And then there were Strippers… A Savage Movie Review

A Twisted Tale of Men without Clothing, the tale of ‘Magic Mike’

There he is out front, Magic Mike… And yes Rose, not a single chest hair in sight…

What Was I thinking, this was definitely a Chick Only Flick!!!

Well this was a first for me, to see a movie that was all about Male Strippers… Now let me point out that I’m not going to spend too much time describing the plot of this movie, because basically it didn’t really have one. If you do go and see it, and for you ladies I’m betting its only a matter of time, you’ll know what I mean.

Basically the movie revolves around the unfortunate life of a young guy called Adam (who is 19). He has moved to Florida to get a restart on life and is sharing an apartment with his sister. Well, he goes to work on a building site and gets fired on his first day. He ends up meeting Mike (aka Magic Mike), and next thing you know he is working at a strip bar with women shoving money down his underpants.

Here is Adam and Mike on his first night at the strip club, being tempted by the ‘Dark Side’

There are some amusing moments in the film and there was a bit of noise coming from the female member of the audience both onscreen in the strip club and at the movie theatre I was sitting too (yep keep the noise down girls). I think the ladies liked it, and I can understand why, it did feature some pretty good dance moves, a lot of ripping off clothing and underpants that seemed to lack backs in them… I was shocked (must find out where to get some)

Matthew McConaughey (Dallas) strutting his stuff as the Stripper Boss

The movie is full of sex, drugs, alcohol, and Adam tries them all before he gets tempted and then involved in a drug deal that goes bad (kind of predictable). In between all this madness Mike falls for Adam’s sister.

I found the story at bit confusing, maybe that’s because there wasn’t one, or maybe I just couldn’t see the screen as my glasses kept fogging up from all the heavy breathing females in the audience.

Mike chatting to Adam’s sister (Cody Horn a pretty apt name?)

Anyway, what am l doing discussing a plot in the context of this movie?

The point of this movie was really to shove as much eye candy in front of the ladies as possible, without it appearing to be just that, a continuous series of scenes involving hairless dudes with muscles on muscles, ripping their clothes off and gyrating all over lots of smiling women.

To be honest I shouldn’t have gone to this movie, because I definitely was not the target demographic.

Should you go and see it?

My advice girls, if you want to see lots of buff looking men ripping their clothes off, you don’t mind the absence of depth, and seeing a fair bit naughtiness etc. Go along, you’ll probably LOVE it. I think Rose, Darla and all of the girls who follow my friend’s blog (http://livinginfairyland.wordpress.com/ aka An Etiquette Guide for Sluts) definitely will have a good time… I can almost hear the hoots and wolf whistles as I type.

For me, bring on the version for us Males… Or maybe that has already been done by Demi Moore

It wasn’t a total loss, I did see some interesting new dance moves for me to practice, just need to get some new underwear and clothes that rip off real quick 😉 Maybe if a get some of this gear, get fit, grow some chest hair, and borrow Doctor Who’s time machine, I might even get an invitation to Goddess Gate or Rose’s Ranch (Come on Darla and Rose, a bit of practice and some anti aging cream, and who knows?)

Capt. Savage

(Been there done that, no more male strip movies for me)

Ok, Who’s Your Favourite Doctor Who Companion?

Ok, I’ll admit it up front… I am a MAD Doctor Who fan…

I was having a pleasant little chat while having dinner with friend and her daughter, and the subject of Doctor Who came up. At this point my friends eyes started to glaze over and she started to think or dream of possible blog entries, or anything else that didn’t involve Dr Who. Her daughter and I however started talking about which Dr Who companion was the best. Keep in mind that while Miss M (my friend’s daughter) has only been watching Dr Who for a few years (she is only a teenager). I (unfortunately?) am old enough to have witnessed ALL of his various incarnations.

In the end we discussed a number of contenders, some were just simply because I thought they looked hot, apparently that is not a good enough reason!!!

(In case you ARE interested, her name was Leela)

We both agree that Donna Noble (the ubiquitous temp from Chiswick, London), was one of the top companions. While she is not the most attractive of our candidates, she is funny and interesting and stood up to the Doctor. Born into a middle class working family she seems set on a life as a boring office temp. I always thought her character brought a little depth and emotion to the role which set her apart as one of the best companions, although both Miss M and I think she could be a little thick at time, typical woman (oh boy and I going to cop it for that one).

