10 Ways that Technology has Ruined Men

Firstly, I have to acknowledge that I am heavily quoting another persons web posting, see ‘10 Ways Technology Has Ruined Modern Men‘ from BroBible.  But I didn’t want to just re-blog this guys page as it is one of those, advert infested pages, full of pop-ups and pictures of scantily clad ladies, with links leading to all sorts of undesirable content which you can’t view at work, especially if surrounded by women.

So here is a Capt. Savage interpretation…

1. Internet Dating Sites – Why has this become so OK? So we are all busy, and don’t have time to go out to a bar or to date.” But, surprise surprise (quoting Gomer Pile), we somehow have time to maintain a profile on RSVP? If you can’t possibly find the hours to go out and enjoy the fruits of life and masculinity then you might as well string yourself up and call it a fucking day.

Why would a man do this to themselves???

2. Video Games are Not Reality – Video games haven’t completely ruined us yet, but they continue to add to the growth of obesity plaguing Australian kids. One of my work colleagues, let’s call him the ‘body-hairless guy’, is totally addicted to one of those internet Mortal Combat type games. Now why he is hairless is possibly a topic for another blog on another day. This guy will spend hours fighting virtual battles on his computer with his internet ‘mates’. He has never met any of them and is unlikely to, as he’s in his fifties and they are most likely hairless youths (not by choice like him). I prefer to play real war games, with real weapons, outside in the open air (I’m a soldier if you hadn’t guessed).

3. Being on a Social Network Site is not a ‘real’ friendship  (i.e. Facebook, etc.) - I have been on Facebook for a little while and at the beginning did some stupid things, revealed way too much about myself to people who in reality either don’t know me or don’t care about me. I even did the ‘I’m in a relationship’ thing, i.e. changed my status. Never do this unless you really are in a relationship, because if you had a chance of it happening (but it hadn’t happened just yet) then it will be over in an instant… Make sure you know something is really happening before posting it, and only allow real friends on your Facebook page, see below…
 

You should also be aware that trying to be social can bring all kinds of issues. Especially if ex-girlfriends and other girls, that my current girlfriend (at that time) hated, start posting double entendre loaded posts. No matter how I tried to claim their posts were innocent, she did what most women do. She screamed her head off at me, and not in cyberspace either. She accused me of leading them on, and that at I was screwing at least one of them (which, if you knew me, was rubbish). Logic rarely triumphs over emotion, delete these posts and tell the person involved not to do it again (better still un-friend them).

4. The death of the One Night Stand. Well it’s not dead, but now people want to write about it on Facebook, tweet about it on Twitter, worse still post on YouTube shaky videos taken on mobiles. Gone are the days that it was quietly spoken about by the girls around the

A one night stand... As usual the guys gone to sleep...

water cooler or in the tea room. As well as that you can’t do it in the Military, as all of a sudden there is a bloody judicial enquiry and someone gets in a shitload of trouble. In my day sex, as long as it was with consent, was sex, and there was nothing wrong with cruising bars and picking up someone for a bit back at your place (so long as it wasn’t your mates girlfriend).

5. Sportsmen (and Women) aren’t Perfect – I am sick of people bitching about what sports stars, celebrities and politicians get up to. Unless it’s illegal what is the problem. If Mr X gets drunk, falls over, or perhaps urinates in a public place, let the police deal with it. But if they haven’t done anything apart from committing a crime against good taste and

Todd Carney in trouble again

morals, why should they be treated differently from the average joe.

6. What has happened to the Music Industry – Music that was good used to be sold in record shops (ok, the CD/DVD store). Talented musicians and bands practiced like hell in their garages, worked the Pubs and Clubs circuits, built up a following and, well, they earned their way to the top. Now all you need is no other gainful employment, a few computers, a tape recorder, good editing skills, and you too can be an Internet / YouTube sensation.

7. Bloody GPS’s – Part of being a man used to be knowing, or rather, pretending to know, where the fuck you were going at all times. Asking for directions is just not on, and doing so reduces you manliness. If you were ever lost, you pulled out a UBD road map and figured out where you were yourself. We were like road warriors, we never asked those travelling with us (made us look like wimps). Now everyone has a TomTom or Google Maps on their bloody iPhone (should I admit here that I do too). Come on guys, be men, and if you do have a TomTom, make sure it has a Simpsons voice on it (like me).

8. Televised Sporting Events - Everyone now has a 1 million centimetre flat screen TV and is a subscriber to Foxtel or some other cable/satellite network. So the days of people actually getting off their fat arses and going to see a ‘real’ footy game appear to be numbered. I miss the sound of grunting (real not virtual) and the smell of eucalyptus and other stinky rubs, the sweat and those really crappy pies and hot dogs at sports events.

9. Fantasy Sports -  What has happened to real sports? Instead test cricket becomes limited over cricket, then 20/20 cricket.  I can’t stand all of those reality shows with people climbing over barriers and falling in mud and jelly. In my world you have to climb over real obstacles carrying your weapon (AK47, M60, Grenade Launcher etc), while being shot at. Reality is so much better than bullshit.

10. Internet Porn – Now, I must point out here that I am not trying to claim that porn should be banned, because I may have seen some in my time (and sometimes even enjoyed it). But as with point 9, it is so easily available that some people are opting for it rather than the real thing. Now, while I have watched the occasional stick film or visited one or two inappropriate websites, I don’t think it (internet porn) in any way substitutes for the real thing (i.e. sex with a hot chick).

Capt. Savage

(Trained Killer)

P.S. Real is so much better than fantasy…