Karmic Hairiness here I come…

THE CHALLENGE. A man (Captain Savage – a man who is about to become less hairy). A woman (the beautiful Rose). A quest. To earn enough karmic points by Christmas to be reincarnated as Something Nice. Ok I think I’m back on track, maybe this week I could be a lemur, they seem to have so much fun…

Those tails are just so cute, and those orange eyes…

Well what has happened during Week 30?

This week has been a week of Savage achievement, well not for this particular Savage, but for the lovely and engaging little Miss J…  as her dad, I am just so proud…

My daughter has always been the apple of my eye, and I’m enormously proud of her, as I’m sure all fathers are, in a most one-eyed fashion. But this week is rather special for me in relation to Miss J. Every time I spend time with her I encourage her reading, I even bought her a Kindle and loaded it up with nearly 100 classic books (from the dead writers society, you know the free ones), plus also a lot of kids type books too.

Miss J took to reading like a duck to water and at first I read to her, then we read together, with me putting on silly character voices, now Miss J reads to me, and does a really good job of it too. And at 8 years of age she is reading books I didn’t read until I was much older. She is currently reading Moby Dick, and not the comic book version either.

No, this isn’t Miss J, but you get the idea…

Not only is she good at reading, she writes pretty well as well, much better than I do, at least so she tells me whenever she get the chance. She has already been a contributor to this blog, refer… The Crazy Dream, which was her first contribution.

Then there is her sometimes infuriating habit of being quicker than my calculator at working out mathematics… Nobody likes a smarty-pants Miss J…

This would be her if she had half a chance, up showing off…

So why are you so proud of Miss J this week?

Well this week my ex-wife received my daughter’s NAPLAN report from her school… And she (Miss J) did really good… Better than even I, as her ever proud daddy, could have hoped…

Say What Capt., Her what? report?

Her NAPLAN report, ok, well it’s The National Assessment Program – Literacy and Numeracy (NAPLAN) and is an annual assessment for students in Years 3, 5, 7 and 9. It is an everyday part of the school calendar and has been since 2008. NAPLAN tests the sorts of skills that are essential for every child to progress through school and life, such as reading, writing, spelling and numeracy.

Little Miss J has been assessed as being in the top 1% of kids of her age for reading, creative writing and mathematical ability, I was totally blown away…

And I am so proud of you Miss J

So now Miss J is being given opportunities for special tutoring and extra classes, and I know where she gets it from… Well I’ll keep telling myself that regardless Rose…

So I must be doing something right?

But there is one little white cloud on the sunny horizon for little Miss J, she is cursed like me with the same issues that I suffered from at school, and which made me sometimes be, to quote fake Roman, Mr Sporticus Clumsicus.

My parents often wondered how the hell I lived through my childhood sometimes. But I’m kind of hopeful that little Miss J can, just like I eventually did, learn to make the most of her limited sporting capacity. Yes I eventually made the school athletics and cross-country teams (I think they were desperate actually). I would also have made the curly-headed, shortsighted, nerd team too, but they didn’t want to own up to having that team at my school.

So what about Karma for this week Capt?

Well, obviously this week I want to be reincarnated as Miss J, and hopefully live a highly successful life as a child prodigy/genius…

But actually I think I have earned a few Karmic Coins from the fountain.

Here we go, a few coins in a very famous fountain…

I have added to my collection of Karmic Karma raising activities by once again becoming a MoBro…

A Mo-What Capt?

Well every year for the last 9 years I have been shaving my face clean on the 1^st of November and then growing a variety of hairy caterpillars on my upper lip, yep, growing Moustaches for Movember.

Here are a couple of lovely examples of Movember Moustaches

And what is Movember about?

During November each year, Movember is responsible for the sprouting of moustaches on thousands of men’s faces in Australia and around the world. The aim of which is to raise vital funds and awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer and male mental health.

Registering at www.movember.com, guys then start Movember 1st with a clean-shaven face and then for the rest of the month, these selfless and generous men known as Mo Bros, groom, trim and wax their way into the annals of fine moustachery. Supported by the women in their lives, Mo Sistas, Movember Mo Bros raise funds by seeking out sponsorship for their Mo growing efforts.

Mo Bros effectively become walking, talking billboards for the 30 days of November and through their actions and words raise awareness by prompting private and public conversation around the often ignored issue of men’s health.

At the end of the month, Mo Bros and their female supporters (known as Mo Sistas) celebrate their gallantry and valor by either throwing their own Movember party or attending one of the infamous Gala Partés held around the world by Movember, for Movember.

Want to help me to raise money for Movember?

Well you can, I have just set up my fundraising page, still got to finish putting up info and arrange my own Movember events, but you are welcome to chip in and support men’s health. My Movember site is at http://mobro.co/TheSavageMO, check it out!!!

How has the Beautiful Rose gone, well in a Karmic Sense? (She’s been gone in a few other senses for a while now…)

Well Rose has been fully occupied with lots and lots of things, all which are earning her mountains of Karma. She has taken her son, the incredibly debonair and intelligent (intimidatingly) Mr F, on an expedition to the beautiful Blue Mountains (where else would someone as beautiful as Rose go?).

The Three Sisters in the Blue Mountains

Rose has been doing wonderful things with the gorgeous and delightfully cheeky (shows no respect for us adults at all) Miss M.

She has also been doing heaps and heaps for her family…

As well as cleaning her house and getting it all fixed up too…

Let’s just admit it, Rose has been a very busy little vegemite!!!

See a Happy Little Vegemite, even has Rosy cheeks Rose…

So Week 30, what’s the score?

Well I’ll leave that up to the delicious Rose, what do you reckon I should put in for our scores?