(Catherine Tate had a few points going for her)

We both found Rose Tyler a bit irritating, but that didn’t surprise me in the least. Miss M is not the sort to find a blond bimbo type character impressive, although I have to admit she did look rather hot sometimes. She was one of the most confident companions, and but often made some poor decisions, ok I’m game, typical woman (I’ve lived long enough anyway). Rose ends up trapped in a parallel universe with a cheap carbon copy Doctor Who, i.e. the human type with only one heart…

(Those smouldering looks, but behind it is a typical ditzy blonde)

We both agreed that Martha Jones is a good candidate for the top spot. She is probably the most attractive companion, plus she plays the part of a real Doctor, you know the medical type, not one of those Doctor types who do heaps of extra study in Philosophy or some other useless arcane esoteric crap.

(Freeman Agyeman, what more can I say?)

(late edit) Oh and I almost forgot (or did forget)  Emelia Jessica (Amy) Pond, the kiss-o-gram girl and still a current companion. Her store line is built around her relationship with the Doctor and her boyfriend, later husband Rory Williams. Plus she is as far as I remember, the first companion to ave a child resulting from having sex on the Tardis (adds a bit more colour to her I think)? But as per usual the BBC budget doesn’t cover sex scenes, so not really that interesting.

Here is Amy Gillan aka Amy Pond (and she is sexy in a Scot-type way)

And the final companion I forgot? Dr. River Song

River Song, how could I forget her? She is hot for a middle-aged woman (my type of gal)

And last of all (and my most important missed companion, thank you senior moments) Well she is the most attractive, sexy, foxy and mature woman of them all!!! The Doctor’s wife, the mysterious Dr River Song, an archeologist, who turned out to be Amy Pond’s daughter as well.  And to be honest Alex Kingston (who plays this part) is a very sexy woman, and god forbid, she is my age group, not a young-en like so many of the Doctors companions.

Ok Capt., Isn’t this list a little bit sexist?

Ok, I’ll also admit that my shortlist of Doctor Who companions seems to be made up entirely of women… Well in my defence both Miss M and I agreed on this shortlist (at least that’s what I remember), and I, Capt. Savage, am always right, at least when I am writing the stories on MY BLOG…

The most embarrassing thing about this discussion with Miss M?

Well it was that I may have seen every series of Doctor Who, but the young Miss M knows more about the storylines than I do, maybe my addled old brain is getting more worn out than I am willing to admit…

(Yep I’m getting absent-minded like Robin William’s character in Flubber, except I’m not a brilliant scientist, don’t have hair like a freak, or wear a silly bow tie)

For those of you interested, or would like to do further research, here is my top 15 Doctor Who companions… And NO, they are in no particular order…

My Top 15 Companions (now including 2 bonus (forgotten) companions)

• Rose Tyler
  (Billie Piper) – Well ok, yes she is sexy!
  
• Adam Mitchell (Bruno Langley) – he was naughty and got what he deserved.
  
• Captain Jack (John Barrowman) – I’m a guy and even I think he’s hot.
  
• Mickey Smith (Noel Clarke) – He was cute, in a dumb kind of way
  
• Donna Noble (Catherine Tate) – Funny, quirky, had big…
  
• Martha Jones (Freema Agyeman) – Just HOT, really HOT… And smart and…
  
• Astrid Peth (Kylie Minogue) – She is Australian, got to be patriotic.
  
• Sarah Jane Smith (Elisabeth Sladen) – Super lady, shame she died before her time.
  
• Jackson Lake (David Morrissey) – far better actor than David Tennant the actual Doctor
  
• Lady Christina de Souza (Michelle Ryan) – Foxy, sexy, naughty, need I say more
  
• Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart (Nicholas Courtney) – Backbone of several Doctors, stiff up lip…
  
• Jo Grant (Katy Manning) – Thick as concrete, unbelievably bad actress, but a laugh
  
• Leela (Louise Jameson) – Those leather outfits…
  
• Tegan Jovanka (Janet Fielding) – An Aussie and the longest continuous running companion
  
• Wilfred Mott (Bernard Cribbins) – Really nice character, sorry he won’t be back

Late Edit (resulting from my senility)

• Amy Pond (Karen Gillan) – Long legged former model, but not the best I think
• River Song (Alex Kingston) – Intelligent, articulate, sexy in a mature way

So who is your favourite companion?

 

Or do any of you actually care?

