5 May, 2012 by Capt. Savage

Another birthday coming… and my Mid Life Crisis is ongoing…

(Love the thought of someone having the Midlife Crisis at 37)

Maybe I’m slightly older than 37 years old, but when exactly does a Midlife Crisis (MLC) start? I’m not sure, but I think I’ve been having one for a while now… And with my impending birthday celebration, or perhaps the anniversary of my impending death, I started thinking about my MLC and what it’s doing to me.

And as Rose and I both go on our great Karma gathering adventure, will my continuing possible Midlife Crisis cause excessive temptations and distraction from my purpose of gathering points from doing good? Not if I can help it…

And yes it’s my birthday and I’ll cry if I want to! And yes I am old enough (I’m officially a baby boomer) to have seen this on TV (but only just)…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsYJyVEUaC4

10 Signs of a Midlife Crisis (Am I having one?)

1. Job change

Answer: Yep, ok you got me there, I am sorely tempted to chuck in my well paid government middle management job and move to a Yurt in somewhere near Nimbin in rural NSW. I’m sick of working hard, putting up with idiots, all so that I can earn more, just to pay it out to other people (i.e. tax and child support).

Well actually I’m not that tempted yet, and I don’t mind paying child support because I love my kids.

But in a few years I’m tempted to move somewhere more rural, take a lower paying job somewhere local, say a hospital down the south coast of NSW, and live out my days enjoying myself… Got a few years left to fill up my superannuation account, pay off my remaining debts, get the kids through school, but I’m definitely at the classic ‘Sea Change’ point.

2. Death-defying behaviour

Answer: 2 out of 2 so far, not sure if getting divorced counts as ‘death-defying’ but just afterwards I went and joined the Army, always wanted to, something about being in a uniform. So far I’ve only broken my skull courtesy of the Army, and that was in the Officer’s mess. God help me if and when I actually get deployed to Afghanistan or somewhere. But regardless, I’m a trained killer now, so watch out… Plus as part of point 5 below I embarked on a cycling bender and ended up destroying my shoulder, and breaking more ribs than I care to remember.

3. Grooming

Answer: 3 out of 3, so I must be in a MLC, so far I’ve had long hair, short hair, a beard, clean-shaven and currently a moustache (even I am getting confused). I even once shaved it all off, but that was for charity and raised over $1,000. But now that I’m looking in the mirror, maybe I could dye out all that grey stuff…

If Only I looked this good when I’m old and bald…

4. Reverting to twenties behaviour

Answer: It’s hard for me to remember what I got up to when I was twenty, it’s all kind of drunken, drug filled blur (just kidding). But recently I have been going out on a few dates, and doing some stuff I haven’t done in years, like have fun, but maybe that lack of fun was because I was still married up till relatively recently.

Oh I can feel the hate mail coming now… But seriously, I actually don’t want to go back and become a slightly post-pubescent male. I think I’m a much more confident, interesting, and fun guy now than I was then. Or maybe that was because I was living in a small country town in the 1970’s.

That would be me down at the pub…

5. Exercise frenzy

Answer: Ok, so you got me there, 4 out of 5. Post-divorce, and maybe for a bit before, I became a bit of a fitness nut. I took up running (10km runs) until my arches collapsed. Then I took up cycling and at first this was just riding to work and the odd ride on the weekend. But soon I was riding 6 times or more a week, up to 300-350 kilometres each week. I joined the local cycling club, began to ride in 100-200 kilometre endurance rides, basically I went nuts. Eventually nature caught up with me, or more precisely the gravel road I hit when I fell off did. So total shoulder reconstruction, lots of pain medication (morphine was my friend) and now my racing bike is gathering dust and cobwebs on my balcony.

Yeah, that’s me… See my muscles… (Well maybe in my dreams or someone else’s)

6. Outrageous purchases

Answer: There is a trend happening here, it’s 5 out of 6 so far!!! Ok I have done the odd impulse buying lately, which has included a LCD flat screen TV, a cappuccino coffee machine, a sound system, fitness gear, and most recently a classical guitar… And no I can’t play the guitar (well not yet anyway), but I can tune it thanks to the electronic tuning thingy that came with it…

My new guitar (purchased today)…

7. Flirting

Answer: I’m a bit rusty on this, but I think it’s now 6 out of 7, cause I am actively trying to do this. And to tell you the truth although nothing lasting has come of this flirting just yet, I’ve made a few lovely friends and had a bit of fun as well. Look out girls I’m intending to improve my skills in this area, and what’s the worst that can happen apart from the odd slap in the face or punch from the husband…

Yep I love a good red wine and whispering sweet nothings in women’s ears…

8. Seeking out old loves

Answer: Well not so sure about this one, although some more recent post-divorce dates/flings have become friends when nothing long-term resulted from my earnest advances (oh and the odd roll around in the bedroom). I’m still pretty conservative, but I’ve actually gone out with more women since my divorce and MLC than I ever did before. Plus I lost my little black book years ago, or perhaps my ex-wife burnt it, so even if I wanted to reminisce about my past flames, I couldn’t contact them anyway.