Week No.	Week Ending	Rose’s Weekly Tally	Rose’s Running Total	Capt’s Weekly Tally	Capt’s Running Total
15	4/07/2012	200	406	50	205
16	11/07/2012	10	416	15	220
17	18/07/2012	10	426	20	240
18	25/07/2012	5	431	25	265
19	1/08/2012	5	436	20	285
20	8/08/2012	10	446	25	310
21	15/08/2012	15	461	30	340
22	22/08/2012	1	462	15	355
23	29/08/2012	1	463	15	370
24	5/09/2012	1	464	15	385
25	12/09/2012	1	465	15	400
26	19/09/2012	1	466	15	415
27	26/09/2012	1	467	15	430
28	3/10/2012	1	468	15	445
29	10/10/2012	1	469	5	450
30	17/10/2012	?	#VALUE!	?	#VALUE!

Come on Rose, what’s the score?

Capt. Savage

Soon to be hairy lipped (Moustached)

Help me pick my Movember style below…

Related articles

• The Capt. Hits the Karmic Accelerator… Week 29 on Steriods… And no concerns about anti-doping tests (captsavage.wordpress.com)
• Karmic Better Late Than Never Post… Week?? (captsavage.wordpress.com)

The Capt. Hits the Karmic Accelerator… Week 29 on Steriods… And no concerns about anti-doping tests

THE CHALLENGE. A man (Captain Savage – a man with a Pink heart). A woman (Rose). A quest. To earn enough karmic points by Christmas to be reincarnated as Something Nice. Ok so maybe I’ve been a bit slack, but now I’m seeing Pink…

Ah Rose, you are such an inspiration to me…

Let me count the ways…

Well there is Mr. L, who you visit and who is now enjoying see you much more since the weather is allowing you to wear clothing that reveals more of Rosy-ness, see Week 27 – Wear a Low Cut Dress for Jesus!, for more sordid details. And I know what a trial Mr. L can be for you, just cast your mind back to… The Karmic Challenge – Week 19′s Bloodthirsty Pensioner Strikes Again!! .

Then there are the many causes you support such as the two kids you sponsor, see kounting-the-karma for details. Let’s also not forget the lovely old lady you visited prior to Mr. L.

Then of course there are your many animal causes, such as your recent ‘Anti Live Sheep Exports’ activities.

Rose joined the throng (mostly women I noticed), protesting violently (in the rain)

Also, there is the food you generously gave to the Cat Lady (the women who refused to part with one of her pussies to me), see Karmic Challenge – the Second Week! With lots and lots of pussy tails (and the rest of the cats as well).

Too be honest there are just too many Karmic efforts Rose for me to count them all, last but not least is your preservation and support of glue factory candidates, i.e. your own lovely little Clipsie, who you bought for your daughter to ride from someone who forgot to tell you she was blind. Many other people would have done otherwise, but you kept her, and are still making sure she is looked after.

Here is Clipsie with the divine Miss M and one of her friends

SO Rose, where will all this Karma take you? What reincarnation awaits you?

———————————————-

Well Capt, How about your Karmic struggle this week?

The other day I started to think about how fortunate I am to be alive, I know that sounds a bit morbid, but quite a few friends, relatives of friends, and members of my family, have been taken by the big “C” (Cancer).

SO this week I decided to burn rubber on my side of the Karmic Challenge…

So when someone suggested the idea of running a Pink Ribbon Breakfast, I leapt at the idea, well not the Breakfast bit, I like getting into work after breakfast, not for breakfast. So I decided that a morning tea would be better, so at the moment I am madly running around my workplace arranging a venue and people to make things for the morning tea.

Maybe this is something people will be munching at my Pink Ribbon Morning Tea…

Ok, so what is Pink Ribbon Day all about?

National Pink Ribbon Day is the major fund-raising activity of the National Breast Cancer Foundation in Australia. People can buy pins, badges, wristbands or just donate money to support cancer research.

Who does the money go to?

To the National Breast Cancer Foundation (NBCF) who are the leading community-funded organisation in Australia raising money for research into the prevention and cure of breast cancer. The NBCF works with the public and other sponsors to raise funds and to support cancer research.

Since the NBCF was established in 1994, $81 million has been awarded to fund over 300 Australian-based research projects across every state and territory to improve the health and wellbeing of those affected by breast cancer.

Their goal is to achieve zero death from breast cancer by 2030. With 38 Australians diagnosed each day and eight losing their battle, there is still much to do.

(Note it’s a Morning Tea not a Breakfast)

My Aim is?

To raise $1,000 for the National Breast Cancer Foundation (at a minimum). You can support my Morning Tea by making donations at… Support Capt. Savage’s Pink Ribbon Day Morning Tea

Yep, there will be plenty of clinking of cups and saucers at my Pink Ribbon Day Morning Tea…

What other Karmic Efforts have you made this week Capt?

Well, almost inspired by Rose, I’ve decided to do my best to support a horse event, well actually more accurately I’ve volunteered to help run a Melbourne Cup luncheon.

OK, so what is the Melbourne Cup?

The Melbourne cup is the horse race that practically stops a nation (Australia if you hadn’t guessed). You can get more details at this Melbourne Cup link.

Here are a couple of likely candidates riding in the Melbourne Cup last year…

I’m not sure that Rose will actually approve of this little effort, as it’s probably more about exploitation of horses than supporting them, but you never know, maybe she’ll join me at the luncheon on the day? Chicken and Champagne anyone?

So Rose, why don’t we make the target 750 points by Christmas, are you game enough?

