I, and I believe so did Rose too (with the kids anyway). Also being stuck inside gave me plenty of chances to practice my new vice, namely playing the guitar, or at least torturing others while I practice.

Jade ‘enjoying’ my guitar playing

So how about Karma Capt?

Well I have to admit I felt like I was collecting Karma by the bucket load with the smiles coming from the kids, mostly Miss J who simply loved jumping in the water, mostly the heated spa however, Mr B is made of stronger stuff and stoically insisted in jumping into the pool. Now this was supposed to be a heated pool, but I think that as in my previous post the heating was simply there to melt the larger icebergs.

But the one who deserves all of the Karma is Rose. While she mostly avoided the pool whenever possible, she definitely is not in the slightest bit Eskimo, she did force a smile and put up with most of everything my kids chucked at her. Only on one or two occasions did she have to escape, one of those was her epic expedition to Noosa Heads (walking), but I think that she may actually have been escaping me and my damn guitar.

She also gave up a week with her kids, her animals, and even (god forbid) blogging mostly… She was starting to be a bit strung out by the end of the week, like a drug addict going cold turkey. And I must also mention that for almost the whole week before our epic trip she had the worst case of Lurgi, and was still swallowing buckets of antibiotics and generally rattling round like a pill bottle when we drove up to Queensland.

SO A BIG THANK YOU TO YOU ROSE – Maybe 100 Points… what do you think.

Rose and Miss J in the heated spa… where was I, well with the polar bears in the pool with my eskimo son Mr B…

For me, well I think I deserve some points, but they are my kids, so I suppose being nice to them isn’t too much of an effort.

And I should get some points for giving my ex-wife a kid free week to spend surrounded by washing and the other bi-products of having 3 kids to look after. I’m imagining her crumpled in a corner breathing heavy sighs of relief and perhaps slipping off for a quick massage somewhere, or god forbid getting a sleep-in.

So maybe I could get 25 points for spending the week with them?

This week however has been a bit of a disaster work-wise for me…

I have been a bit sleep deprived, my kids have been working me over, tag team wrestling style. My daughter likes to read before going to sleep, but I suspect it’s actually a tactic to get daddy to let her stay up later. Most nights she doesn’t get to sleep until well after 10pm. Then Mr J, my little downs boy, well he just LOVES waking up at around 4-4.30am every morning… So I think on my best night I got maybe 5 hours sleep. Now I can’t complain, my kids are a pretty happy lot, and don’t grumble (much), they are actually pretty easy-going (just like me).

Here is a stock picture of someone practicing my new work appreciation technique

So this week I got back to work and pretty much sat in my office looking absent mindedly at people, and pretending to be awake. On Tuesday morning it all caught up with me and I slept in (badly). The only reason I woke up was that another member of my team rang me on my mobile to say they weren’t coming into work. The call finally raised me from my zombie like, living dead state, and nearly fell out of bed when I saw the time. I then had to drag myself into work to face the music from my boss (arrogantus on steriodicus), who practically handed me a leave form.

Will I go back to the ‘Sunshine Coast’ again? Or will I take Queensland to court for false advertising?

Well of course I will, as the song says, ‘2 out of 3 ain’t bad’, and the previous 2 visits had been just fantastic. Even this visit was fun if wet, I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed getting soaking wet more, nor jumped in as many puddles.

Will Rose ever accompany me on one of these expeditions again?

To be honest I have no idea, but I SO appreciated her help and company, that I’d pay her to come next time. But at least if I take anybody else with me to help, I now have the gold standard to compare to… Thanks Rose you are a STAR.

In September the kids are coming down to visit me, and I’m going to take them somewhere where I am hoping it’s also cold and wet, but at least it will be my choice and it will involve snow hopefully next time. At Christmas I am planning to take them back to the Sunshine Coast, when I am sure it’s paradise status will be restored. Plus in Sept when the kids come to my place I may be able to persuade Rose to jump in the pool with the kids again, or perhaps visit the beach with them, if I am a really good boy, just maybe…

Capt. Savage

(Slightly sleep deprived, but still a happy chappy, or maybe just feeling crappy for being back at work…)