Is there a right way to end things?

Personally I’ve haven’t found one yet, and god I wish some of the women who have dumped me had that magic ‘gentle’ way to call it quits. For me however, it always jumps up and slaps me in the face, or I find myself slapping them in the face no matter how much I try to do it otherwise. Somehow endings for me always end up like some cheap movie script, with an evil bad guy and there is always an innocent victim…

So how have people ended it with you Capt?

This brings me onto another Top 10 list… And yes, I know it’s surprising Rose that 10 women have rolled my particular set of dice, of course this is assuming they all were women (god if only my life was that interesting). Some of these breakups may have happened to me, but I’ll let you be the judge.

So let’s me count down my top 10 breakups, starting at 10

10. Getting it via email… God I hate that… or worse still via bloody Facebook, and yes someone did end it with me by FB, but maybe I shouldn’t have announced that we were an item on FB in the first place. Guess I removed the deniability factor, and that apparently scared the crap out of them.

9. Tell me that I’m crap in the sack, now this may have some truth in it, but don’t tell everyone else about my lack of sexual prowess before you bother to mention it to me. Hasn’t anyone heard of natural justice…

8. Decide that the best way to get rid of me is to start cheating on me, and then have it off with another bloke in the back room of the café that we were partners in, and the operative word was WERE… That’s why I hate men who are good with languages, or in his case he was a pretty cunning linguist… at least that’s what he was practicing I think, in the backroom with my ex…

7. ‘”Do you want the good news or the bad news… ” Seriously, that is NOT how to tell someone its over.

6. Just leave one day and never come back, it would have been ok if you’d paid the bills and used a real name for the utilities account, instead of Zaphod Beeblebrox. Yep, someone I shared a place with actually persuaded people to connect up the gas, electricity and phone, using Zaphod as an alias (in case you don’t know who I mean, he was a character in Douglas Adams‘ ‘Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe’. The picture above is Zaphod with the ultimate in plastic surgery, yep he wanted an extra head…

5. “So, the good news is, it’s treatable with antibiotics… “Finding out that you just got something horrible from your lover generally does it for me, no words required.

4. Nothing says “we’re over” like a good old-fashioned brawl in the middle of a family BBQ. Bring a chair… words hurt, but broken bones hurt more.

3. A bloody singing telegram… And yes I am old enough to remember (and have received) a telegram. Although, honestly, this was probably the worst way to deliver any message.

2. Leave a voicemail message on their answering machine, not fair, and then disconnect your phone so that I can’t call you… Oh, and of course move out, all at the same time… I suppose I should thank you, at least it made hating you a lot easier.

1. Ok, so here is something that’s novel, you could actually try being mature and tell me that you just don’t feel the same anymore. There is literally nothing as soul-crushing as the truth I can tell you. Also, it leaves me wondering what game you’re trying to play with my head, god honesty it’s just unheard of. Voila! You’ve ruined my love life for a good 8 months or so!

So what is the worst way that someone has broken up with you?

Capt. Savage

(Zaphod, and if I ever find you…)

Karma Karma Karma, maybe if I say it enough, it will come?

Maybe my quest for Karma is a mad as the plot in this Kevin Costner film? 

Costner’s character builds a baseball field in the middle of a corn fields, his character’s corn field, all the while he is being visited by the ghosts of long dead American baseball heroes (note Rose, they were all males). The tag line from the movie was ‘if you build it they will come’. So now I’m wondering, if Rose and I do good deeds will the Karma actually come???

A Week 11 Poem (why not)

So Rose, to reinvigorate our aims

Here’s my week 11 state of the game

Now according to the Dalai Lama

There are rules to follow to gather Karma

Not that I’ve always followed rules

Not even when I went to school

My mum and dad used to despair

You see I wasn’t always a cuddly bear

My friends they also thought me a pain

Or maybe just a bit insane

But never mind what they all thought

I really wasn’t too bad a sort

But lately I have realised my bad

It’s made me feel a little sad

So Karma gathering, now that’s my aim

Just maybe I’ll never be the same

So thank you Rose, for this fine quest

Let’s see which one of us does the best

But just to clarify our aims

The score points, well it’s not the game

You see self-improvement, now that’s the goal

To do otherwise won’t help our souls!!!

