Is there a right way to end things?

Is there a right way to end things?

Personally I’ve haven’t found one yet, and god I wish some of the women who have dumped me had that magic ‘gentle’ way to call it quits. For me however, it always jumps up and slaps me in the face, or I find myself slapping them in the face no matter how much I try to do it otherwise. Somehow endings for me always end up like some cheap movie script, with an evil bad guy and there is always an innocent victim…

So how have people ended it with you Capt?

This brings me onto another Top 10 list… And yes, I know it’s surprising Rose that 10 women have rolled my particular set of dice, of course this is assuming they all were women (god if only my life was that interesting). Some of these breakups may have happened to me, but I’ll let you be the judge.

So let’s me count down my top 10 breakups, starting at 10

10. Getting it via email… God I hate that… or worse still via bloody Facebook, and yes someone did end it with me by FB, but maybe I shouldn’t have announced that we were an item on FB in the first place. Guess I removed the deniability factor, and that apparently scared the crap out of them.

9. Tell me that I’m crap in the sack, now this may have some truth in it, but don’t tell everyone else about my lack of sexual prowess before you bother to mention it to me. Hasn’t anyone heard of natural justice…

8. Decide that the best way to get rid of me is to start cheating on me, and then have it off with another bloke in the back room of the café that we were partners in, and the operative word was WERE… That’s why I hate men who are good with languages, or in his case he was a pretty cunning linguist… at least that’s what he was practicing I think, in the backroom with my ex…

7. ‘”Do you want the good news or the bad news… ” Seriously, that is NOT how to tell someone its over.

6. Just leave one day and never come back, it would have been ok if you’d paid the bills and used a real name for the utilities account, instead of Zaphod Beeblebrox. Yep, someone I shared a place with actually persuaded people to connect up the gas, electricity and phone, using Zaphod as an alias (in case you don’t know who I mean, he was a character in Douglas Adams‘ ‘Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe’. The picture above is Zaphod with the ultimate in plastic surgery, yep he wanted an extra head…

5. “So, the good news is, it’s treatable with antibiotics… “Finding out that you just got something horrible from your lover generally does it for me, no words required.

4. Nothing says “we’re over” like a good old-fashioned brawl in the middle of a family BBQ. Bring a chair… words hurt, but broken bones hurt more.

3. A bloody singing telegram… And yes I am old enough to remember (and have received) a telegram. Although, honestly, this was probably the worst way to deliver any message.

2. Leave a voicemail message on their answering machine, not fair, and then disconnect your phone so that I can’t call you… Oh, and of course move out, all at the same time… I suppose I should thank you, at least it made hating you a lot easier.

1. Ok, so here is something that’s novel, you could actually try being mature and tell me that you just don’t feel the same anymore. There is literally nothing as soul-crushing as the truth I can tell you. Also, it leaves me wondering what game you’re trying to play with my head, god honesty it’s just unheard of. Voila! You’ve ruined my love life for a good 8 months or so!

So what is the worst way that someone has broken up with you?

Capt. Savage

(Zaphod, and if I ever find you…)

The Capt. Hits the Karmic Accelerator… Week 29 on Steriods… And no concerns about anti-doping tests

THE CHALLENGE. A man (Captain Savage – a man with a Pink heart). A woman (Rose). A quest. To earn enough karmic points by Christmas to be reincarnated as Something Nice. Ok so maybe I’ve been a bit slack, but now I’m seeing Pink…

Ah Rose, you are such an inspiration to me…

Let me count the ways…

Well there is Mr. L, who you visit and who is now enjoying see you much more since the weather is allowing you to wear clothing that reveals more of Rosy-ness, see Week 27 – Wear a Low Cut Dress for Jesus!, for more sordid details. And I know what a trial Mr. L can be for you, just cast your mind back to… The Karmic Challenge – Week 19′s Bloodthirsty Pensioner Strikes Again!! .

Then there are the many causes you support such as the two kids you sponsor, see kounting-the-karma for details. Let’s also not forget the lovely old lady you visited prior to Mr. L.

Then of course there are your many animal causes, such as your recent ‘Anti Live Sheep Exports’ activities.

Rose joined the throng (mostly women I noticed), protesting violently (in the rain)

Also, there is the food you generously gave to the Cat Lady (the women who refused to part with one of her pussies to me), see Karmic Challenge – the Second Week! With lots and lots of pussy tails (and the rest of the cats as well).

