Karmic Hairiness here I come…

THE CHALLENGE. A man (Captain Savage – a man who is about to become less hairy). A woman (the beautiful Rose). A quest. To earn enough karmic points by Christmas to be reincarnated as Something Nice. Ok I think I’m back on track, maybe this week I could be a lemur, they seem to have so much fun…

Those tails are just so cute, and those orange eyes…

Well what has happened during Week 30?

This week has been a week of Savage achievement, well not for this particular Savage, but for the lovely and engaging little Miss J…  as her dad, I am just so proud…

My daughter has always been the apple of my eye, and I’m enormously proud of her, as I’m sure all fathers are, in a most one-eyed fashion. But this week is rather special for me in relation to Miss J. Every time I spend time with her I encourage her reading, I even bought her a Kindle and loaded it up with nearly 100 classic books (from the dead writers society, you know the free ones), plus also a lot of kids type books too.

Miss J took to reading like a duck to water and at first I read to her, then we read together, with me putting on silly character voices, now Miss J reads to me, and does a really good job of it too. And at 8 years of age she is reading books I didn’t read until I was much older. She is currently reading Moby Dick, and not the comic book version either.

No, this isn’t Miss J, but you get the idea…

Not only is she good at reading, she writes pretty well as well, much better than I do, at least so she tells me whenever she get the chance. She has already been a contributor to this blog, refer… The Crazy Dream, which was her first contribution.

Then there is her sometimes infuriating habit of being quicker than my calculator at working out mathematics… Nobody likes a smarty-pants Miss J…

This would be her if she had half a chance, up showing off…

So why are you so proud of Miss J this week?

Well this week my ex-wife received my daughter’s NAPLAN report from her school… And she (Miss J) did really good… Better than even I, as her ever proud daddy, could have hoped…

Say What Capt., Her what? report?

Her NAPLAN report, ok, well it’s The National Assessment Program – Literacy and Numeracy (NAPLAN) and is an annual assessment for students in Years 3, 5, 7 and 9. It is an everyday part of the school calendar and has been since 2008. NAPLAN tests the sorts of skills that are essential for every child to progress through school and life, such as reading, writing, spelling and numeracy.

Little Miss J has been assessed as being in the top 1% of kids of her age for reading, creative writing and mathematical ability, I was totally blown away…

And I am so proud of you Miss J

So now Miss J is being given opportunities for special tutoring and extra classes, and I know where she gets it from… Well I’ll keep telling myself that regardless Rose…

So I must be doing something right?

But there is one little white cloud on the sunny horizon for little Miss J, she is cursed like me with the same issues that I suffered from at school, and which made me sometimes be, to quote fake Roman, Mr Sporticus Clumsicus.

My parents often wondered how the hell I lived through my childhood sometimes. But I’m kind of hopeful that little Miss J can, just like I eventually did, learn to make the most of her limited sporting capacity. Yes I eventually made the school athletics and cross-country teams (I think they were desperate actually). I would also have made the curly-headed, shortsighted, nerd team too, but they didn’t want to own up to having that team at my school.

So what about Karma for this week Capt?

Well, obviously this week I want to be reincarnated as Miss J, and hopefully live a highly successful life as a child prodigy/genius…

But actually I think I have earned a few Karmic Coins from the fountain.

Here we go, a few coins in a very famous fountain…

I have added to my collection of Karmic Karma raising activities by once again becoming a MoBro…

A Mo-What Capt?

Well every year for the last 9 years I have been shaving my face clean on the 1st of November and then growing a variety of hairy caterpillars on my upper lip, yep, growing Moustaches for Movember.

Here are a couple of lovely examples of Movember Moustaches

And what is Movember about?

During November each year, Movember is responsible for the sprouting of moustaches on thousands of men’s faces in Australia and around the world. The aim of which is to raise vital funds and awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer and male mental health.

Registering at www.movember.com, guys then start Movember 1st with a clean-shaven face and then for the rest of the month, these selfless and generous men known as Mo Bros, groom, trim and wax their way into the annals of fine moustachery. Supported by the women in their lives, Mo Sistas, Movember Mo Bros raise funds by seeking out sponsorship for their Mo growing efforts.

