A Twisted Tale of Men without Clothing, the tale of ‘Magic Mike’

There he is out front, Magic Mike… And yes Rose, not a single chest hair in sight…

What Was I thinking, this was definitely a Chick Only Flick!!!

Well this was a first for me, to see a movie that was all about Male Strippers… Now let me point out that I’m not going to spend too much time describing the plot of this movie, because basically it didn’t really have one. If you do go and see it, and for you ladies I’m betting its only a matter of time, you’ll know what I mean.

Basically the movie revolves around the unfortunate life of a young guy called Adam (who is 19). He has moved to Florida to get a restart on life and is sharing an apartment with his sister. Well, he goes to work on a building site and gets fired on his first day. He ends up meeting Mike (aka Magic Mike), and next thing you know he is working at a strip bar with women shoving money down his underpants.

Here is Adam and Mike on his first night at the strip club, being tempted by the ‘Dark Side’

There are some amusing moments in the film and there was a bit of noise coming from the female member of the audience both onscreen in the strip club and at the movie theatre I was sitting too (yep keep the noise down girls). I think the ladies liked it, and I can understand why, it did feature some pretty good dance moves, a lot of ripping off clothing and underpants that seemed to lack backs in them… I was shocked (must find out where to get some)

Matthew McConaughey (Dallas) strutting his stuff as the Stripper Boss

The movie is full of sex, drugs, alcohol, and Adam tries them all before he gets tempted and then involved in a drug deal that goes bad (kind of predictable). In between all this madness Mike falls for Adam’s sister.

I found the story at bit confusing, maybe that’s because there wasn’t one, or maybe I just couldn’t see the screen as my glasses kept fogging up from all the heavy breathing females in the audience.

Mike chatting to Adam’s sister (Cody Horn a pretty apt name?)

Anyway, what am l doing discussing a plot in the context of this movie?

The point of this movie was really to shove as much eye candy in front of the ladies as possible, without it appearing to be just that, a continuous series of scenes involving hairless dudes with muscles on muscles, ripping their clothes off and gyrating all over lots of smiling women.

To be honest I shouldn’t have gone to this movie, because I definitely was not the target demographic.

Should you go and see it?

My advice girls, if you want to see lots of buff looking men ripping their clothes off, you don’t mind the absence of depth, and seeing a fair bit naughtiness etc. Go along, you’ll probably LOVE it. I think Rose, Darla and all of the girls who follow my friend’s blog (http://livinginfairyland.wordpress.com/ aka An Etiquette Guide for Sluts) definitely will have a good time… I can almost hear the hoots and wolf whistles as I type.

For me, bring on the version for us Males… Or maybe that has already been done by Demi Moore

It wasn’t a total loss, I did see some interesting new dance moves for me to practice, just need to get some new underwear and clothes that rip off real quick 😉 Maybe if a get some of this gear, get fit, grow some chest hair, and borrow Doctor Who’s time machine, I might even get an invitation to Goddess Gate or Rose’s Ranch (Come on Darla and Rose, a bit of practice and some anti aging cream, and who knows?)

Capt. Savage

(Been there done that, no more male strip movies for me)

Aubergine’s Restaurant in Canberra

The other night my brother and a group of his friends from my home town invited me to dinner at one of the finest restaurants in Canberra. I was surprised by the choice of venue as these blokes were in Canberra on a golfing trip to play all the courses in Canberra in one week (well most of them anyway). I would have thought from my last excursion with these guys that they would have been infesting all of the cheap eat joints and bars (with strippers) rather than seeking out La Grande Cuisine… But never mind, I never turn down a chance at a free feed (yep my brother was paying for me).

The evening started off really well as this is a full service restaurant, so we were surrounded by wait staff desperate to entertain our every whim. Chairs were pulled out for us, napkins were placed on laps, all the wines were carefully decanted for us and fresh glasses were brought round for every new bottle opened.

The performance was quite impressive, as was the menu when it came out. The selection of food sounded spectacular and I was getting hungry just reading the list of food. The menu was a 2 course degustation menu, which I hadn’t had since I left Sydney. For those of you who haven’t tried this style of menu it involved sampling small portions of all of a chef’s signature dishes in one sitting. This was for both the entrée and the main course.

These guys, 6 of them including my brother, were all my age or older and I’d played golf with most of them (badly) at one time or another either at the golf course in my home town or on one of my brothers extravagant golfing holidays (normally involving lots of resort courses, blokes behaving badly and drinking).

Yep this could be them drinking, playing cards and talking crap…

So these guys (including me) really didn’t suits this restaurant at all and as the night went on we suited it less and less. I however, am no longer a big drinker, much to my brother and his friend’s disappointment, as they kept pushing glasses of wine my way. They however steadily consumed at least one bottle of wine each (and I believe quite a bit more than that by the constant stream of bottles being opened and the way they were behaving).

As the night went on they just kept on getting louder and I started to realise how much I’d changed but they hadn’t… I used to enjoy their trips away, I’d be amongst it with them, talking crap, drinking heaps and basically being a pain in the butt or a source of amusement (depending on your point of view) for all those around me. That night however I was the sober observer and it was a strange sensation.

Now I’m not saying that they were complete idiots, they weren’t really, they were just loud and slightly obnoxious. You know, when they think every joke they tell is hilarious and every waitress (in their minds) finds them totally irresistible… The reality was a group of late middle-aged men (yep, apart from my brother, they were all older than me) acting like drunken bums, although their antics were amusing to be honest. As the night went on they got louder and louder and the wait staff began to look more and more interested in getting us out of the place.

In the end we were shovelled out of the restaurant and my purpose for being invited became clear… I had a 7-seater RV and could take them to their next destination, the Canberra Casino where they intended to continue to party on.

Now look at all that colourful stuff on the table…

Now will I go out with these wild country boys again if they invite me? Yep probably, because it is kind of fun to watch other people make idiots of themselves, and for once not be one of the idiots. Do I think they were actually idiots? Nope, just blokes being blokes, and maybe next time I’ll get a cab and join in as well.

Capt. Savage

(Reformed idiot, almost ready for his next relapse)