Capt. Savage

(Yep, confirmed Doctor Who fanatic, in need of the next series soon, come on BBC, bring it on)

(My real favourite companion, the one, the only, K9)

Looking for a new Beast…

If only I look like Eric Bana, maybe I wouldn’t need to look for a chick magnet…

Capt. Savage is on the prowl, looking for something sexy, something that get hot when you go fast, something that’s hard and stays hard, yep I’m looking for a new car. And now that I no longer burdened with a family, well at least not all of the time, I’m thinking it’s time for me to go for a BEAST.

Maybe something like this, and yep, please throw in this hood accessory, very attractive…

There is something sexual about prowling through car yards looking at new vehicles. The cars I have been looking at reek of testosterone, of leather, of burning rubber, or latent maleness.

Currently I am driving my former family wagon, one of those practical beasts, with seven seats, that you normally see domestic types picking up the kids from school in. Sexy it is NOT, a vehicle to cruise for chicks, FORGET IT!!!

Here is a picture of a car just like mine, and ok girls, I don’t think any of you are going weak at the knees…

Yesterday, one of my best mates dropped in, see https://captsavage.wordpress.com/2012/07/28/old-friends-old-friends-and-my-90th-post-yippee/ 

One thing I forgot to mention is that we went for a drive to look for chick magnet for me, aka, a new car. Yes Mr M and I went off to salivate over shining metal tubes with huge rubber extensions, very phallic indeed.

Cars have that effect on us men, more I think than the intended targets, i.e. women. Perhaps their effect on us men is more like Viagra, rather than acting as a magnet for girls? But regardless of their true worth for pulling birds, we blokes simply love the sound of a hot car revving, love it…

Yep I would be in heaven listening to this, music to my ears…

To be honest I am a bit of a closet hoon (Aussie for a petrol head). I was born and raised in the home of V8 motor sport in Australia, in the shadow of the mighty Mount Panorama (The Mount). Home to the legendary motor sports heroes and chick magnet, the one and only Peter Brock (my role model). The man won more Bathurst’s than practically anyone, and an Aussie icon.

(Now there’s a man who still looked good with grey hair)

As a kid I used to love making the pilgrimage up to ‘The Mount’, smelling all those motor fumes, burnt rubber, feeling the noise of those huge V8’s thumping through my chest. You practically grew chest hairs just walking up to the place.

The start of a typical race at The Mount…

The disappointing thing however about my Bathurst visits was the overwhelming number of beer gutted hoons that infested the place. Most of the visitors spent most of their time reaching for tinnies from their eskies, or wolf whistling women who stupidly (or intentionally) wandered too close to a gathering of these beer-gutted, alcohol fuelled, hairy chested gatherings.

Typical hoon behaviour that infests Bathurst on race weeks

So where was I?

Oh yeah, I’m looking for a new car, a potential chick magnet, now that I am footloose and woman free. My specifications, well it had to be something hot, something muscular, something that gets me all sweaty just looking at it at it!

So what kind of chick pulling, power laden, hugely muscular, monster beast did I end up choosing?

Yeah, I went for the real sexy one…

A VW Golf Wagon… at least it’s red… and it’s seats fold down to form a double bed…

So Girl’s, should I go for this practical option or the V8 Beast?

Capt. Savage

(A hoon, but only in his head)

Old Friends, Old Friends… (and my 90th post, Yippee)

I can always rely on Flight of the Conchords to have a song to go with a blog…

Today I caught up with an old friend, who I haven’t seen in quite a few months, far too many to be honest. Mr M lives in a little town not far from me, only about an hour’s drive away. But for one reason or another we haven’t caught up. He is one of my oldest friends; I’ve known him for over thirty years.

Here is Mr M, Capt. Savage (me) and my younger brother Mr. D. sharing a drink the night before my wedding.

It’s great catching up with old friends, you have so many shared memories, it’s so much easier because you can almost jump back in and restart a conversation from where you left it last time. There are automatic topics that you can discuss by just pulling one of those memories off the shelf and turning time back to that moment, and both of you have a shared bookmark.

But just like in the Conchords song, friends also are the ones who help pick up your mess sometimes and can get a kick out of reminding you of your most embarrassing moments.

Like that incredibly horrible curly hair I used to have, with the dorky huge glasses and my Rodney Rude T-Shirt (Rodney was from my home town BTW)

And then of course there were the wild parties I may have occasionally gone to, just the occasional one… Friends have this ability to remember in fine detail every embarrassing moment, and a skill of playing it back when you least want them to. Mr D my brother chose his groomsman’s speech to reveal some of my more mischievous moments to my very new bride and her family. Something that I will never let him forget and neither will my mother who was tempted to garrote him when he got back to his seat.