Mo Bros effectively become walking, talking billboards for the 30 days of November and through their actions and words raise awareness by prompting private and public conversation around the often ignored issue of men’s health.

At the end of the month, Mo Bros and their female supporters (known as Mo Sistas) celebrate their gallantry and valor by either throwing their own Movember party or attending one of the infamous Gala Partés held around the world by Movember, for Movember.

Want to help me to raise money for Movember?

Well you can, I have just set up my fundraising page, still got to finish putting up info and arrange my own Movember events, but you are welcome to chip in and support men’s health. My Movember site is at http://mobro.co/TheSavageMO, check it out!!!

How has the Beautiful Rose gone, well in a Karmic Sense? (She’s been gone in a few other senses for a while now…)

Well Rose has been fully occupied with lots and lots of things, all which are earning her mountains of Karma. She has taken her son, the incredibly debonair and intelligent (intimidatingly) Mr F, on an expedition to the beautiful Blue Mountains (where else would someone as beautiful as Rose go?).

The Three Sisters in the Blue Mountains

Rose has been doing wonderful things with the gorgeous and delightfully cheeky (shows no respect for us adults at all) Miss M.

She has also been doing heaps and heaps for her family…

As well as cleaning her house and getting it all fixed up too…

Let’s just admit it, Rose has been a very busy little vegemite!!!

See a Happy Little Vegemite, even has Rosy cheeks Rose…

So Week 30, what’s the score?

Well I’ll leave that up to the delicious Rose, what do you reckon I should put in for our scores?

Week No. Week Ending Rose’s Weekly Tally Rose’s Running Total Capt’s Weekly Tally Capt’s Running Total
15

4/07/2012

200

406

50

205

16

11/07/2012

10

416

15

220

17

18/07/2012

10

426

20

240

18

25/07/2012

5

431

25

265

19

1/08/2012

5

436

20

285

20

8/08/2012

10

446

25

310

21

15/08/2012

15

461

30

340

22

22/08/2012

1

462

15

355

23

29/08/2012

1

463

15

370

24

5/09/2012

1

464

15

385

25

12/09/2012

1

465

15

400

26

19/09/2012

1

466

15

415

27

26/09/2012

1

467

15

430

28

3/10/2012

1

468

15

445

29

10/10/2012

1

469

5

450

30

17/10/2012

?

#VALUE!

?

#VALUE!

Come on Rose, what’s the score?

Capt. Savage

Soon to be hairy lipped (Moustached)

Help me pick my Movember style below…




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Good weather for ducks!!!

Ok, so why the pictures of ducks and floods Capt. Savage? And why ducks and floods in Queensland?

Well I am on holidays with my three kids up in Queensland, on the “Sunshine Coast’ which, according to the advertising campaigns extolling the virtues of Queensland, is ‘Beautiful one day and Perfect the next’. And it must be true, because I drove past the sign below on the way to Queensland.

I’m also here with Rose, who is part wood duck I think, but I’ll get to that story later. It has been great having her here as an extra set of hands, well actually it has been fantastic (thanks Rose!!), and also my daughter is no longer the only girl which is great for her too (plus for me).


(this sign should be enough evidence for me to take Queensland to court for false advertising!

Yep, since Rose, the kids and I arrived here it practically hasn’t stopped raining. Sunny it isn’t, but has it been bad all the time?

Well to be totally honest it hasn’t been that bad at all, once I got over the idea that you have to keep dry. Rose was the first one to get over that fact it was raining all the time. She is a very independent soul really, and decided to take off to the shops. The day before she had gone with my daughter in my car (but apparently hated it). Now I quite like my car, it’s comfortable, it’s large and bloke-ish due to it largeness (us guys are into our SUVs). But not Rose, to her it’s apparently like driving a Sherman tank… Not the most pleasant or easy experience for her (she drives a zippy little buzzbox thing).