Too be honest there are just too many Karmic efforts Rose for me to count them all, last but not least is your preservation and support of glue factory candidates, i.e. your own lovely little Clipsie, who you bought for your daughter to ride from someone who forgot to tell you she was blind. Many other people would have done otherwise, but you kept her, and are still making sure she is looked after.

Here is Clipsie with the divine Miss M and one of her friends

SO Rose, where will all this Karma take you? What reincarnation awaits you?

———————————————-

Well Capt, How about your Karmic struggle this week?

The other day I started to think about how fortunate I am to be alive, I know that sounds a bit morbid, but quite a few friends, relatives of friends, and members of my family, have been taken by the big “C” (Cancer).

SO this week I decided to burn rubber on my side of the Karmic Challenge…

So when someone suggested the idea of running a Pink Ribbon Breakfast, I leapt at the idea, well not the Breakfast bit, I like getting into work after breakfast, not for breakfast. So I decided that a morning tea would be better, so at the moment I am madly running around my workplace arranging a venue and people to make things for the morning tea.

Maybe this is something people will be munching at my Pink Ribbon Morning Tea…

Ok, so what is Pink Ribbon Day all about?

National Pink Ribbon Day is the major fund-raising activity of the National Breast Cancer Foundation in Australia. People can buy pins, badges, wristbands or just donate money to support cancer research.

Who does the money go to?

To the National Breast Cancer Foundation (NBCF) who are the leading community-funded organisation in Australia raising money for research into the prevention and cure of breast cancer. The NBCF works with the public and other sponsors to raise funds and to support cancer research.

Since the NBCF was established in 1994, $81 million has been awarded to fund over 300 Australian-based research projects across every state and territory to improve the health and wellbeing of those affected by breast cancer.

Their goal is to achieve zero death from breast cancer by 2030. With 38 Australians diagnosed each day and eight losing their battle, there is still much to do.

(Note it’s a Morning Tea not a Breakfast)

My Aim is?

To raise $1,000 for the National Breast Cancer Foundation (at a minimum). You can support my Morning Tea by making donations at… Support Capt. Savage’s Pink Ribbon Day Morning Tea

Yep, there will be plenty of clinking of cups and saucers at my Pink Ribbon Day Morning Tea…

What other Karmic Efforts have you made this week Capt?

Well, almost inspired by Rose, I’ve decided to do my best to support a horse event, well actually more accurately I’ve volunteered to help run a Melbourne Cup luncheon.

OK, so what is the Melbourne Cup?

The Melbourne cup is the horse race that practically stops a nation (Australia if you hadn’t guessed). You can get more details at this Melbourne Cup link.

Here are a couple of likely candidates riding in the Melbourne Cup last year…

I’m not sure that Rose will actually approve of this little effort, as it’s probably more about exploitation of horses than supporting them, but you never know, maybe she’ll join me at the luncheon on the day? Chicken and Champagne anyone?

So Rose, why don’t we make the target 750 points by Christmas, are you game enough?

Well I haven’t compared notes with Rose, but given our collective scores I think we need to bump the target. Because surely Rose you are already inline to be reincarnated as the woman who won the lottery, or married Bill Gates (but a hairier, more muscular, less nerdy version, but still EXTREMELY rich). I can picture you now, living out your days on your idyllic country retreat, surrounded by cuddly animals, and lots and lots of grandkids… (this concept probably would scare the pants off Miss M I think).

So What is the Karmic Tally for this week?

Week No. Week Ending Rose’s Weekly Tally Rose’s Running Total Capt’s Weekly Tally Capt’s Running Total
15 4/07/2012 200 406 50 205
16 11/07/2012 10 416 15 220
17 18/07/2012 10 426 20 240
18 25/07/2012 5 431 25 265
19 1/08/2012 5 436 20 285
20 8/08/2012 10 446 25 310
21 15/08/2012 15 461 30 340
22 22/08/2012 1 462 15 355
23 29/08/2012 1 463 15 370
24 5/09/2012 1 464 15 385
25 12/09/2012 1 465 15 400
26 19/09/2012 1 466 15 415
27 26/09/2012 1 467 15 430
28 3/10/2012 1 468 15 445
29 10/10/2012  ?? Rose  ?? Capt.

