Another birthday coming… and my Mid Life Crisis is ongoing…

(Love the thought of someone having the Midlife Crisis at 37)

Maybe I’m slightly older than 37 years old, but when exactly does a Midlife Crisis (MLC) start? I’m not sure, but I think I’ve been having one for a while now… And with my impending birthday celebration, or perhaps the anniversary of my impending death, I started thinking about my MLC and what it’s doing to me.

And as Rose and I both go on our great Karma gathering adventure, will my continuing possible Midlife Crisis cause excessive temptations and distraction from my purpose of gathering points from doing good? Not if I can help it…

And yes it’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to! And yes I am old enough (I’m officially a baby boomer) to have seen this on TV (but only just)…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsYJyVEUaC4

10 Signs of a Midlife Crisis (Am I having one?)

1. Job change

Answer: Yep, ok you got me there, I am sorely tempted to chuck in my well paid government middle management job and move to a Yurt in somewhere near Nimbin in rural NSW. I’m sick of working hard, putting up with idiots, all so that I can earn more, just to pay it out to other people (i.e. tax and child support).

Well actually I’m not that tempted yet, and I don’t mind paying child support because I love my kids.

But in a few years I’m tempted to move somewhere more rural, take a lower paying job somewhere local, say a hospital down the south coast of NSW, and live out my days enjoying myself… Got a few years left to fill up my superannuation account, pay off my remaining debts, get the kids through school, but I’m definitely at the classic ‘Sea Change’ point.

2. Death-defying behaviour

Answer: 2 out of 2 so far, not sure if getting divorced counts as ‘death-defying’ but just afterwards I went and joined the Army, always wanted to, something about being in a uniform. So far I’ve only broken my skull courtesy of the Army, and that was in the Officer’s mess. God help me if and when I actually get deployed to Afghanistan or somewhere. But regardless, I’m a trained killer now, so watch out… Plus as part of point 5 below I embarked on a cycling bender and ended up destroying my shoulder, and breaking more ribs than I care to remember.

3. Grooming

Answer: 3 out of 3, so I must be in a MLC, so far I’ve had long hair, short hair, a beard, clean-shaven and currently a moustache (even I am getting confused). I even once shaved it all off, but that was for charity and raised over $1,000. But now that I’m looking in the mirror, maybe I could dye out all that grey stuff…

If Only I looked this good when I’m old and bald…

4. Reverting to twenties behaviour

Answer: It’s hard for me to remember what I got up to when I was twenty, it’s all kind of drunken, drug filled blur (just kidding). But recently I have been going out on a few dates, and doing some stuff I haven’t done in years, like have fun, but maybe that lack of fun was because I was still married up till relatively recently.

Oh I can feel the hate mail coming now… But seriously, I actually don’t want to go back and become a slightly post-pubescent male. I think I’m a much more confident, interesting, and fun guy now than I was then. Or maybe that was because I was living in a small country town in the 1970’s.

That would be me down at the pub…

5. Exercise frenzy

Answer: Ok, so you got me there, 4 out of 5. Post-divorce, and maybe for a bit before, I became a bit of a fitness nut. I took up running (10km runs) until my arches collapsed. Then I took up cycling and at first this was just riding to work and the odd ride on the weekend. But soon I was riding 6 times or more a week, up to 300-350 kilometres each week. I joined the local cycling club, began to ride in 100-200 kilometre endurance rides, basically I went nuts. Eventually nature caught up with me, or more precisely the gravel road I hit when I fell off did. So total shoulder reconstruction, lots of pain medication (morphine was my friend) and now my racing bike is gathering dust and cobwebs on my balcony.