Here is Mr D, Me and a very wobbly Mr. T

Today was really pleasant, not only because we talked about old times, but I realised that while we had both moved on, we still had that same strong connection. It was great to catch up, to go over old times, but in the end it wasn’t the memories I enjoyed, it was seeing my old mate. Mr M and I share a common bond, a realisation that for a brief few years we had a ball, we were both experimenting, growing up. But I also know that part of who I am now is thanks to the influence of Mr M and my other friends.

So Mr M, thanks for the memories, and let’s not wait so long to catch up again, maybe this time over a bottle of Red.

CS

World Champion Farnarkling, a challenge to my Karmic happiness!!!

Well, I work in a government agency just overflowing with world champion farnarklers, farnarkling like crazy, as they have been doing with my review, refer to my last post at https://captsavage.wordpress.com/2012/07/26/karmic-challenge-total-time-in-graphic-detail/.

Have they signed off on it?

Hell No… Still more farnarkling apparently to be done.

CS

The Bucket

The word "farnarkling" has become firmly entrenched in the GOF family lexicon.  From the verb "to farnarkle" it was coined in Australia back in the days when television pictures only came in black and white.
It means to waste time, fart around, or otherwise indulge in an unproductive occupation.

For a brief time it was frivolously redeployed as the name for a team sport where underwear was worn on the outside of normal clothing.  This was however only a temporary perversion of its true etymology.

When Globet was born I tried my very best to ensure "farnarkle" was the very first word she would annunciate to the world.  It was not to be.  She was a miserable failure in that regard, merely siding with the masses by uttering something predictable like "mama" or "ice cream" through the dribble and bubbles.

A word which rolls so beautifully off the tongue obviously…

View original post 300 more words

Karmic Challenge Total Time!!! In Graphic Detail!!!

(Yep I really meant in Graphic Detail Rose)

Maybe for once I’ll let the numbers tell the story, Rose still climbs ever closer to her 500 points of Karmic Nirvana, will she slip up soon? Who can tell, but with someone as interesting as Rose we are all bound to hear about it on either of her two blogs LivingInFairyland or ButImBeautiful.

Me, well I’m going to continue chasing Karma and my own little battle for enlightenment.

So Today, What a Frustrating Day!

Today was a challenge, a very frustrating and challenging day. I’ve been working on reviewing and making recommendations of a major report that will soon be considered by a major Central Government Agency for public comment and release. I and several of my team, as well as a number of other managers, have been slaving away like drones on it, working our typing fingers to the bone, researching, consulting, and drafting the response to this position paper.

And like some kind of endless waterboarding exercise we have been subjected to a marathon of continual redrafts by the various layers of management that infest my workplace like some kind of ravenous bug bladdered beasts of hell…

(Me, or what I probably looked like, during the process of continual redrafting, ARRRGH! #$@##@$#$)

In the end what did it all this redrafting come down to? What caused all the angst and endless redrafting?

Well it certainly wasn’t the content of the final recommendations, not my teams’ critique of current policies, procedures and legislation. NO, it all came down to semantics, stupid weasel words that managers feel have to be put in so that no report ever actually says anything.

So is this document finished?

Heck no, it’s going through one more redraft, I find out tomorrow what needs to redrafted next… May the final reviewer suffer a brain haemorrhage, or maybe their own stomach rises up their windpipe and throttles them, and then someone else with some common sense justs decides to sign the damn thing off! There is always hope 🙂

So NO I didn’t earn any Karma today, especially not for what I would like to do to my management team…

Capt. Savage

(Almost tempted to go Postal, if only Australia had liberal gun laws… And YES I am only JOKING)

(This is more like what I want to be doing)

kArMiC ChAlLeNgE wEeK 18, and now for something completely different!!!

If only I could do or arrange something as good as this…

But this week as has been dominated by myself, re-prioritisation, decisions, changes, mostly all to do with me. So how the heck does this help with my Karma quest?

Well it is kind of like a new beginning, a metaphorical wiping of the slate clean. And this journey has only just begun, and yes I know you shouldn’t start a sentence with And!!! But my days of drone like conformity are coming to an end. Gone is my tie (except when I really really have to), gone are commitments entered into because I thought they would make someone else happy. Not that this means that Capt. Savage has turned into a self-centred misogynist, egotist, elitist, narcissist (only when I’m looking in a mirror), pragmatist (ok this one is partly me), separatist, or even leftist lunatic (well maybe just a little bit), but I have decided that I am going to be less of a PleaseSomeoneElseTist.