Here is someone driving a Sherman tank… And don’t those big goggles look sooooo cute

Now with all of this wet weather we have spent quite bit of time indoors at the holiday unit we are staying at, and in shopping centres, and in the car, and in fact anywhere where it wasn’t wet (except by our choosing). We had even managed to jump in the heated pool at the place we are staying at, although heated is a loose term in this case. I think that there was just enough heating to reduce the incidence of polar bears and icebergs to close to zero, but not much else…


Nope, there were no polar bears or balding old men in our swimming pool (apart from me)

So Rose was getting a bit of cabin fever, she is not really an indoors kind of women I’ve noticed, so sick of being in prison with me, she decided to dash off for a spot of shopping (you know girls can’t help themselves). Just then the manager of the resort, which is a loose term in Queensland describing anything vaguely like accommodation, paid a visit attempting to find the cartoon network on the satellite channels (the kids had some of Rose’s cabin fever too). Rose said she wouldn’t mind going to the nearby shops and asked how could she get there, well apparently there was a ferry service, she could take me car (the Sherman tank), there was a bus, and of course you could always walk (only around 20-30 minutes). But as the man pointed out, it was raining.

Rose, never one for the easier option, decided to walk, the fact that it hadn’t stopped raining or looked likely to wasn’t going to deter Rose the Amazon. So on went her all-weather anorak, and into the storm strode Rose.


This could have been Rose except her coat wasn’t Red…

So an hour or two later a drowned rat turned up at the door to the unit, shopping expedition complete, puddles forming everywhere she stood, and triumphant having found suitable gifts for her family and even an adorable little butterfly necklace for my little cutiepie (Miss J).

But the image of a rain-soaked Rose, well it was kind of infectious. After lunch we were persuaded to go for a little walk outside with the intrepid explorer Rose. The fact that the rain was still pouring down, well did we care? Well to begin with YES, and once it started to come down heavier I thought enough is enough, let’s go back inside.

But instead we discovered that once you get a little bit wet, why should you stop there, soon we were all walking along the waterfront getting thoroughly drenched. Next we were starting to splash in puddles, then jump in them, and in the end we were walking in the gutters just to get a bit more wet.


This was us, off jumping in puddles

My kids haven’t had so much fun in ages and we ran, jumped, danced, sang our way along the street just having a ball. We even went jumping down onto the beach sand and were even tempted to jump straight into the water (but we held off on that one). But it is amazing that once you are soaked, getting a little bit wetter doesn’t bother you at all.

So what do you do when you are thoroughly soaked, well you jump into the pool don’t you. Or better still you jump into a hot tub, which is where we all ended up.


Rose was probably hoping that this dude was in the hot tub rather than me, but we all have to make sacrifices…

So was our wet old Tuesday on the Sunshine Coast fun? You bet…

Will we be doing it again? Yep can’t wait, the kids had a great time, and so did dad. I’m not so sure about Rose, but the hot tub was warm which maybe helped to defrost her a bit from her epic wetland tour.

And before I forget, there has been Karma Karma by the bucketload… Yep I’ll do a Karma post tonight, more to tell.

CS

(just 3 more days in paradise with the kids and Rose left)

Back in the Saddle Again

Who does American country and western better than the Japanese?

It has been ages since I have been out on the town looking to chat up women. Not that I haven’t wanted to, it’s just that in the past I’ve always hunted in packs, i.e. with other mates. Since my divorce I’ve relied on the tried and tested, introduced by a friend method and the other obvious alternative, the internet. Both haven’t been that successful, not that I haven’t been out on quite a few dates or haven’t ended up meeting someone who I ended up having a fling with. But that was the extent of it, taking women out for dates, trying to think of things to say over a glass of wine or dinner, or fitting in conversation at the movies.

I personally hate internet dating, it is so impersonal to be rejected before you even get to meet up. Or to go and have coffee or a glass of wine, just to see if we hit it off. In a way I long for the good old pre-internet night on the town with friends, talking to people but having others around with you (for support). I’ve never been comfortable just going out by myself on the prowl, but what alternative do I have with the majority of my friends all married or still bitter and twisted after their divorces, regardless none of them want to go out looking for women.