A dog’s view of old loves…

9. Irresponsibility

Answer: Rose, maybe you can answer this one, but I have doubts I have an irresponsible bone in my body. In my callow youth I was a bit irresponsible, but 10 years or so of marriage and the enslavement that followed, have well and truly beaten those urges out of me. But I’ve sometimes been sorely tempted, and you never know what tomorrow may bring…

Ok, maybe I’ve tossed the odd stone at a sign or two, but seriously do I need a sign about it…

10. Excessive reminiscing

Answer: I do on the occasion look backwards and think about things that have happened to me. But actually I’m a pretty positive bloke, and I’m always trying to think of where to next, even if I never actually get there. So no I don’t look backwards filled with thoughts of unlived lives, or how things could have been, for me there is always tomorrow!!! Plus getting older means you can always use your age as an excuse, i.e. sorry I just can’t remember you…

No, you can read the full article (courtesy of Reader’s Digest), with their answers… If you think it could help you… And I know, no stone is left unturned in my endless Google search for knowledge!

http://www.readersdigest.com.au/10-signs-of-a-midlife-crisis

So am I actually in the middle of a Midlife Crisis?

Hell yes!!! And I have been for years I think, even before I split up with my ex-wife.

Is being in a Midlife Crisis a bad thing?

No I don’t think it is, I think you should always be open to doing things differently if what you are doing isn’t working for you. Plus I believe in moving forwards, and that you learn from what you did in the past, not regret it (although sometimes is bloody hard not to occasionally dwell on things). I’m pretty happy with where I am at, there are the odd frustration, the odd idiot that I must tolerate, but overall Capt. Savage is a happy chappy (or if you’re Australian a happy little vegemite).

Further reading for those in a MLC and who are worried about it…

By the way, here is some Midlife Crisis self-help for those who need it (I don’t however)…

Coping with your husband’s Midlife Crisis…

http://www.webwombat.com.au/lifestyle/relationships/midlife-crisis.htm

Surviving a Midlife crisis

http://www.smh.com.au/executive-style/culture/surviving-a-midlife-crisis-20110106-19h3w.html

What is a Midlife Crisis (from the divorced point of view)

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/isdivorcethesolution/f/midlifecrisis.htm

Advice from the wonderful/beautiful Rose, well perhaps it’s more of a rant, but it’s funny anyway…

http://butimbeautiful.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/have-a-happy-divorce/

Ladies… Options for a Safe Midlife Crisis

http://candacemorgan.hubpages.com/hub/Ladies-Options-For-A-Safe-Mid-Life-Crisis

Now I’ve got to pop off and jump on my Harley with my new guitar and a hot babe hanging off my back… Plus my birthday is coming up, and this year it happens to fall on mother’s day (well at least it is in Australia). So what a way to celebrate getting cuddles from my mum and giving them to her too!

To quote my favourite philosopher, ‘Live long and prosper’

Capt. Savage

(In the middle of a Midlife Crisis and loving it)

2 May, 2012 by Capt. Savage

The Great Karmic Challenge – Week 5 – I’m an amoeba maybe!

Well I’ve been a bit slack and didn’t make a post for week 5, I just reposted Rose’s post… So maybe that’s a minus to start with, but re-blogging her excellent post, maybe I’m even?

So here is a combined Week 4 and Week 5

First Week 4 & 5

Aim – Introduce myself to someone new every week and try to engage them in conversation and get to know them (and I mean a real in the flesh person, not via Facebook etc.);

Reality – Well I did introduce myself to a couple of people using a dating website, but does cyber friending count? Neither is anywhere near where I live, and in both cases I found that out after starting to correspond with them (why can’t people put the truth up on their web profiles?). BTW I am actually 6’2″ with a strong dimpled chin, well-muscled shoulders and I’m currently the on the Australian Olympic Team (at least according to my web profile). So maybe that’s a big fat Zero points

(That’s me at the beach)

Aim – Do a genuine good dead every day, doesn’t matter what, could be just letting someone in a line for coffee, giving someone a kind word;

Reality – Ok here I did some good work for one of my colleagues who got a really nasty email from someone at work. I was strong and helpful, and they really appreciated it. Maybe 2 points for being there for them.

(Yep I was up there giving out man hugs, metaphorically speaking)

Aim – Contact an old friend by letter or phone every month and arrange a catch-up;

Reality – I had lunch with an old friend at a wonderful little café/gallery in North Canberra/Belconnen. Plus 2 points

(Some of the sculptures and outside artworks at the Café/Gallery at Strathnairn, Holt ACT)

Aim – Commit to a regular charitable donation like sponsoring a child, or making a regular pledge to a charity. I love kids so I’ll probably end up sponsoring a child;

Reality – Nope didn’t donate anything apart from paying taxes, bought myself a new flat screen TV cause it was a great special, minus 3 points.