Capt. Savage

(Don’t forget, donations to Capt. Savage’s Pink Breakfast are more than welcome at Capt. Savage’s Pink Ribbon Morning Tea)

Karmic Better Late Than Never Post… Week??

Here is the Dalai Lama doing a bit of finger waving at naughty Capt. Savage

THE CHALLENGE. A man (Captain Savage – a very slack person). A woman (Rose). A quest. To earn enough karmic points by Christmas to be reincarnated as Something Nice. The way I am going at the moment I will be coming back as a 3 toed sloth…

So where the heck have you been Capt. Savage? Why no posts for ages?

To be honest I have been in a bit of a downer since my kids went home the other week, watching them fly back to Queensland really was gut wrenching. The kids had just stayed with me for a week in Canberra, and while it wasn’t the best holiday I’ve spent with the kids, I did feel torn up when I had to drop them off at the departure lounge and I watched my daughter run off to be with her mum and her new partner.

I shouldn’t feel sad, as I enjoyed my time with the kids and I know that their mother cares just as much as I do for the kids and they should be glad to see her and their stepfather, but logic doesn’t always triumph over emotions and your heart.

I took the kids to a few playgrounds, down to the Cotter River with Rose and her 3 dogs. The dogs didn’t care that the water was cold, they had a great time. Rose kindly took my daughter for a wander amongst the rocks, as I’d forgotten to bring my thongs (footwear for those unfamiliar, not the other sort).

So here are some photos from the week with the kids.

Here are the boys playing around by the Cotter River near Canberra, looks nice and warm but the water was freezing

Here is Rose, notice that the photo is suitably blurry, not sure what I was doing wrong that day, my expensive Nikon DSLR was taking terrible pictures (couldn’t be the operator??). It is a lovely spot really, as is Rose…

Here are the kids at an adventure playground about 15 minutes from home, Mr. J just wasn’t interested

Here is Mr. B going down the big slippery slide at the playground, and not too sure about it either

And here is Miss. J going down, more worried about her hat than the slide really

The even bigger slide that Mr. B just wouldn’t go down, no matter how many time Miss. J did it

Miss. J doing what she does best, showing off while balancing on one leg on a fake lizard

Mr. B on top of Canberra’s Telecom (Telstra) Tower, god it was windy that day, I’d just been running around trying to get Mr. B’s hat (I’m holding it while shooting this shot)

And here is Miss. J a.k.a. ‘Eskimo Girl’ trying to get out of the wind

Ok, so you have been feeling a bit low, but that’s no excuse for not doing your Karmic Post Capt!!!

Yep, I agree with Rose, who has been quietly able to do Karmic Posts while I have been acting like a bit like a hermit in my little cave (my unit). And actually doing a web post is kind of therapy rather than torture, although some of my attempts at poetry can be quite torturous I’m told.

So how did we fair Karmically (don’t think that’s actually a word Capt.) over the last few weeks?

Well Rose is so Karmic that she is already almost at her target of 500 points… and she still has nearly 3 months to go. So using the law of diminishing returns, I’ve decided to make it harder for you Rose, and also to allow me some faint hope of catching you before December. So I’ve given you a point for each week, generous I think. And for Me, well I used my weekly average up to now (15)… Creative accounting at its best I reckon Rose.

Week No.

Week Ending

Rose’s Weekly Tally

Rose’s Running Total

Capt’s Weekly Tally

Capt’s Running Total

15

4/07/2012

200

406

50

205

16

11/07/2012

10

416

15

220

17

18/07/2012

10

426

20

240

18

25/07/2012

5

431

25

265

19

1/08/2012

5

436

20

285

20

8/08/2012

10

446

25

310

21

15/08/2012

15

461

30

340

22

22/08/2012

1

462

15

355

23

29/08/2012

1

463

15

370

24

5/09/2012

1

464

15

385

25

12/09/2012

1

465

15

400

26

19/09/2012

1

466

15

415

27

26/09/2012

1

467

15

430

28

3/10/2012

1

468

15

445

 

ANY COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE SCORES SHOULD BE DIRECTED TO THE HAND… AND IT AINT LISTENING…

One of my favourite silly movies, Sacha Baron Cohen at his best (or is that his worst)

And you really should keep yourselves abreast of Rose’s recent post, it was thrilling for good old Mr. L, who apparently needed oxygen afterwards, bring on summer I say… And no, wearing a similar outfit for me won’t give you any more points, although I’m not going to discourage you…

The Karmic Challenge: Week 27 – Wear a Low Cut Dress for Jesus! (great title Rose)

Plus I love the concept of Gucci the animal activist (only animals can be really, and yes I know Rose, we are animals too). Sorry that I let the wet weather keep me at home in my cave, but to be truthful I wasn’t the best of company recently.