Yeah, that’s me… See my muscles… (Well maybe in my dreams or someone else’s)

6. Outrageous purchases

Answer: There is a trend happening here, it’s 5 out of 6 so far!!! Ok I have done the odd impulse buying lately, which has included a LCD flat screen TV, a cappuccino coffee machine, a sound system, fitness gear, and most recently a classical guitar… And no I can’t play the guitar (well not yet anyway), but I can tune it thanks to the electronic tuning thingy that came with it…

My new guitar (purchased today)…

7. Flirting

Answer: I’m a bit rusty on this, but I think it’s now 6 out of 7, cause I am actively trying to do this. And to tell you the truth although nothing lasting has come of this flirting just yet, I’ve made a few lovely friends and had a bit of fun as well. Look out girls I’m intending to improve my skills in this area, and what’s the worst that can happen apart from the odd slap in the face or punch from the husband…

Yep I love a good red wine and whispering sweet nothings in women’s ears…

8. Seeking out old loves

Answer: Well not so sure about this one, although some more recent post-divorce dates/flings have become friends when nothing long-term resulted from my earnest advances (oh and the odd roll around in the bedroom). I’m still pretty conservative, but I’ve actually gone out with more women since my divorce and MLC than I ever did before. Plus I lost my little black book years ago, or perhaps my ex-wife burnt it, so even if I wanted to reminisce about my past flames, I couldn’t contact them anyway.

A dog’s view of old loves…

9. Irresponsibility

Answer: Rose, maybe you can answer this one, but I have doubts I have an irresponsible bone in my body. In my callow youth I was a bit irresponsible, but 10 years or so of marriage and the enslavement that followed, have well and truly beaten those urges out of me. But I’ve sometimes been sorely tempted, and you never know what tomorrow may bring…

Ok, maybe I’ve tossed the odd stone at a sign or two, but seriously do I need a sign about it…

10. Excessive reminiscing

Answer: I do on the occasion look backwards and think about things that have happened to me. But actually I’m a pretty positive bloke, and I’m always trying to think of where to next, even if I never actually get there. So no I don’t look backwards filled with thoughts of unlived lives, or how things could have been, for me there is always tomorrow!!! Plus getting older means you can always use your age as an excuse, i.e. sorry I just can’t remember you…

No, you can read the full article (courtesy of Reader’s Digest), with their answers… If you think it could help you… And I know, no stone is left unturned in my endless Google search for knowledge!

http://www.readersdigest.com.au/10-signs-of-a-midlife-crisis

So am I actually in the middle of a Midlife Crisis?

Hell yes!!! And I have been for years I think, even before I split up with my ex-wife.

Is being in a Midlife Crisis a bad thing?

No I don’t think it is, I think you should always be open to doing things differently if what you are doing isn’t working for you. Plus I believe in moving forwards, and that you learn from what you did in the past, not regret it (although sometimes is bloody hard not to occasionally dwell on things). I’m pretty happy with where I am at, there are the odd frustration, the odd idiot that I must tolerate, but overall Capt. Savage is a happy chappy (or if you’re Australian a happy little vegemite).

Further reading for those in a MLC and who are worried about it…

By the way, here is some Midlife Crisis self-help for those who need it (I don’t however)…

Coping with your husband’s Midlife Crisis…

http://www.webwombat.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/midlife-crisis.htm

Surviving a Midlife crisis

http://www.smh.com.au/executive-style/culture/surviving-a-midlife-crisis-20110106-19h3w.html

What is a Midlife Crisis (from the divorced point of view)

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/isdivorcethesolution/f/midlifecrisis.htm

Advice from the wonderful/beautiful Rose, well perhaps it’s more of a rant, but it’s funny anyway…

http://butimbeautiful.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/have-a-happy-divorce/

Ladies… Options for a Safe Midlife Crisis

http://candacemorgan.hubpages.com/hub/Ladies-Options-For-A-Safe-Mid-Life-Crisis

Now I’ve got to pop off and jump on my Harley with my new guitar and a hot babe hanging off my back… Plus my birthday is coming up, and this year it happens to fall on mother’s day (well at least it is in Australia). So what a way to celebrate getting cuddles from my mum and giving them to her too!

J

To quote my favourite philosopher, ‘Live long and prosper’

Capt. Savage

(In the middle of a Midlife Crisis and loving it)