Should humans have stayed in the trees?

Dear Savage Man

Was it a mistake for man to have come down from the trees?

Rose

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Dear Rose,

Thank you for your question, I love people asking me irrelevant and philosophical question. I sit in front of my computer for hours just waiting for these moments (not).

But you now have got me thinking in a few directions, firstly I was impressed that you referred to ‘man’ as these days everyone seems to always go towards some politically correct (PC) term, i.e. he/she or they or people etc. I hate PC language; we spend so much time these days worrying about whether we may upset someone that we end up saying almost nothing.

Then your question brought back memories of one of my favourite books from long ago, my mind flashed to a quote from Douglas Adams’ Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, which went something like this:

“Many were increasingly of the opinion that they’d all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans.”

Was this quote the inspiration for your question? So thanks Rose, now I am stuck with flashbacks of Zaphod Beeblebrox and Arthur Dent… But once I got off thinking about the Hitchhikers Guide (eventually), I wondered did our ancestors (mankind) actually ever live in trees?

The idea that humans were descended from Apes, or more importantly Monkeys, came from Charles Darwin. His two seminal books were ‘On the Origin of Species’ and ‘The Descent of Man’. In the Origin of the Species Darwin argued that environmental factors lead to random genetic mutations producing changes in species which allowed the best adapted individuals in an environment the greatest chance to survive and breed. Darwin claimed this process (evolution) produced large-scale changes in species, but only over enormous periods of time. The implications of this theory were further explained in the Descent of Man, where Darwin used the principles of evolution in relation to human beings to claim that mankind shared a common origin with apes and monkeys, and ultimately with even the simplest forms of life. This caused a huge stir by contradicted the existing religious explanations of where humans came from (creationism). It also upset those who thought humans were unique and far superior to all other species (like monkeys).

There was and still is a lot of controversy and debate between creationists (in my opinion nutters) and evolutionist about the origins of the Earth, humanity, life, and the universe.

The debate gets pretty personal and crazy, especially in America where there have been several attempts to get creationism taught in science classes as a serious alternative to the theory of evolution, refer to the debate on creation and evolution in the public education system. In fact one American creationist, Dr. Kent Hovind, (a certified lunatic) has offered $250,000 (US) to anyone who can give any empirical evidence (scientific proof) for evolution. It is his contention that:

“evolutionism is a religious worldview that is not supported by science, Scripture, popular opinion, or common sense. The exclusive teaching of this dangerous, mind-altering philosophy in tax-supported schools, parks, museums etc., is also a clear violation of the First Amendment.”

Well you might have noticed that I seem to have gone a long way from Rose’s original question, i.e. “was it a mistake to come down from the trees”, but this because as I said at the start, I am not entirely convinced we (mankind) lived in trees in the first place. It all depends on whether we evolved or were created doesn’t it?

Then if we did evolve, what did we evolve from? Some people (probably Rose for one) may think that mankind (especially men) evolved from an even lower form of life than apes and monkeys, perhaps slugs and snails and puppy dogs tails as the old nursery rhyme claims.

Well let’s clear something up straight away, sorry creationists, I believe in evolution, that we are descended from apes and that there is a heap of scientific (fossils) evidence to support this.

Yep, I am an evolved ape; again Rose will probably think I haven’t actually evolved that far! But my (and her) evolutionary chain descends from a family known as ‘hominoids’, see below:

Apes (in order of hominoids)

–          Humans (genus Homo)

–          Chimpanzees (genus Pan)

–          Gorillas (genus Gorilla)

–          Orang-utans (genus Pongo)

–          Gibbons (family Hylobatidae) (*also considered a ‘lessor ape’)

So back to the question Rose, I know, all this scientific talk may excite us males, but you are probably half asleep by now, so I better get back to it then.

I am totally glad we came down from the trees… Why am I glad?

Because I really like what I can do now that I’m not living in a tree, imagine a world where we still lived in trees, it would be awful!!!

Trees are what I sometimes use for camoflage or to observe my targets, but they aren’t nearly as safe a good tank or concrete bunker.

Rose, I love the freedom of walking on the ground and everything that comes with that. I think it’s great to be able to stand upright, and not to have a tail like a monkey, god forbid I even like running (maybe not so much). I am male so obviously I absolutely love driving my car (can’t sit comfortably if I have a tail), eating in restaurants, going to the movies, walking the dog (I actually don’t have a dog, I visit other people like Rose, just so that I can use them as a surrogate and enjoy their dog, best part is that they do all the bad stuff like cleaning up messes and feeding, bathing etc.).

Finally, being the top of the Hominoids means I’ve evolved enough to have the pleasure of cradling my semi-automatic weapon, of holding a drink in my hand while leaning up against the wall and casually gazing across a room looking for my target. I don’t mind visiting a tree occasionally, but I also like to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground.

So before you say it Rose, I could have said the last few paragraphs at the very beginning couldn’t I, but I’m a guy, but that would have deprived me of all that scientific discussion and tangential thinking (military refer to it as tactical thinking), which I really enjoy.

Ciao, Capt. Savage  (and not the Monkey Man!!!)