Capt. Savage

(Finally out of his hermit cave and back blogging)

 

It’s a Celebration… Thanks to you all!!! And another Award for Rose…

Yes it’s a celebration…

Thanks for all the attention, I am just blushing really…

Sydney really knows how to celebrate new Year, the glorious coat hanger in the background (that’s the Sydney Harbour Bridge for you non-Sydney people)

Ok Capt. What the heck are you talking about?

Well this week my humble little blog passed the following milestones, and excuse my little bit of trumpet blowing and celebrating, but this week (as of posting and now updated):

  • The blog just passed 500 likes
  • There are now over 70 followers of this blog (72 73 to be exact)
  • 658 666 comments have been made (ok maybe 50% of them were replies by me)
  • This is my 125 post
  • I have 38 blog followers on Twitter
  • I have 10 blog followers on Facebook
  • This has been my busiest month on the blog (667  700 views) and I still have a day to go!!!
  • And there has been 3,141 3,180 views of the blog in total (and 700 for August alone)
  • And my daily average has just hit 23 overall and 28 for this week…

I really appreciate you taking the time to read my blog entries, I really do!!!

This all started off as a little experiment on my behalf, and very much as a result of prompting from my dear friend Rose from http://butimbeautiful.wordpress.com/. I never really thought that anyone could be bothered to read my dribble, but here I am 8 months later still blogging (started this blog in January this year), and I’m loving it.

So thanks Rose, thank you for giving me a whole new outlet, and it’s been a great release.

So Rose to honour your inspiration,

I Award You (Drum Roll Please)

The Inaugural Capt. Savage Blogger Inspiration Award…

Ta Da…

Here is my alter-ego, ready and waiting to award you…

So what mindless things do you have to do now?

So what do you have to do in return for this most prestigious and one of a kind award?

Well Rose, I expect you to do the following 5 things (and as usual in no particular order)

  1. Break the new ban on doing hand stands (and post the picture on your blog), see http://www.abc.net.au/local/stories/2012/08/28/3577470.htm

     

  2. Put up a YouTube video of yourself dancing on your blog (that should be entertaining)

     

  3. Explain to me why my vacuum cleaner has never been the same since you borrowed it (I’m sure it’s the liposuction)

     

  4. Sit and watch the Jason Bourne Trilogy with me (without falling asleep)

     

  5. And nominate a Gazillion other bloggers for this most prestigious, soon to be no longer unique, award.

And Yes Rose, it’s your fault that I am now addicted to blogging…

And by the way, sorry I still haven’t done my weekly Karmic Challenge post, I’m a slacker I know.

Ok, maybe I only put in this clip cause Alanis Morissette is running around in the nude, and it’s a weird clip, but the title sounded appropriate at the time ok!!!

Thank YOU

Thank you fellow bloggers for taking the time the taking the time to read my blog, it is only my mad ramblings, but I enjoy it and that’s all that matters. The fact that others also take the time to read it too is just icing on my cake, so thanks!!!

Capt. Savage

(Aiming for 5,000 page views and 100 followers by 31 December, 2012)

The Capt. Savage Dating Wheel of Fortune

So how was your day Capt?

Well over the last few days I have been giving the old Internet Dating ‘Wheel of Fortune’ a spin.

It all started off ok, I had a lovely bunch just down the road from my house. It was another of my ‘wheel of fortune’ dates, where the intrepid Capt. Spins the wheel and sees what the dating gods have offered up for him. This time it was Miss S, who was a lovely and interesting lady, a truly dedicated person who apparently works tirelessly for charity, was very funny and entertaining, and has a pussy cat just like I do.

We shared brunch and chatted and all was going great, until, and there is always an ‘until’, the subject of my recently cultivated beard came up. You see, none of my photos on the dating site have me wearing a beard. Apparently according to Miss S, beards are a bit old hat, don’t you think they make you look old, I’d be worried about that if I was you…

I was starting to feel just a tad offended at this point, as I am desperately trying to achieve my ultimate beard look, and here are a few of my role models, what do you think?