 

Here are the Dalai Lama’s rules for Karma gathering

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R’s: – Respect for self, – Respect for others and – Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
20. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.

(Refer to http://www.spiritualnow.com/articles/25/1/20-Ways-to-Get-Good-Karma/Page1.html/)

Plus apparently you can ask the Dalai Lama questions using the link below, just in case the totally insightful advice from Rose and I just isn’t enough for you! (go figure Rose)

Ask The Dalai Lama a Question (go on I dare you)

Now where was I?

Oh that’s right, week 11 and the score…

The last few weeks have been a bit of a blur, I’ve been busy doing everything EXCEPT focussing on gathering Karma. I’ve also neglected my blogs, my Facebook page, my Twitter account, my life has kind of been full of well, LIFE, you know, that physical stuff that happens OUTSIDE of my apartment/flat/unit/appartamento/appartement (relevant word depends on where in the world you live). So last week I went out with my bestie Rose to listen to a guitarist/songwriter, this is my Facebook post (and no I won’t put in the link, I’m trying to stay anonymous)

My Facebook post…

“I went to a new venue in Canberra I’ve never been to before, Smiths Alternative Bookshop in the city with my best friend Rose, it was an interesting night with dinner at a little bar/restaurant in Alinga St (can’t even remember its name) and then to the bookshop for a session with a guitarist/singer/songwriter called Brendan Gallagher, you can check him out at http://www.brendangallagher.com.au/fr_home.cfm, was a pretty laid back night, not what I had planned, but great guitar work and Brendan did 2 sets filled in with a running conversational style about himself and his music. Not a bad way to spend the evening.

Yes Rose and I were (TaDa) — at Smiths Alternative Bookshop

And here is a picture of Brendan (he looked a lot rougher on the night)

The interesting coincidence in picking this show was that Brendan also fronts a band called Karma County, now that’s a Karmic coincidence, and he played a few of his Karma County songs on the night. So we, Rose and I, ended up collecting Karma (musically) without even knowing it. If you visit the website you can opt to listen to some of Brendan’s songs as they play in an endless loop while you are visiting his website.

Actually the weekend was spent gathering Karma, I took two women out (very nice of me) apart from enjoying the company of the blogoliscuous Rose, that’s got to be worth points (them putting up with me).

So it was a good weekend overall? Well yes it was, I spoke to my daughter, that always cheers me up no end. I would have spoken to my mum as well, but she has managed to break her hearing aids, and here I was thinking how rude of mum not answering her phone on the weekend.

 

Maybe mum needs a set of these?

Now Rose and I are about to disappear to visit the snow fields, which is quite a quest for Australia (not a very snowy country). And I must point out it’s not for our own benefit, but for her daughter and her friend. We of course won’t enjoy it one bit (not half)… Rose I believe, intends to stay indoors, stay warm, read, lay about and generally do a human interpretation of a vegetable (couldn’t be a cow, cause she doesn’t eat meat, plus, well she just isn’t one).

Me? Well I’m tempted to wander outside and see the wildlife at the ski resort (mostly women wrapped in layers of furry stuff I think). Plus there is talk that the two of us may venture out one night and continue our quest for dating mediocrity or our endless search for rejection.

 

Yep, I know, it’s such an easy quest, I just ask a question of a girl and chances are…

So how in Karma did we do???

 

Note that on Week 8, I gave Rose bonus points because she spoiled me rotten for my birthday (and I loved it). Me, well I think I’ve reach 100 (is that fair Rose?). Some may say, a sweet guy like me should get points just for breathing, but maybe I’ve been looking in the mirror too much (ego is not a dirty word).

(Ego is not a dirty word, classic Aussie band Skyhooks from 1975)

And Yes Rose, I have turned the page, back to weekly Karma posts, back to chasing Rejections, back to the blogosphere and my virtual existence…

Capt. Savage (Been out in the real world and it scared the bejesus out of me)

Woman takes life while chatting on Facebook, no one calls police

Woman takes life while chatting on Facebook, no one calls police.

This is so tragic!! That someone didn’t act or notify anyone. But I suppose it’s just part of the social disconnect of the digital age. What do the rest of you think? I personally would have called the police or emergency services while continuing to try and talk them out of it.

 

Capt. Savage

(concerned  observer)