(Here it is, my new flat screen TV)

Aim – Be a good citizen at work and make an effort to socialise (note Australian spelling) with others (even those I can’t stand, but without being too creepy crawly);

Reality – Had the opportunity to socialise (No we don’t us Z’s in Australia, at least not in Socialise) and was asked to meet up with some people after work, I didn’t feel like it, so Zero points.

(The Human Centaur, No it’s totally irrelevant, but apart from the hair on his chest, what the hell was he thinking?)

Aim – Commit to visiting my mum at least every month or so, she lives over 3 hours’ drive away, but she is 88 and she really appreciates seeing her kids;

Reality – So I am going to visit my mum in two weeks, and I’m looking forward to it!!! But I did say that in week 3 also, so maybe that’s Zero points until I actually do something.

(That’s me on the right, the naughty son…)

Aim – Try to make someone laugh or get a smile not a frown (but I don’t think I’ll carry a feather sword like my colleague Capt. Feather-sword of the Wiggles);

Reality – Ok I was a clown as much as possible and managed to squeeze a few laughs out of people, but my humour (honest Microsoft in Australia we spell it this way) is sometimes an acquired taste, so I’ll give myself 3 points for trying and minus 2 points for delivery = 1 point.

(John Cleese I am not although when I was younger I thought I was just as funny, well after a few beers I did)

Aim – Write an actual letter to my daughter every week for the rest of the year. Now this might sound harsh as I’ve excluded my sons, but due to their disabilities they have no language and can’t speak, read or write. My daughter however, well it’s hard to shut her up (but I love her regardless);

Reality – Once again a total failure

(Who can resist a crying little girl, especially when you’re the daddy)

So how did Rose do? Rose will be posting her score shortly and when she does I’ll update this table, for what it’s worth I think I am perhaps an Amoeba by now.

This is my count on the score; complaints can be referred to me at my email address mailto:KissMyAss@WhoCaresWhatYouThink.com.au

		Rose		The Capt.
Week No.	Week Ending	Rose’s Weekly Tally	Rose’s Running Total	Capt’s Weekly Tally	Capt’s Running Total
0	21/03/2012	0	0	-7	-7
1	28/03/2012	12	12	13	6
2	4/04/2012	15	27	18	24
3	11/04/2012	10	37	11	35
4	18/04/2012	10	47	11	46
5	25/04/2012	4	51	-3	43
6	2/05/2012

Note; Week 6 is blank, I’ll fill it in when Rose and I put up our scores.

So what will I try for next week…

Try not to fart as much… Just joking

I will commit to sponsoring a child
I am having dinner with another couple of friends I haven’t seen in ages
And watch out I may do something Outrageous and Generous as I need heaps of Karma, yep I want to rapidly transform into something less slimy.

Capt. Savage

(Currently an amoeba, what will next week bring?)

2 May, 2012 by Capt. Savage

I’m turning into a slacker… And I’m loving it!!!

This morning I slept in and was casually wandering around the unit, getting brekky, listening to the radio, generally (and slowly) waking up, when I happened to glance at the clock and notice it was 8.30… Now I am actually supposed to be at work then, and being a manager I thought I better get my butt into gear and get to work. But then I thought better of that idea and decided what the heck, I made myself a cappuccino in my travel coffee cup, the beauty of having my own coffee machine. Then I casually wandered down to my car.

As I got into the car I noticed that I’d left my work phone off and decided to turn it on. That’s when the appointment reminder popped up to nag me about the 8.30 appointment I was already supposed to be at, OOPS. Hurried apology sent, but did I hurry to get to work, NO, I really am turning into a slacker.

(Yep, that relaxed feeling, bring it on!!!)

I eventually wandered into work just after 9.00, well closer to 9.15.

Why this slackness?

Well I’m actively starting to evaluate what’s important to me, I’m sick and tired of being a victim to my diary and other people’s priorities. I’ve started to turn my mobile phone off, not answer it if I am busy or don’t want to. I’m no longer replying immediately to text messages and emails, not religiously checking my blog for comments or forcing myself to post something each day. I’ve even almost weened myself off my Facebook addiction and now only use my Twitter account to promote my blog entries (when I make them) and then only automatically via the blog software.

Do I feel guilty?

No not the least bit, the meeting was not really that important (to me) although the other party may not agree with me. I’ve started to realise that I can’t always be that incandescently focussed person that some people feel I should be. My eureka moment recently is that maybe my life is better focussed on what I want to do, and I should be honest with others and not just commit myself to things to make other people happy.