George, Pierce and Daniel, what hunks… And with a beard I look so much like them!

Anyway, beards make you look manlier… And I’m not taking it off just because some stupid date thinks I should… Na Na De Na Na…

So, once I had settled down from the beard discussion, we moved onto children. Now I have three of my own, who incidentally don’t live with me, but who I do visit every school holidays for at least a week at a time. I love kids, especially my kids…

Well Miss S also has kids and first off she told me about her two foster children, but that was ok as they are all grown up and moved out of home. But I got the sense that I hadn’t reach the end of this story, so after a bit of probing she then told me about her 5 other children… At this point I started to do my accounting thing, ‘Say what, you have 7 children?’… And I broke out into a cold sweat…

And I started having flashbacks of Steve Martin movies…

Cheaper by the dozen…

But I am being a little unfair, Miss S was a lovely lady and I walked away from our late brunch feeling like I’d like to have another session to see where things could go. Once again, it’s nice to go out with someone without any pressure, well apart from a few subtle beard removal hints…

So will you roll the dice with Miss S again? Yep probably, she was fun…

Next I visited my mates Mark and Heather, it’s always great to catch up with old friends and we had a coffee and they checked out my new car… We had coffee at a quaint little coffee shop, the type that is full of semi-antique furniture and the walls are covered in local painters semi-satisfactory efforts, and everthing including the furniture has a price tag on it.

This is the sort of ‘quaint’ I mean

That being said the company was great (my friends) and the coffee and the brownies weren’t too bad either.

I left the coffee shop and bid my friends a fond goodbye, promised not to leave it so long next time, and wandered to my car with a nice feeling and relaxed, all ready for my second date for the day…

What’s this Capt? 2 dates in the one day?

Yep, I’m building up to a movie script idea that I’ve been toying with, “3 dates and a funeral” or maybe considering how my recent dating history has been going, maybe “3 dating disasters and my own funeral”.

Miss K was a very interesting lady, as was the venue chosen by her. Normally I meet ladies at restaurants, coffee shops, bars, that sort of thing, well Miss K wanted to meet up in the main bar at the local Ex-Serviceman’s Club. It’s the kind of place that old pensioners and war veterans meet up at to talk about old times, maybe watch the football, and get drunk.

Yes, for everyone outside of Australia, there really is a Rooty Hill RSL club… And by the way the club I went to was not nearly as nice as this one…

So what was Miss K like Capt?

A picture tells a thousand words, so they say, and Miss K was worthy of probably more than that. I couldn’t find a suitable picture in my trolling of Google pics, but I suppose this was as close as I came to it.

She was perhaps this scary…

So why did you hang around?

Mainly because I just couldn’t work out what she was on about, or perhaps what she was on. She had everything going for her. I hadn’t picked up from her dating site profile that she smoked like a chimney, drank like a fish, she drank 3 schooners (375 ml) of beer while I was talking to her. She swore like a trooper and in the middle of the conversation, which was pretty one-sided (mostly her side), she told me she frequented chat rooms with men (the internet ones) and often stayed up doing this until 4-5 in the morning. All this while drinking beers and chain-smoking.

The ashtray was getting pretty full while we ‘chatted’

I thought that we had reached the bottom of her particular barrel when she told me that her husband had walked out on her with the kids because he couldn’t take her anymore. Apparently she had been sleeping around ‘a bit’.

By this time I had reached the end of my tolerance, and said that I had better get going, and felt like saying thanks for the free cigarettes (gained from all the smoke blown in my direction). But that’s when she suggested that maybe I would like to come home with her and, well do I really have to spell out the rest… This is when I nearly fell off my bar stool…

I wish I could have seen my own face…

After I picked my jaw off the floor, I said politely, no thanks… and I walked the lovely Miss K to my car and drove her home.

Will you be seeing Miss K again?

You know, I am being a bit unfair… Miss K is one troubled lady. She is obviously an alcoholic; she looked like hell, which is not the way to make an impression when you meet a guy. When I rang her as I was leaving my friend’s place to meet up with her, she was still in bed, apparently sleeping off the previous nights all night internet chat room session.