Now my best friend (who’s a girl by the way) thought of a different approach to ‘get back in the saddle’ so to speak. She thought it would be a great idea if we went out together and both tried to pick-up people with the express aim of collecting rejections. This was initially discussed as a kind of anti-internet dating experiment, and I’m pretty good at getting told where to go by women, so maybe this could work.

Yep I’ve had a few rejections in my time

So I agreed to this challenge and thought, why not? But I really hadn’t thought this through, or even started to understand how I’d cope with this, but more of that later. But my friend was very persuasive, and it sounded a great idea to have her there to fall back on after I’d received a slap in the face or been told where to go. I even sounded kind of sounded fun, to go out with the specific idea of seeking out rejections, rather than worrying about whether the women involved would say yes or no, just do it regardless.

The evening started off fine, I got dressed in what we had decided was my best woman hunting gear, see the picture below.

Would you go out with this man? Looks like an axe murder I think…

My friend was going to come and pick me up and we were going to have dinner first at a little Thai restaurant not far from our intended hunting site, which was to be the night club at the local Casino. Things went as planned, well maybe as expected. She was late (as usual), but not that it really mattered, as a leopard can’t really change her spots (oh I’m going to cop it for that one).

The restaurant was fine, if a bit noisy (or maybe I’m just going deaf). We sat and discussed tactics for the night, and the general things we normally chat about. This felt very reassuring, to be with a close friend, relaxing over dinner, I almost felt keen to get going.

But then the first hiccup, the nightclub at our chosen venue wasn’t open on Friday nights (so much for our extensive research). So a bit of hurried discussion and we decided to head for an Irish pub not far from the Casino called King O’Malley’s, which always has a band on Friday nights.

A Typical Friday night at King O’Malley’s

So we arrived, me in my fake leather jacket and the coolest looks I could muster, and my friend who was ready for a night on the prowl. Shock horror as I walked into the place all of my bravado and confidence evaporated like sweat on the brow of a condemned man. While my friend started off the game like a polished professional I found that I just couldn’t get started.

I realised that I hadn’t thought this through, that I was totally out of my comfort zone, didn’t even know where to start really. You see I’ve never gone out with the express purpose of getting rejected. I always sit there pondering which women is the least likely to reject me and end up asking them up for a dance or if they want a drink. This concept of asking anyone was just not my normal way, not even remotely. Secondly, I am just a little bit older than when I last went out chasing women, well nearly 20 years older, but who’s counting. Things have changed just a little since the 80’s and 90’s, just a little.

Strangely however the music hadn’t, the cover band on the night was playing music that could have come from my own CD collection (or even my records god forbid). Not that that was a bad thing, it wasn’t bad music and most people were on the dance floor having a good time.

Soon my friend and I were dancing and she was getting a bit pushy, trying to get me to keep up my end of the rejection equation. Soon it was 2 to nothing her way, not that my friend was getting rejected every time, she was actually 1-1, although the guy who said yes was definitely doing a bit of cougar chasing. But that’s understandable as my friend is a pretty good-looking women, so it was no surprise to me that she had leapt into the lead.

My usual targets… Although maybe not this creative with their clothing options…

So did I eventually get off my fat butt and go and ask someone to dance? Yes I did, and strangely enough she actually said yes, and it felt kind of good too.

Did I get rejected? Well Der, obviously, but not by the expected targets, by the women who in my past I would have seen as the easy marks. The one who said yes to a dance wasn’t too bad-looking at all, in my past life she would have been the one I wouldn’t have asked (for fear of rejection).

So did I have a good time? Yes I did in the end, once Rose had cajoled, prodded, pushed, and embarrassed me into doing something.

And will I be doing this experiment again? Yes can’t wait, bring it on, although I’m not sure how I’m going to get home if my partner in crime is as successful as she was, I think I could end up getting a taxi alone… But what the hell, I am sure I will have had a good time regardless.

What was the eventual score? Rose 3 -1 (that I know about) and me 3-2, that’s 3 attempts to 2 rejections.

Capt. Savage

(Thanks Rose for sticking with me!!! And saying I’m good-looking! I need to borrow your rose-coloured glasses)

This would have been me dancing at King O’Malley’s, if I’d remembered to get someone to take a picture…