Well I haven’t compared notes with Rose, but given our collective scores I think we need to bump the target. Because surely Rose you are already inline to be reincarnated as the woman who won the lottery, or married Bill Gates (but a hairier, more muscular, less nerdy version, but still EXTREMELY rich). I can picture you now, living out your days on your idyllic country retreat, surrounded by cuddly animals, and lots and lots of grandkids… (this concept probably would scare the pants off Miss M I think).

So What is the Karmic Tally for this week?

Week No.	Week Ending	Rose’s Weekly Tally	Rose’s Running Total	Capt’s Weekly Tally	Capt’s Running Total
15	4/07/2012	200	406	50	205
16	11/07/2012	10	416	15	220
17	18/07/2012	10	426	20	240
18	25/07/2012	5	431	25	265
19	1/08/2012	5	436	20	285
20	8/08/2012	10	446	25	310
21	15/08/2012	15	461	30	340
22	22/08/2012	1	462	15	355
23	29/08/2012	1	463	15	370
24	5/09/2012	1	464	15	385
25	12/09/2012	1	465	15	400
26	19/09/2012	1	466	15	415
27	26/09/2012	1	467	15	430
28	3/10/2012	1	468	15	445
29	10/10/2012	?? Rose		?? Capt.

Capt. Savage

(Don’t forget, donations to Capt. Savage’s Pink Breakfast are more than welcome at Capt. Savage’s Pink Ribbon Morning Tea)

Related articles

• Pink Ribbon – Pink October (fashpiration.wordpress.com)
• Breast Cancer Awareness Shirts and Products (ironydesign.wordpress.com)

Karmic Better Late Than Never Post… Week??

Here is the Dalai Lama doing a bit of finger waving at naughty Capt. Savage

THE CHALLENGE. A man (Captain Savage – a very slack person). A woman (Rose). A quest. To earn enough karmic points by Christmas to be reincarnated as Something Nice. The way I am going at the moment I will be coming back as a 3 toed sloth…

So where the heck have you been Capt. Savage? Why no posts for ages?

To be honest I have been in a bit of a downer since my kids went home the other week, watching them fly back to Queensland really was gut wrenching. The kids had just stayed with me for a week in Canberra, and while it wasn’t the best holiday I’ve spent with the kids, I did feel torn up when I had to drop them off at the departure lounge and I watched my daughter run off to be with her mum and her new partner.

I shouldn’t feel sad, as I enjoyed my time with the kids and I know that their mother cares just as much as I do for the kids and they should be glad to see her and their stepfather, but logic doesn’t always triumph over emotions and your heart.

I took the kids to a few playgrounds, down to the Cotter River with Rose and her 3 dogs. The dogs didn’t care that the water was cold, they had a great time. Rose kindly took my daughter for a wander amongst the rocks, as I’d forgotten to bring my thongs (footwear for those unfamiliar, not the other sort).

So here are some photos from the week with the kids.

Here are the boys playing around by the Cotter River near Canberra, looks nice and warm but the water was freezing

Here is Rose, notice that the photo is suitably blurry, not sure what I was doing wrong that day, my expensive Nikon DSLR was taking terrible pictures (couldn’t be the operator??). It is a lovely spot really, as is Rose…

Here are the kids at an adventure playground about 15 minutes from home, Mr. J just wasn’t interested

Here is Mr. B going down the big slippery slide at the playground, and not too sure about it either

And here is Miss. J going down, more worried about her hat than the slide really

The even bigger slide that Mr. B just wouldn’t go down, no matter how many time Miss. J did it

Miss. J doing what she does best, showing off while balancing on one leg on a fake lizard

Mr. B on top of Canberra’s Telecom (Telstra) Tower, god it was windy that day, I’d just been running around trying to get Mr. B’s hat (I’m holding it while shooting this shot)

And here is Miss. J a.k.a. ‘Eskimo Girl’ trying to get out of the wind

Ok, so you have been feeling a bit low, but that’s no excuse for not doing your Karmic Post Capt!!!

Yep, I agree with Rose, who has been quietly able to do Karmic Posts while I have been acting like a bit like a hermit in my little cave (my unit). And actually doing a web post is kind of therapy rather than torture, although some of my attempts at poetry can be quite torturous I’m told.

So how did we fair Karmically (don’t think that’s actually a word Capt.) over the last few weeks?

Well Rose is so Karmic that she is already almost at her target of 500 points… and she still has nearly 3 months to go. So using the law of diminishing returns, I’ve decided to make it harder for you Rose, and also to allow me some faint hope of catching you before December. So I’ve given you a point for each week, generous I think. And for Me, well I used my weekly average up to now (15)… Creative accounting at its best I reckon Rose.

Week No.	Week Ending	Rose’s Weekly Tally	Rose’s Running Total	Capt’s Weekly Tally	Capt’s Running Total
15	4/07/2012	200	406	50	205
16	11/07/2012	10	416	15	220
17	18/07/2012	10	426	20	240
18	25/07/2012	5	431	25	265
19	1/08/2012	5	436	20	285
20	8/08/2012	10	446	25	310
21	15/08/2012	15	461	30	340
22	22/08/2012	1	462	15	355
23	29/08/2012	1	463	15	370
24	5/09/2012	1	464	15	385
25	12/09/2012	1	465	15	400
26	19/09/2012	1	466	15	415
27	26/09/2012	1	467	15	430
28	3/10/2012	1	468	15	445

 

ANY COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE SCORES SHOULD BE DIRECTED TO THE HAND… AND IT AINT LISTENING…

One of my favourite silly movies, Sacha Baron Cohen at his best (or is that his worst)

And you really should keep yourselves abreast of Rose’s recent post, it was thrilling for good old Mr. L, who apparently needed oxygen afterwards, bring on summer I say… And no, wearing a similar outfit for me won’t give you any more points, although I’m not going to discourage you…

The Karmic Challenge: Week 27 – Wear a Low Cut Dress for Jesus! (great title Rose)

Plus I love the concept of Gucci the animal activist (only animals can be really, and yes I know Rose, we are animals too). Sorry that I let the wet weather keep me at home in my cave, but to be truthful I wasn’t the best of company recently.