And Yes, sometimes I was a shameless apologist…

NO MORE… I want to break free!!!

Maybe I’ll do it without cross-dressing, just maybe…

So now that my journey of change has begun, my hope is that wherever I end up at least one person will be happy, yep it’ll be me, and maybe my new pussycat.

Now what does the Dalai Lama have to say about gaining Karma? And I am fair dinkum Rose (excuse my Aussie), I am going to try to fit a fair few of these in from now on.

Instructions for Life by the Dalai Lama

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
   
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
   
3. Follow the three R’s:
   – Respect for self,
   – Respect for others and
   – Responsibility for all your actions.
   
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
   
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
   
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great relationship.
   
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
   
8. Spend some time alone every day.
   
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
   
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
    
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and
    think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
    
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
    
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
    
14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality.
    
15. Be gentle with the earth.
    
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
    
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
    
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
    
19. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.
    
20. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
    

Ask The Dalai Lama a Question

So Week 18 in Karma

Well the only good deed I really did for anyone else was rescuing my new pussycat ‘Tabitha’ from the RSPCA animal adoption centre. That included a very generous donation, joining the RSPCA, and a heap of accessories for Tabitha.

Girl on the right was the lovely person who sealed the deal between me and Tabitha

So according to Rose I deserve some points, maybe 5, because in Karmic terms this has been a pretty mediocre one. But I think for rescuing Tabitha, maybe this is fairer. Plus I made you and Miss M a lovely soup…

25 points, sound fair enough?

Over to you Rose, how did you do?

Capt. Savage

(Makes a mean vegetable soup, even if it’s straight from my mum’s cooking on a budget cookbook)

Guitar, Music, Ouch, Why do my fingers hurt so much?

(Antoine Dufour – Ashes in the Sea – www.candyrat.com)

I love listening to the acoustic guitar, and well on an impulse I went and bought myself a 6 string steel string guitar. I thought this won’t be too hard, just a little practice.

So I enrolled in an online guitar site to get some lessons, and set aside some time to practice, and well it all started off ok until the PAIN set in… See picture of figures below…

This is what my fingers look like, well these aren’t actually my fingers, but you get the idea…

God I wish learning the guitar was not soooooo damn painful. Me, silly old Capt. (and no I am not Capt. Feathersword), why did I decide it would be easy to take up the guitar? Goals are slightly more humble than this very talented guitarist (Antoine Dufour), but as I go on week by week my fingers are getting sorer and sorer (insert heaps of sympathy here please).

Now I would have taken a photo of my own fingers instead of using a stock photo, but looking at them scares me too much, (insert even more sympathy here PPPPLLEASE).

Maybe this guy can help me, he’s blind and he’s my guitar hero… And yes this clip is on the Sesame Street set…

And as I am discovering, the more I practice the more they hurt… Why does pleasure (learning a musical instrument) have to involve sooo much pain. Guitars should come with a finger health warning, typing this blog post is pure agony, but only on my left hand luckily. Will I ever be able to feel with my fingers again?

So has anyone else reading this gone down this painful road before, or am I just being a big wimp? Any suggestions to help ease my finger pain?

Ok, maybe I’ve done enough whining for now, back to practicing. My only other wish is that after all this practice, you’d think the cat would begin to appreciate the effort!!! Instead of running off and hiding every time I reach for the guitar.

Maybe soon the calouses will get really hard, and the pain will start to go away.

Capt. Savage

(I’m soaking my fingers in ice tonight)

The pleasures of a Pussy (Cat)

What is more relaxing
Than sitting home alone?
Sitting on my sofa
With a cat to warm my bones!!!
This wonderful addition
To my quiet little place
Well she’s playful as a kitten
But when her purr begins to race
Its something between a buzz-saw
And a very loud V8
But I love my new-found fur-ball
Even though I’ve just found out
That I really do not own her
No, not the slightest bit
For she only uses me for food
And to tickle her while she sits

CS

VIDEO: Dent May – “Do Things” (Acoustic)

Such a simple guitar riff, combined with simple yet haunting lyrics, really like this. CS

If you’ve never heard of DENT MAY before, there’s a good chance that the Oxford, MS songwriter will haunt the rest of your summer with his infatuating blend of wavy, laid-back pop rock. It’s not quite west coast or east coast but songs like “Do Things” have a more southern tinge to them that floats with bliss and provokes videos – like the clip above where May serenades a sunset before his performance in Toronto – to add colour to their simplicity. 

Dent May’s new record Do Things is available almost everywhere via Paw Tracks

View original post