I feel sorry for Miss K, but I won’t be seeing her again. But it made me realise how fortunate I am not to be in that sort of situation.

You see Miss K lives alone in a single room bed sit. She apparently has few (if any) friends, and sees very little of her children (apparently at their request). And its apparent to me that what I view as normality or perhaps sanity is not always what is reality, you see Miss K really thinks she is doing ok, at least that’s what she tried to convince me.

Where to next Capt?

So I think I will give the dating wheel of fortune a miss for a few weeks…  Today wasn’t the best of days, at least as far as dating went.

Although Miss S was a heap of laughs… And maybe I get Karma points for bringing some happiness to some lonely women, although I don’t think Miss S is that lonely and Miss K, well…

Capt. Savage

(Intending to remain hairy and bearded, regardless of his growing and uncanny resemblance to Father Christmas)

 

Hopscotch Films – The Sapphires, a real feel good movie

Pictures and material from Hopscotch Films.

The Sapphires… A real feel good movie

I went out tonight and gave the old Internet Dating wheel a spin, it was actually a pleasant night a lovely lady. Nothing romantic happening, just a nice pleasant evening, a good dinner followed by a really great musical romp through outback Australia and then Vietnam. The film is set in the 1960’s and early 1970’s, and tells the tale of a family of Aboriginal singers who form a group and get to tour South Vietnam to entertain the troops.

I really enjoyed this film, not because it had a deep and meaningful plot, or that it was clever or original, but because it was honest, old-fashioned enjoyment. There was a little bit of moralising about the treatment of blacks in Australia, as there should be, I don’t agree with painting over our history, good or bad. There were also some reminders about the events in Vietnam, and racial discrimination, but it was not the main focus of the film, which was definitely the music.

Here are some samples of the music from the film, and the soulful voice of Jessica Mauboy.


What A Man – Jessica Mauboy


Who’s Loving You? – Jessica Mauboy


I Can’t Help Myself – Jessica Mauboy

And the best part… let’s hear it for the Real Sapphires

“The Sapphires feature film is inspired by a true story about four extraordinary Aboriginal women, sisters Laurel Robinson, Lois Peeler and their cousins Beverley Briggs and Naomi Mayers. Yorta Yorta women born along the Murray River, they were part of an extended family of brothers and sisters who regularly sang together during the 1960’s and 70’s. Sisters Laurel and Lois toured Vietnam in the late 1960’s singing to the American troops -­ an extraordinary achievement for two young Aboriginal women, considering that Aboriginal people had just received the right to vote.

All four women still live in Australia. Naomi Mayers has been the Chief Executive Officer of the Aboriginal Medical Service for 30 years. Beverly and Laurel have tirelessly worked by her side striving to improve the health of the Aboriginal community. Naomi received an Order of Australia Medal in 1984. Lois Peeler became Australia’s first Aboriginal model and is now the Executive Director of Worawa Aboriginal College, a secondary education facility for young Aboriginal Women, founded by one of her seven sisters the late Hyllus Maris. Lois is also the former head of Aboriginal Tourism Australia.”

Source: http://www.hopscotchfilms.com.au/the-sapphires-film/the-real-sapphires/

Now did the lady (your date) enjoy the movie?

Yes she seemed to, but it’s hard to tell when you are laughing at it as hard as she was. She even got emotional a couple of times during the few tear jerker moments that this genre of film is really good at, not me of course, I’m a man… I think we both enjoyed the movie, no strike that, I know I did anyway.

Will there be another date Capt?

I don’t know, maybe, it’s nice to go out with someone without there being any pressure or expectations of anything happening apart from enjoying yourself.

Now here is a man crying… And is it just me, or does Robin Williams have REALLY hairy arms? And Yes Rose, I know that you REALLY love that… (hairiness) 🙂

Capt. Savage

(Totally enjoyed watching the Sapphires, a real feel good romp)

Week 21 – Karma gathering has never been so hard…

THE CHALLENGE. A man (Captain Savage). A woman (Rose). A quest. To earn enough karmic points by Christmas to be reincarnated as Something Nice. Maybe a 3 toed sloth, they have a pretty lazy life? (adapted stolen from Rose’s blog)

“Choose to be optimistic, it feels better.”
Dalai Lama XIV

 

The Dalai Lama, what a cheeky chap…

The Captain’s Karma

So what did I get up to this week worthy of perhaps raising myself to a slightly higher reincarnation?