Capt. Savage

(Finally out of his hermit cave and back blogging)

 

More animals from Tuggeranong, another of the Captain’s top 10’s

Here is Part 2 of my poor attempt to document the wildlife that infest the area around Tuggeranong Office Park. Unfortunately it isn’t all native, but they are all animals…

1. Here are some sheep near Kambah in Tuggeranong… Their wool is a little bit wire-like however… We have lots and lots of street art sculptures in Canberra, you either love it or hate it…

2. These you will definitely see around my office building early in the morning and late in the afternoon, Eastern Grey Kangaroos, they are very common in Canberra

3. You’ll find these hairy nosed fellows (wombats) in the evenings coming down to munch on people’s gardens. Cute but unfortunately often the victims of car hit and runs as they try to cross roads and are also unfortunately very slow-moving and quite short-sighted (kind of like me nowadays).

4. There are more and more of these little fellows hopping around out the back of my workplace, the European Rabbit, return to almost plague numbers in some parts of Australia. Cute but not really supposed to be in the Australian bush.

5. The Eastern Brown Snake (or just brown snake) is one of the most dangerous snakes in the Australia. Often seen sunning itself around on concrete paths and on rocks near the offices I work at. But like most snakes, they will only bite if you get too close or maybe step on them.

6. There are lots of these noisy little fellows in the artificial watercourse that runs between the office blocks where I work. A good indicator that the environment is ok.

7. There are a few of these around too, the common Shingleback lizard, it has an ugly big blue tongue and not the friendliest of critters.

8. The Tony Abbott, feral politician and would be Prime Minister, often seen pandering to minority groups and less frequently these days, clad only in lycra (either budgee smugglers or cycling gear). The Abbott has very distinctive markings around his mouth (stains) caused by years of talking crap…

9. Legless Lizards are reasonably common in Canberra, and sometimes seen around Tuggeranong

10. The common Canberra Bogan, often found after paydays, near a bottleshop, often drive utes (known as pickups in the US). Have some redeeming features, they are often owners of pets, although it’s hard to tell which is the hairiest or smelliest, the dog or the owner…

Next week I move onto insects… Should be interesting, and maybe then plants…

Plus Tomorrow is the Karmic Challenge roundup… I think Rose has maybe had a less frustrating week, I hope so, and will I continue my slow chase of her massive lead? Last weeks post from me is here https://captsavage.wordpress.com/2012/08/08/20-weeks-of-karma-yippee-or-is-that-gold-gold-gold/ and from Rose (not her best week of Karmic collecting) http://butimbeautiful.wordpress.com/2012/08/09/the-karmic-challenge-week-20-is-completely-stupid/

Capt. Savage

(Always educational, even sometimes factual)

Bring on the Waterboarding!!! Week 19 in Karmaland (& my 95 post)

When can the use of waterboarding ever be justified?

Well it’s week 19 in Karmaland, and the tale of Karmic excellence continues between a wicked temptress (aka Rose) and a frustrated accountant (aka the Capt.).

So why the waterboarding picture Capt.?

Well if it was an alternative to horrendous torture of a corporate planning day, well I’d give it serious consideration!!!

Today as you may have guessed, involved me and the majority of the staff in my office being dragged kicking and screaming, to an offsite team building, corporate planning, love-in. As usual we had a pep talk from our senior manager and there was a ‘facilitator’ there to assist us (the chief torturer).

Motivational sessions to me are like a day spent gorging of sugar, you get a temporary feeling of sweetness and smile a lot, but at the end of the day all you get is a little bit fatter from all the food, none of the management talk, the ‘sugar’ makes any real difference.

Yep, listening to ‘motivational’ speakers is like drowning in sugar…

What I hate the most is that you practically drown in the insincerity and that you have to be nice to people that you spend most of your day trying to avoid. Then the ‘facilitator’ decides that we’ll all swap seats to ‘mingle’ and you then end up sitting right next to the very same person you just walked to the other side of the room to get away from. You know the guy who only wants to talk about his projects, his issues, his ego…

By about lunchtime I was hoping that my own stomach would force itself up my throat and strangle me, to save me from this torture session.

You also start to wonder that instead of trying to ‘motivate’ those of us who are ‘demotivated’, why don’t we just FIRE the ones who are instead, and only pay those of us with a brain…

I had more fun doing the research for this little blog post than I had all day, and I bet the ‘motivational facilitator’ earned more for that one day than I do for the whole week…

So now that the day is over I have to endure the inevitable post-mortem, the discussion to identify the ‘outcomes’, the ‘deliverables’, and then develop the new ‘plan’. You know the plans that managers make, that they sit up on the wall behind glass, next to the sign that says ‘in case of emergency or upper management inspection, break the glass’. Because to the best of my knowledge the majority of these plans end up sitting in some corner gathering dust. Maybe people who think of these plans should be treated like zombies and shot on sight…

This should read ‘in case of management zombies’

Makes me cry when I think of how much sincere insincerity I had to muster to be seen as a useful contributor to the day. I should have taken the same option as half of the invitees, called in sick or had to attend another important meeting…

Ok, to show how much my mind was on the job at this planning day, I managed to send half a dozen emails to my best friend, arrange 2 test drives of new cars, spend 20 minutes talking to one of the lucky employees who avoided the dreaded planning day, and hid in the toilets as often as possible.

Only plus for the day?

They had lots of mints to chew and the food at lunch wasn’t too bad, had some nice vegetarian wraps and fresh fruit.

Apart from that I would have rather been tied naked over an ants nest in the middle of the desert!!! I would have even volunteered to go on a Japanese game show, had to be better.

Maybe I would prefer the planning day to this!

Here is an example of something I found just then as I searched for DE-motivational posters on my iPad, also while still at the planning day. And this one would be really funny and maybe I should hang over the toilets at my workplace… I’ve seen some funny sights there girls… But maybe not in my work unit as I’d have to look at it too.

Yep, nothing upsets us guys as people commenting on our equipment while we are doing the business, one of the advantages of being a woman, you get your own private cubicle…

So how did you go at Karma Gathering Capt.?

Well this week I think I deserve some credit for being unbelievably nice to my manager and the ‘motivational’ speaker today. Managed to stay there the entire day, didn’t insult anyone (in their hearing) and was nice to my arch nemesis and my boss (felt like being sick).

Maybe 5 points?

And I have volunteered to become a respite foster carer for disabled children. I still have to do the training course and pass the reference checks etc. But I think I should get some credit for just volunteering.

Maybe 20 points?

Rose has claimed only 5 points this week, so I ever so slowing catching up on Rose, maybe I could be reincarnated as a earwig by now.

Here I am, infesting my next victim…

Points Tally for week 18

		Rose		The Capt.
Week No.	Week Ending	Rose’s Weekly Tally	Rose’s Running Total	Capt’s Weekly Tally	Capt’s Running Total
10	30/05/2012	5	151	15	90
11	6/06/2012	10	161	10	100
12	13/06/2012	0	161	10	110
13	20/06/2012	20	181	20	130
14	27/06/2012	25	206	25	155
15	4/07/2012	200	406	50	205
16	11/07/2012	10	416	15	220
17	18/07/2012	10	426	20	240
18	25/07/2012	5	431	25	265
19	1/08/2012	5	436	20	285

You can read all about Rose’s efforts at http://butimbeautiful.wordpress.com/2012/08/01/the-karmic-challenge-week-19s-bloodthirsty-pensioner-strikes-again/

I’ve got to admire her for lasting the distance with her pensioner, I personally used to feel sick after listening to my dad’s war stories. But I still joined the army anyway.

Capt. Savage

(I’d rather see the end of the world before attending another motivational team building day)

Karmic Challenge Total Time!!! In Graphic Detail!!!

(Yep I really meant in Graphic Detail Rose)

Maybe for once I’ll let the numbers tell the story, Rose still climbs ever closer to her 500 points of Karmic Nirvana, will she slip up soon? Who can tell, but with someone as interesting as Rose we are all bound to hear about it on either of her two blogs LivingInFairyland or ButImBeautiful.

Me, well I’m going to continue chasing Karma and my own little battle for enlightenment.

So Today, What a Frustrating Day!

Today was a challenge, a very frustrating and challenging day. I’ve been working on reviewing and making recommendations of a major report that will soon be considered by a major Central Government Agency for public comment and release. I and several of my team, as well as a number of other managers, have been slaving away like drones on it, working our typing fingers to the bone, researching, consulting, and drafting the response to this position paper.

And like some kind of endless waterboarding exercise we have been subjected to a marathon of continual redrafts by the various layers of management that infest my workplace like some kind of ravenous bug bladdered beasts of hell…

(Me, or what I probably looked like, during the process of continual redrafting, ARRRGH! #$@##@$#$)

In the end what did it all this redrafting come down to? What caused all the angst and endless redrafting?

Well it certainly wasn’t the content of the final recommendations, not my teams’ critique of current policies, procedures and legislation. NO, it all came down to semantics, stupid weasel words that managers feel have to be put in so that no report ever actually says anything.

So is this document finished?

Heck no, it’s going through one more redraft, I find out tomorrow what needs to redrafted next… May the final reviewer suffer a brain haemorrhage, or maybe their own stomach rises up their windpipe and throttles them, and then someone else with some common sense justs decides to sign the damn thing off! There is always hope 🙂

So NO I didn’t earn any Karma today, especially not for what I would like to do to my management team…

Capt. Savage

(Almost tempted to go Postal, if only Australia had liberal gun laws… And YES I am only JOKING)

(This is more like what I want to be doing)

Week 17 – A few more coins in the Karmic fountain

This song is for my daughter, who for some reason really likes this track. I am slightly embarrassed to admit that I have the original album (Waterloo) in vinyl, maybe if my daughter is good when she comes and visits me in September I might dig out the album and play it for her. That’s after I have finished explaining to her what a record player is… Worrying part in a way for me is pretty soon I’ll need to explain to her what a CD player is… Plus all those cassettes I have gathering dust in the corner of my cupboard.

Miss J, this is a record player, and no my house is NOT a museum, at least not yet…

BTW, this weekend signals a new episode in the life of the Capt., yes my new little pussy cat arrives on Saturday (hopefully). I have been lusting after a pussy for years (minds out of gutter please!), well ever since my family’s last lovely black and white cat quietly passed away.

Timmins, the black and white pussy cat…

Pussy cats have been in my family for years actually, in fact here is a picture of my dad with his cat before he went off to the Second World War.

He was also called Timmins, as were all our family’s cats.

Dad then went off and joined the Artillery and served in North Africa.