My life this week has revolved around my work, slavishly droning away preparing briefing papers for two meetings. It drove me nuts mostly, and I’m sure I drove the staff working with me nuts too. I was once again being whipped unmercifully by my devil like boss, Mr S …


Here I am, on the galley, slaving away… Oops, maybe this is my fantasy galley… Sorry…

This week I did do some good deeds, just a few squeezed in amongst the grunting and cursing (mostly when I’m at work btw).

I managed to make coffee for several of my staff, or pay for coffees, or some combination of that. I was also very nice to every woman that I could be, getting in practice for dating; just have to catch a slower moving target… Most women run far too fast.


If only I could make a coffee heart + smiley…

Maybe 2.5 points per cuppa = 10 points?

Plus, true knight and shining armour style, I loaned my almost unused vacuum cleaner to a desperate friend (and she appreciated it). Now what she was going to do with it I hope involved just floors and domestics… I’ve heard rumours however about backyard liposuction…

And I kid you not friends…

“Suck-It-Yourself

Liposuction at home

by Eve Rings Published November 8, 1999 in Crave

It would cost me about $2,500 to get the fat sucked out of my ass. It would cost me about $250 to get a Fantom Cyclone XT vacuum with HEPA filter and a free T-shirt. The Fantom Cyclone weighs 25 pounds. I think my ass weighs 25 pounds. It would take about 25 days (almost 4 weeks) for me to heal from ass surgery. If I ordered my vacuum today, it would take me about 5-10 days to receive it by standard shipping. Not only is the Fantom Cyclone XT a great way to do your home liposuction, but it utilizes a certified HEPA filter on the exhaust to trap minute particles such as pollen, mold, fungus, yeast cells, plant spores and many other household allergens.

So what more could you want, after a hard session of liposuction, you can use the Cyclone’s upholstery/pet hair tool to clean up the lounge room, and as an added bonus it comes with an environmentally friendly clear collection bin which you can wash in your dishwasher…”

I found this article on the Internet… It must be true… And the Fantom Cyclone, well I want one now…

So, dear friend, if I find one scrape of fat in my vacuum cleaner, I’ll know what you’ve been up to…


Here is my vacuum cleaner, or one very much like it, pre-liposuction…

So maybe I get some points for dropping off the vacuum? For whatever purpose it’s intended use is = 10 points


And just maybe, just maybe, I went out to the movies straight from work, and didn’t get home to feed dear little Miss T, my pussy. Now she may just have been a little upset with me, see https://captsavage.wordpress.com/2012/08/21/tale-of-my-naughty-pussy/ and just maybe I deserved it for not feeding her on time…

SO what do you think Miss Tabitha = Minus 5 points?

Rose’s Tally…

So this is Rose’s own summary of her efforts:

“what have I thrown out into my ocean this week? Pretty much nothing – I’m struggling just to stay afloat. Unless you count taking my treasured eldest sister to Birthday Breakfast on Sunday – CAN we count that, Ms A? Please?”


A Birthday Breakfast, perhaps it didn’t look like this?

But I think you Miss Rose are being a bit hard on yourself, your heart has and is always in the right place, even if your mind isn’t always… Yep your heart is that pumpy thing in your chest… And this week you have been a little bit distracted, see Rose’s post… http://butimbeautiful.wordpress.com/2012/08/22/the-karmic-challenge-week-21-does-the-universe-care-if-you-pick-your-nose/ and you’ll see what I mean…

So how about… = 5 points?

You don’t really need many anyway; you are so close to being reincarnated as perhaps a sleepy Wombat… Almost nirvana!!!


A Very sleepy Wombat…

Ta Da… and Week 22’s points tally is…

   

Rose

The Capt.

Week No. Week Ending Rose’s Weekly Tally Rose’s Running Total Capt’s Weekly Tally Capt’s Running Total
15

4/07/2012

200

406

50

205

16

11/07/2012

10

416

15

220

17

18/07/2012

10

426

20

240

18

25/07/2012

5

431

25

265

19

1/08/2012

5

436

20

285

20

8/08/2012

10

446

25

310

21

15/08/2012

15

461

30

340

22

22/08/2012

5

466

15

355

Capt. Savage

(Soon to be reincarnated as a small furry gerbil, so cute)


I’d be such a cute Gerbil…