There’s my dad, back row, 3^rd from the left, with the slightly cheeky grin, he was a naughty boy…

Anyway, back to Timmins the 1^st, my dad was away for over 5 years, and old Timmins hung on until he came back. He lasted just 4-5 months after that, and dad was apparently really upset when he passed away. Timmins really made an impression on my dad. Our family was almost never without a cat for as long as I can remember. So I’ve waited a few years dad, but finally I’ve gotten around to carrying on the family tradition (Mum does have a cat, and he is a real rascal).

My dad, well as I said, he was a bit of a lad, or slightly naughty. I think he was lucky to snag my mum. Dad was a bit of a dancer, and my mum loved dancing, they met at a dance hall in Sydney.

Here is mum walking down the to my granddad’s store, which was at the old Paddy’s Market in Haymarket Sydney. The photo was taken sometime before the war. My poppy own a large green grocers business at the markets, mum used to do the books. Apparently she was often wolf whistled when she walked to work, she claimed not to like it, but I think she really loved it…

Mum was cute I think… Love the gloves, the hat and the net stuff…

The end result was this…

Yes that’s a little Capt. Savage, at home in our backyard…

So enough of my family, on to the Karmic score.

I have I think said all I need to say about our (Rose and my) week in Karma. You can check out our respective blogs for more details, for Rose see http://butimbeautiful.wordpress.com/2012/07/18/the-karmic-challenge-week-17-guru-fred-speaks/ and for my efforts see https://captsavage.wordpress.com/2012/07/18/week-of-karmic-action-week-17/

And the points… I was tempted to give all of Rose’s point to Guru Fred, whose wisdom is never-ending… But here is the Capt. Savage view, objections can be sent to WhoCares@GuruFredsAshram.com.au

		Rose		The Capt.
Week No.	Week Ending	Rose’s Weekly Tally	Rose’s Running Total	Capt’s Weekly Tally	Capt’s Running Total
10	30/05/2012	5	151	15	90
11	6/06/2012	10	161	10	100
12	13/06/2012	0	161	10	110
13	20/06/2012	20	181	20	130
14	27/06/2012	25	206	25	155
15	4/07/2012	200	406	50	205
16	11/07/2012	10	416	15	220
17	18/07/2012	10	426	50	270

(Note, I gave myself a couple of extra points for this week, Carpe Diem, Rose)

Bring on Week 18, and let’s see what chaos a pussy cat can do…

Capt. Savage

(Finally the Capt. has his own furry little pussy)

Week of Karmic Action = Week 17

Carpe diem, Seize the Day (Remembering Horace and His Command)

Seize the day, for you never can tell when you’ll have another chance. That’s what the great Roman poet Quintus Horatius Flaccus, or Horace, is claimed to have said. More precisely, Horace wrote,

Spem longam reseces. Dum loquimur,
fugerit invida
Aetas: carpe diem, quam minimum
credula postero.

Which translates loosely as,

“Set aside faraway hopes. Even as we speak, time is running away from us. So seize the day and the moment, and don’t put your faith in the future.”

I think that’s pretty good advice for procrastinators (like me), good advice for everyone. Horace is probably better known today for the two-word phrase “carpe diem” or ‘seize the day’ than for the thousands of lines of verse that he wrote, or more accurately survives today.

I won’t go into too much details as apparently my blog writing tends to be slightly too long. But personal good deeds a plenty appeared to flow through like a man possessed.

Vote NO to puppy farming…

I scored points for supporting the Oscar’s Law cause, by plastering the handouts on the notice boards at work and on my FB page, and in my last Karmic Post.

But seeing as Rose was the initiator and inspiration,

Maybe just 5 points

Yes, Carpe Diem, I faced my Demon Boss!!!

I faced my DEMON boss and a few other personal demons during the week, does that count for Karma?

I also continued my push to be an appreciated boss and consoled 3 different staff members following family issues, again, I think that’s Karma points as I am an accountant not a counsellor, so, because I get paid to be a boss but not necessarily to be nice, well

Maybe 5 points?

To Meetup or Not to Meetup, that is the Question?

This is not the Meetup Group I went too, too many empty jugs of beer…

Went to my first Meetup meeting and shared my magnificence with other Canberran’s (is that a word), again, I was nice to everyone, does that count or would it only count if I was nasty (as negatives)?

I suppose me getting off my butt (Carpe Diem), lots of good feelings, broke my procrastination loop, and

Zero points

So over to you Rose, I stand ready to tally… Procrastination circuit removed,

How did you do?

Capt. Savage

(‘aspice porro, aspice retro’ or ‘look forwards, look backwards’)

Karmic Challenge Week 15 or is it 16 already??? I’m really not sure…

I absolutely HATE the mosquito… Almost as much as the tax department

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”
― Dalai Lama XIV

The Great continuing Karmic Challenge

Only 5 months to go Rose, just 5 months, I’d tell you the days left, but I’ll save my accounting skills as who really cares? The game is about Karma not counting I think.

Now my apologies from the start, my prosaic and mundane writing style is not a patch on my good friend Rose’s contributions. But suck it up, I have the keyboard and I’m here writing it, so too bad!

It has been a difficult few weeks to keep up the Karmic reporting pace that has been maintained by the highly creative Rose and me her number crunching sidekick. What with trips to the snow fields, then to the sunshine coast, new challenging jobs to do (in Rose’s case). Well it has not been great, and there are other recent events that have distracted Rose, so I thought I’d do a post just, because, well just because…

Now since I have been distracted, and I have not really keeping an eye on things, I thought I might just summarise  just the highlights, or at least the one’s I know about or can remember. Rose you can always correct me, and I know that you will be!

The Capt. and Karma Weeks 14 to 15

Now you might notice that I left of week 16, that’s because Rose and I haven’t really had a chance to compare notes, but accuracy in Karmic Counting has never been my strongest suit.

So how did I do over the last few weeks? Where do I start?

1. The Noah’s Ark Expedition to the non-Sunshine Coast
   

   Well you can read the whole sorry story at my post Karma and a week lost in a very wet paradise. It explains how lovely and warm it was(n’t) up on the Sunshine Coast. So for enduring near arctic conditions and bringing smiles to my kids, or at least entertaining them and giving them heaps of cuddles, I think I deserve a few points.

   How does 25 Points sound?
   

   
   

   Here is me with Miss J (excuse her bottom), Mr J (tank engine in hand) and Mr B, all loving the beach. Mind you it was raining, blowing a gale, and the beach was actually closed for surfing, but my family (and Rose) we are made of tougher stuff.

2. The Great Cat Visitation and Feeding event
   

   Now Rose has befriended this rather bohemian woman, who has from what I can gather, an addiction to helping poor little lost pussies. Rose has been making regularly pilgrimages to visit this cat lady, and taking food for her many many cute pussy cats.

   I have been talking about getting a cat for some time now. Finally the other week the body corporate, those devils that set the rules for the block of units I live in, well finally they relented and grudgingly gave me permission to have my own pussy. Rose just wasn’t able to make her regular visit last week, so little old me took the meat to the cat lady.

   I nearly ran over a cat as I drove up the driveway, then as I entered the house several cats tried to make a break for it. But actually, eccentric as she is, this cat lady seems to have a heart of gold, and a lack of a functioning old factory sense (her house stinks just a bit).

   So I gave the meat to her, with Rose’s apologies, and I also made friends with I don’t know how many cats. My next visit will be to select my own pussy, thanks Rose for setting this up (or is that setting me up).

   Maybe 25 points?
   

   

   A selection of cute pussy cats, I’ll post a picture of mine when I finally get it settled into my place

3. Donations, Donations, oh wonderful Tax Deductible Donations
   

   I am slowly, month by month, contributing to the education of some anonymous child, via the Smith Family. So at around $40 a month, I think I should get not only a tax deduction, but carbon credits and maybe a few Karma points too.

   

   You too can help the Smith Family by visiting their website and making a donation directly at http://www.thesmithfamily.com.au/site/page.cfm, or if you are in Australia, do it in the flesh.

   25 Points

So What about Rose’s Weeks 14 to 15?

1. Yes, Rose was also part of the Noah’s Ark Expedition
   

   Well I’d have to that I really appreciated Rose coming along to the, formerly known as, Sunshine Coast. Yep it rained almost non-stop, and my kids kept on wanting to go into the pool. Rose is NOT a big fan of the cold, and the so-called ‘heated’ pool, was not exactly warm. Now she did spend quite a bit of time in the heated spa pool, actually almost all the time she could. But when required she bravely went where her body told her not to go, and for that I really appreciated it, as I did with her assistance she gave freely for the entire week with my kids. You were fantastic Rose xxx

   100 Points
   

   
   

   There is the intrepid polar explorer Rose, with Miss J and Mr B, freezing her tits off, I know cause I’d just jumped out of the pool to take the photo 

2. But Capt. It was my food that you took to the Great Cat Visitation!
   

   Yep I think you deserve a bucket load for supporting this lovely lady and her cat infestation. Especially kind giving meat, when you can’t stand the stuff really. Plus pointing me in the right direction, yep thanks to Rose I will soon have my very own pussy cat, and from the same lovely cat lady, she is a bit strange, but I’ve grown accustomed to eccentricity, you see I know you Rose, my very bestie, and well what more can I say J

   10 Points
   

   
   

   This is how NOT to feed a cat, yep you can’t trust an ex-president…

3. The failure to deliver, NO slamming for me… 

   Well Rose got me all worked up and ready to be totally slammed into the jaws of a lubricious local poetesses at a monthly Poetry Slam. I was all primed, had memorised my best lines, by the way she had planned this event, not me. I would have been happy just going down to the local to hear a band, or even just sitting and chatting sitting on soft sand. But Rose, who writes some incredible prose, decided that poetry would be where to pose, that eternal question, of life and the rest, your place or mine? Yes my ultimate test!

   But Rose did not satisfy, my ultimate need, my eternal quest, instead she chose sniffles, and her own sick-bed, and left me a little miffled… Maybe it’s lucky she DIDN’T take me to the poetry slam…

   No Points for Rose, just a bad case of the Flu
   

   
   

   Here is what we missed out on Rose, the worrying part for me is, no sexy Poetess’s anywhere in sight

4. Rose and her wonderful mum
   

   I can’t say too much here, as really Rose has said it all in her post Farewell to the loveliest of mothers. My heart went out to Rose, and for her lovely writing and thoughts about her mum, well I really can’t count the number of points you truly deserve, but as a small token, here is my tally for you.

   200 Points
   

   

So what is the tally up to week 15?

		Rose		The Capt.
Week No.	Week Ending	Rose’s Weekly Tally	Rose’s Running Total	Capt’s Weekly Tally	Capt’s Running Total
0	21/03/2012	0	0	-7	-7
1	28/03/2012	12	12	13	6
2	4/04/2012	15	27	18	24
3	11/04/2012	10	37	11	35
4	18/04/2012	10	47	11	46
5	25/04/2012	4	51	-3	43
6	2/05/2012	15	66	12	55
7	9/05/2012	10	76	10	65
8	16/05/2012	50	126	10	75
9	23/05/2012	20	146	0	75
10	30/05/2012	5	151	15	90
11	6/06/2012	10	161	10	100
12	13/06/2012	0	161	10	110
13	20/06/2012	20	181	20	130
14	27/06/2012	100	206	25	155
15	4/07/2012	210	416	50	205
16	11/07/2012	???	???	???	???

Your comments and abuse is will be appreciated and/or ignored depending on whether it is the former or the latter.

Capt. Savage

(Slowing slipping further behind the Karmic excellence that is Rose)

Karma and a week lost in a very wet paradise

What Noosa Main Beach is supposed to look like…

In search of Karma on the Sunshine Coast with my kids and the master Karma Collector Rose

“Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.”
― Dalai Lama XIV

I have just come back from a very wet week at what normally is a beach paradise, namely the Sunshine Coast of Queensland. Every 3 months I make a pilgrimage up to visit my kids who now live in Queensland with my ex-wife. Generally it’s a pleasant trip, with warm or hot days, lots of time spent at the beach, it’s quite simply a week usually spent in paradise.

So you get used to believing the advertising campaigns, where Queensland is described as ‘beautiful one day and perfect the next’, I went through this in my last post ‘good weather for ducks‘, so I won’t go back over old ground. But my last post was on the Tuesday of last week. Well it didn’t really stop raining until I pack everything up and drove my kids back to their mother’s place on Friday.

However regardless of the weather my kids had heaps of fun, as did I, and I believe so did Rose too (with the kids anyway). Also being stuck inside gave me plenty of chances to practice my new vice, namely playing the guitar, or at least torturing others while I practice.

Jade ‘enjoying’ my guitar playing

So how about Karma Capt?

Well I have to admit I felt like I was collecting Karma by the bucket load with the smiles coming from the kids, mostly Miss J who simply loved jumping in the water, mostly the heated spa however, Mr B is made of stronger stuff and stoically insisted in jumping into the pool. Now this was supposed to be a heated pool, but I think that as in my previous post the heating was simply there to melt the larger icebergs.

But the one who deserves all of the Karma is Rose. While she mostly avoided the pool whenever possible, she definitely is not in the slightest bit Eskimo, she did force a smile and put up with most of everything my kids chucked at her. Only on one or two occasions did she have to escape, one of those was her epic expedition to Noosa Heads (walking), but I think that she may actually have been escaping me and my damn guitar.

She also gave up a week with her kids, her animals, and even (god forbid) blogging mostly… She was starting to be a bit strung out by the end of the week, like a drug addict going cold turkey. And I must also mention that for almost the whole week before our epic trip she had the worst case of Lurgi, and was still swallowing buckets of antibiotics and generally rattling round like a pill bottle when we drove up to Queensland.

SO A BIG THANK YOU TO YOU ROSE – Maybe 100 Points… what do you think.

Rose and Miss J in the heated spa… where was I, well with the polar bears in the pool with my eskimo son Mr B…

For me, well I think I deserve some points, but they are my kids, so I suppose being nice to them isn’t too much of an effort.

And I should get some points for giving my ex-wife a kid free week to spend surrounded by washing and the other bi-products of having 3 kids to look after. I’m imagining her crumpled in a corner breathing heavy sighs of relief and perhaps slipping off for a quick massage somewhere, or god forbid getting a sleep-in.

So maybe I could get 25 points for spending the week with them?

This week however has been a bit of a disaster work-wise for me…

I have been a bit sleep deprived, my kids have been working me over, tag team wrestling style. My daughter likes to read before going to sleep, but I suspect it’s actually a tactic to get daddy to let her stay up later. Most nights she doesn’t get to sleep until well after 10pm. Then Mr J, my little downs boy, well he just LOVES waking up at around 4-4.30am every morning… So I think on my best night I got maybe 5 hours sleep. Now I can’t complain, my kids are a pretty happy lot, and don’t grumble (much), they are actually pretty easy-going (just like me).

Here is a stock picture of someone practicing my new work appreciation technique

So this week I got back to work and pretty much sat in my office looking absent mindedly at people, and pretending to be awake. On Tuesday morning it all caught up with me and I slept in (badly). The only reason I woke up was that another member of my team rang me on my mobile to say they weren’t coming into work. The call finally raised me from my zombie like, living dead state, and nearly fell out of bed when I saw the time. I then had to drag myself into work to face the music from my boss (arrogantus on steriodicus), who practically handed me a leave form.

Will I go back to the ‘Sunshine Coast’ again? Or will I take Queensland to court for false advertising?

Well of course I will, as the song says, ‘2 out of 3 ain’t bad’, and the previous 2 visits had been just fantastic. Even this visit was fun if wet, I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed getting soaking wet more, nor jumped in as many puddles.

Will Rose ever accompany me on one of these expeditions again?

To be honest I have no idea, but I SO appreciated her help and company, that I’d pay her to come next time. But at least if I take anybody else with me to help, I now have the gold standard to compare to… Thanks Rose you are a STAR.

In September the kids are coming down to visit me, and I’m going to take them somewhere where I am hoping it’s also cold and wet, but at least it will be my choice and it will involve snow hopefully next time. At Christmas I am planning to take them back to the Sunshine Coast, when I am sure it’s paradise status will be restored. Plus in Sept when the kids come to my place I may be able to persuade Rose to jump in the pool with the kids again, or perhaps visit the beach with them, if I am a really good boy, just maybe…

Capt. Savage

(Slightly sleep deprived, but still a happy chappy, or maybe just feeling crappy for being back at work…)

Related articles

• Good weather for ducks!!! (captsavage.wordpress.com)
• Karmic Challenge Week 7 (captsavage.wordpress.com)
• Karma Karma Karma, maybe if I say it enough, it will come? (captsavage.wordpress.com)